


I Need a Hero

by Anonymous



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Canon-Typical Violence, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Kind of an Accidental My Hero Academia AU, Sensory Overload, Written Pre-Season 5 and 6, implied/referenced child abandonment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-06-21
Packaged: 2019-05-26 03:15:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 48,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14991560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Born in a world where about half the population has magic powers, Lance has always dreamed of attending the Garrison to become a hero like his childhood idols. However, despite his outgoing exterior, Lance is also insecure about his powers' usefulness and his own skills as a hero. Which is why he's not thrilled when he meets the hotheaded Keith, who is so talented as a fighter he was accepted to the Garrison despite not even having any magic and somehow ended up on his team. But there's more to Keith than meets the eye, and he has his own fears and insecurities driving him too.(Written pre Season 5 and 6 for the VLD Supernova).





	1. First Meetings

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was written before season 5 and 6 and as a result, the characterization does not take anything that happened in those seasons into account. I hope everyone enjoys reading!
> 
> Art by the wonderful and talented Curiouslyartistic, who was a joy to work with: https://curiously-artistic.tumblr.com/post/175101928126/this-is-one-of-my-contributions-to-the

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by the awesome Shiroikumo who was great to work with on this: http://shiroikumo.tumblr.com/post/175099865336/my-piece-for-vldsupernovabang-the-meeting-scene

 Lance turns ten and wakes up with someone else’s face.

It’s disconcerting, to say the least. Lance screams loud enough that his sister Veronica runs into the room, eyes wide and confused as this stranger in their brother’s clothes waves their arms in the air, tears slowly falling down unfamiliar cheeks.

  Lance pushes past her, barely hearing Veronica whisper his name as he moves closer to the mirror. At least she still knows who he is, somehow. Lance pushes at the mirror, once then twice, as though maybe it’s the problem and not him. No dice. Lance then tries closing his eyes and counting to five, but he still doesn’t know the face staring back at him, with the brown eyes and upturned nose and mass of freckles spread across his cheeks.

  Lance prods the unfamiliar cheek, pulling at the skin there hard enough that it starts to turn red beneath his fingertips. Eventually his face until it slowly slides back into his own features, blue eyes and tanned skin and slightly crooked teeth (it was pre-braces) staring back at him. He takes a few deep breaths, barely able to feel his legs as they crumple to the floor below him, because what was happening?

  “You’re a witch,” Veronica murmurs, brushing her hand down his back as she kneels down on the floor next to him. Lance turns his head a little, so he can look her in the eye, blinking through his tears as he tries to process her words. It’s not impossible, Luis and Marco and his mom all had powers, but they were mostly elemental based. Luis’ a fire mage and his mom could control rain. Marco’s an empath, which he guesses is a little closer to shapeshifting or face stealing or whatever just happened to him. But it’s still weird and different and it still wasn’t his face. “Dad’s aunt was a shapeshifter.”

  “Oh yeah,” Lance murmurs as he leans into her half hug and letting her brush a few of his tears off of his face. He can tell she’s pretty freaked out too, because she’s pulling on her braid with her other hand. Lance finally rolls to his feet a few minutes later, glancing down the hallway hesitantly. “Mom? I got powers.”

   His mother comes rushing down the hallway and after that, Lance’s life starts a new in a lot of ways. He doesn’t have to switch schools like a lot of kids do, but he has to stay an hour later for magic lessons. Lance is annoyed at first, but then he gets to learn how to channel his energy enough that he can control his shapeshifting, at least part way. That’s when things get _fun_. Lance starts experimenting, changing his hair color and eye color on whim, adding a few inches here and there, and once making himself look exactly like a famous pop star at a mall. That one might have been a mistake, in retrospect, but those fifteen minutes of fame were pretty exciting.

  But then middle school ends and high school starts, and fun doesn’t go away, but it does suddenly get a lot of pressure piled onto it and it doesn’t become a diamond. Not right anyway at least. Luis goes into magical healing, Marco graduates summa cum laude and starts college for witchcraft and the law, and Veronica goes abroad for an art scholarship in Spain.

  Everyone in his family is talented and brilliant and Lance is … just Lance. He’s not special, he’s not even the best magic user in his class. Lance wants to be as important, as special as the rest of his family. He wants to make his family proud, but he also wants to be recognized and seen for his own strengths. Kind of makes the shapeshifting ironic.

  High school is also when Lance realizes having magic comes with its own unique set of dangers. There are people without it who want him dead or to make them all into weapons, there’s people with it who want the same thing, criminals, and the void creatures, which are somehow even scarier than they sound. They’re born out of natural magic, the spaces between, where there’s just a vacuum of magic. They’re beings of pure magical energy, and some of them are harmless, but a lot of them are malevolent, filled with negative energy and fueled by people’s insecurities and hurt. Lance worries about going near any of those kinds, about what they’ll see in him, or worse, _won’t_.

  High school isn’t all bad though, he does make a lot of friends there, have his first kiss and first breakup with a girl named Nyma (okay, that’s not good, but it’s a life lesson), learns how to disguise himself for hours, and most importantly he meets Hunk. Hunk is basically the best person in the world and maybe the most handsome, all warm smiles and loyal friendship and (sometimes a little too blunt) life advice.

  Hunk can also turn his hands into drills and screwdrivers and whisks, which amazes and terrifies Lance in equal measure the first time he sees him do it. Hunk had rubbed the back of his neck with his non-weaponized hand and explained his magic was metals and science based. Lance still doesn’t get the science behind turning a hand into a drill, but Hunk does and that’s what matters.

  Hunk’s also the one who inadvertently helps Lance find his own path, even if it is by accident when he tosses a brochure over his shoulder. Lance catches it stopping mid step as he reads over the name. _The Garrison_. It’s where kids who want to help protect the world and keep it safe from the void creatures as well as more human threats train to develop their skills and abilities, where people become heroes and rock stars all in one, like Shiro.

  And Lance, who wants to be recognized and accepted and to help people, can’t see a better path for him. Convincing Hunk though, is a harder sell.

  “No,” Hunk says as he leans back against Lance’s wall, his feet hanging off the edge of Lance’s bed. Hunk digs one hand into Lance’s sky-blue comforter as he glares over at him. Lance shrugs and then gives Hunk his most pleading look, pressing his hands together as he leans forward. “Look, I want to go to university that specializes in using magic to cook or to do engineering – “

  “You can do engineering at the Garrison! They’re at the cutting edge of technology,” Lance reminds Hunk with a bright grin, holding up his index people as he crosses his legs. Hunk raises an eyebrow, lips pressed into a thin line as he digs his fingers further into Lance’s comforter. Somehow Lance doesn’t think Hunk’s convinced, but Lance will get him there. “And they’re using it to help people.”

  “Yeah, but I can do that at a hospital too, and without almost dying,” Hunk answers with a shrug, furrowing his brow a little as he glances at Lance. Lance gives him a sheepish grin, because okay, he did kind of just spring this Garrison idea on him, but now that Lance has had it, he knows it’s the right choice. He can feel it in his bones.

  “But think of the adventure and all the friends you’d make across the world,” Lance says as he gives Hunk a more serious look, eyebrows scrunching in a little as he tries to look as heroic and determined as the posters he’s seen of Paladins past and present. Lance is gonna need a lot of practice to get on their level, but he believes in himself. He’s _very_ charming. More importantly, as much as Lance wants the prestige, more than anything he wants to help people, and unlike Hunk, this is kind of his best shot to be the kind of person he wants to be. Otherwise, shapeshifting is mostly good for acting and modeling, and while Lance would be great at both, neither sound fulfilling right now.

   Hunk’s expression wavers a bit as he seems to roll over Lance’s word, picking up the Garrison brochure and flipping over a few pages as he bites his lip. Lance knows that expression, and he gives Hunk a small smile as the other boy meets his gaze. “I mean, the friends part doesn’t sound bad …”

  “And you and me, Hunk, we’re a dream team,” Lance reminds him as he holds up his hand for a fist bump, wiggling his eyebrows a little as he waits for Hunk to make a decision. If Hunk really doesn’t want to go to the Garrison, Lance will let it go and make it on his own, but he’d rather go with best friend by his side. Plus, he knows Hunk would make an awesome superhero. They could call him the ‘Drill’ or ‘Power Saw’ or something.

  “We are pretty great,” Hunk agrees with a low sigh, shaking his head a little. Then he gives Lance a rueful smile, picking up the brochure again and spreading it out between them. Lance glances down at the page he’s on, where a girl is using her powers to bend stone into crystal. “I guess we can apply? Some of the people here do look pretty cool, and besides we might not even get in.”

   Lance scoffs at that, punching Hunk on the shoulder lightly before he grabs his textbook from the table. Hunk’s a genius with one of the most unique powers Lance has ever seen. He’s basically a shoe in wherever he applies. And Lance … well, he’s not, but he’s about to study harder than he ever has in life. Hopefully that will be enough for once.

  Somehow, Lance is still surprised when it is, throwing his arms around a slightly stunned looking Hunk as they stare at the list of people who passed the Garrison entrance exams. Maybe he is good enough after all.

* * *

  Keith and his dad moved a lot, all of his toys and clothes and books kept in his red backpack and a cardboard box. When he was little Keith never asked why, because if he needed to know dad would tell him. He did wish he knew when it was coming though, because every time someone invited him over or asked him to come play, Keith was suddenly shaken awake by his dad and carried to their pick-up truck. The truck was worn and brown, thin trails of dust on it and a thin layer of crumbs always covering the backseat. His dad didn't have time to clean it between finding temp work and getting Keith into yet another school he’d leave three weeks later.

  It’s not until Keith was eight and he and his dad move to Houston that something bizarre happened. They didn't move. Three months go by and his dad hadn't mentioned leaving once, had started putting up photos in the apartment. One day he ruffled Keith’s hair, smile soft as he stared down at him and asked him if he’d like to join the soccer team. Keith didn't understand why they were staying, and then he does.

  The officials didn't think his mom was going to try and get him anymore. That was what his dad said. Keith stared back at him with a small frown, cocking his head a little as he crossed his arms. His dad had only told him bits and pieces about his mom over the years, how she loved dogs and pasta with a lot of spices and how she would sing little nonsense songs to him. But Keith knew nothing about what she did or why she left both of them. He definitely didn’t know that it was something that would make the officials want to keep him hidden away from her. That … that made her sound like a bad guy. Keith crossed his arms tighter against his chest, eyes growing a little watery as he stared up at his dad.

  “Keith, if you develop powers, you can’t show them to anyone,” his dad says as he kneels down in front of him, sliding one hand onto his shoulder and giving it a light squeeze. Keith stares back at his dad, scrunching his eyebrows together as he tries to understand what his dad means or why he thinks Keith’s powers are going to be scary. Does his dad think he’s scary?

  “Why not?” Keith asks in a small voice, pouting a little. His dad lessens his grip so that Keith can take a step back, biting his lip as he tries to keep from stamping his foot. He’s too old for that for now. Keith pulls on the edge of the sleeve of his hoodie instead, worn red fabric soft and comforting in his hand. Keith just doesn’t understand why his powers would be bad when having powers is basically the coolest thing that could happen to anyone. “Everyone on TV shows them off all the time.”

  “We’re … people on TV don’t have the history that you do,” his dad murmurs softly, holding up his hand again as he gives Keith a pleading look. Keith takes a step forward, pout growing a little softer as he lets his dad pull him into a quick hug. He has his dad and his dad has him, and that’s the way it’s always been and always will be. Keith can’t afford to be mad at him for very long. Plus he wants to ask his dad to get ice cream later.

  Keith bites his lip as he stares up at his dad as the hug breaks, his hands still on his shoulder as he stares down at him. His gaze is heavy with a pain Keith’s seen in flashes before, but never this long, looking like he might start crying. Keith feels a chill in his bones, voice trembling a little as he stares up at his dad. “What are you talking about daddy?”

  “Your mother … she, her powers made her do some bad things, and she hurt a lot of people,” his dad says after a beat, taking a deep breath as he closes his eyes. Keith feels his heart sink in his chest at the words. His mom was a bad guy and she hurt people. He’s the child of a villain. He’s never going to be like the heroes he dresses up as for Halloween. Keith’s dad squeezes his shoulder, smile pained as his gaze grows distant. Suddenly his dad feels far away. “That’s why she’s not with us now. The best way for you to stay safe is not to use them.”

  “Okay,” Keith whispers with a small nod, bangs falling across his face as he tries to hold back his tears. He’s a big boy now, he’s not going to cry because the mom he never met turned out to be evil. All that means is Keith has to make sure he doesn’t turn out like her and if that means never using magic, then so be it. Besides, he might not ever get any. His dad doesn’t have any, and Keith knows they must be more alike than he and his mom are.

  Keith’s dad disappears when he’s ten, Keith waking up to find himself alone in his apartment, breakfast still warm where its sitting on the table. The truck isn’t even gone. It doesn’t make sense. He waits and waits but his dad never comes back, and the police can’t find him no matter how many photos Keith gives them. He’s just gone. Keith cries and cries, and then he tries to run away so he can find him, lunch money getting him one bus stop away before he gets caught and finds himself in child protective services. Keith thinks they should probably think of a new name.

  Keith hugs his stuffed cat, one of the only toys he kept after they took him away and curls up into a ball against the bed they’ve given him for now. He wants to go home. Keith feels so unsafe, alone in a strange house with strange kids, waiting to be sent to people he doesn’t know for who knows how long. He still thinks his dad will come back, they say lots of parents do, but he’s been missing for months now. He doesn’t think things could get worse.

  Then he develops powers. Keith takes a year to realize that’s what’s going on, his senses suddenly going haywire. At first Keith thinks it’s just that he’s traumatized or over stimulated, because things will just be too loud for a few minutes or everything will go blurry. Then one day he’s able to see things five miles away from him, a ladybug on a gas pump crystal clear. Keith’s pretty sure most people’s eyes can do that. Keith is 12 and after panicking and running several blocks, he walks into the nearest _Target_ and buys some gloves. Keith asks to be added to anti-magic classes at school the next day, because sometimes the best way to hide is in plain sight and maybe, maybe he can make up for the crimes his mother committed. He’s seen the footage now. The fire and explosions, his mom in the middle of every attack with a tight frown and sad eyes. _YouTube_ is the gift that keeps on giving.

  Training for hours and forcing his senses down (or up) becomes his new norm, Keith learning to hold everything in and keep everyone out just like his dad taught him. Then a strange young man, apparently the youngest Paladin in the history of the Garrison, walks into his life. Keith crosses his arms and leans against the wall, scowling as he waves at him. “Who are you?”

  “Takashi Shirogane, but you can call me Shiro,” Shiro says with a bright smile, though there’s a tightness to his gaze Keith doesn’t see on the heroes’ faces on TV when they do the ads for joining the Garrison. It makes Keith feel safer with him, expression growing a little kinder as Shiro’s gaze takes on a knowing look. Keith’s fourteen and no one understands him and not just because he’s a moody teen (though that’s also true), but because there’s just something … different about him. But suddenly, with Shiro smiling at him, Keith feels known. “I’m doing an outreach here – “

  “I don’t need to be reached,” Keith mutters as he crosses his arms, expression growing tighter as he leans away from the other man. So Shiro’s been assigned to be his babysitter because yet another school’s decided he’s a ‘problem child’ or has ‘trouble socializing’. Like it’s trouble if you never try to in the first place.

  “You look like you do,” Shiro says with a small smirk, scrunching his eyebrows together as he leans toward Keith. Keith blinks a little, not able to stop himself from pouting little. He’s been doing fine on his own for almost four years. He doesn’t need a big brother figure now. Shiro slides a hand to his shoulder like Keith isn’t glaring daggers at him. “And more importantly you looked pretty good with that practice sword.”

  “You – you think?” Keith asks in surprise, not able to keep a small smile from flitting across his face. Keith’s worked hard, trained for hours every day but he doesn’t – most people think it’s scary. Shiro though, he just smiles and asks if Keith wants to train, and Keith can’t stop himself from saying yes and following Shiro down the hallway.

  That’s the next big change in Keith’s life, suddenly finding himself not alone again. Shiro isn’t there in the way his dad was, but Keith does see him every weekend, sometimes (mostly) for training and studying anti-magic, but sometimes for lunch or movies. It slowly but surely becomes a comforting routine and Keith can’t help but feel his stomach drop when Shiro tells him he’s going back to the Garrison to teach a class for the year and serve as a Paladin there instead of in the city here. That’s when the next big change comes.

  “And I want you to come with me,” Shiro tells him with a warm smile as he slides Keith a coffee, Keith staring up at him in shock as he tries to process his words. Nope, they still don’t make any sense. Maybe years of being a soldier have made Shiro forget how the real world works.  

  “That’s a school for people with magic, Shiro,” Keith reminds him after a beat, letting out a low sigh as he takes a sip of his drink. He glances down at the table, bangs falling across his face to hide the hurt in his gaze, the disappointment. He doesn’t want to see Shiro realize the truth in his words, that Keith is once again going to lose a place, or at least a person, where he thought he belonged. It’s the same old story. Keith’s getting pretty bored of it.

  “They train people with talent in anti-magic weaponry and fighting as well, and you’re the most promising fighter I’ve met in a while,” Shiro tells him as he leans forward, gripping Keith’s shoulder. Keith’s gaze shoots up, eyes growing wide before he glances down at his gloved hands. Lately holding weapons has gotten more and more painful, his natural magical energy and the weapons at war. But Shiro believes in him and Keith, Keith _is_ a good fighter. He can protect people with weapons the same way other people do with magic. Keith can -

  “I’ll think about it,” Keith says after a beat, giving Shiro a quick smile. Shiro returns it and hands him a few books, and Keith spends the next few weeks cramming and training, barely getting any sleep. Keith gets the highest score for agility on the test and he finds himself on a train with kids doing magic across the cars, trying not to hear conversations a town away. His future is at the Garrison as a spy with Shiro, not in the magic that had him left alone over and over again.

* * *

  Lance counts down the days until he starts at the Garrison on his calendar, spending the summer honing his shapeshifting skills. Lance wants to come in ahead of his classmates, after all, not behind like he’s terrified he might be. Most people coming into the Garrison are star pupils, number one in their class in every area and recommended by like, six teachers. That’s not Lance’s story. He’s been recommended by about two and he was always second, even in the classes he excelled in, to his endless frustration.

  But he’s not going to be anymore. Lance is going to be the best damn shapeshifter and one of the best paladins this school has ever seen, and someday, he’ll help save the world. He just needs a little more practice first. He’s mastered shifting into his family and Hunk and most of the people he knows and – Once, just once so far, he made a shadowy Lance next himself, an illusion that flickers into life and looks so real for a second it shocks him.

  Lance’s powers aren’t just getting more refined, they’re getting stronger and for the first time in years Lance feels something like confidence in his powers. Still, it’s so small, so brief, Lance decides to keep it to himself. He hasn’t even told Hunk yet, even though he knows Hunk would be pumped for him. Lance just … he just wants to make sure he can do it again first before he shows anyone. Feels important.

  But right now, that’s for another day, because he’s walking on the cobblestone walkway of the Garrison and all of his dreams are about to come true.

  “Hunk, look around, because this is our future,” Lance calls to Hunk as he turns around in a circle, spinning his blue suitcase around with him as he glances at the series of buildings, all varying sized grey and white towers with grass courtyards between them, filled with students showing off their powers or making out. A lot of people are making out and Lance turns his gaze away from them after a beat, because he feels a little awkward staring. Maybe it’ll feel different when he’s in their place in a few weeks.

  Lance turns his gaze over to the main campus hub, where their team and room assignments wait for them, the only building that’s a dome, the grey a shade darker than the dorms and class buildings. it’s kind of intimidating.

  “I wish it was less grey,” Hunk mutters as he drags his yellow and orange suitcase behind him, staring up at the building with a small frown. Hunk’s grip on the handle of his suitcase is growing tighter with every passing second and Lance can’t really blame him. As excited as he is, his nerves are almost back to where they were when he said goodbye to his parents at the train station (The Garrison doesn’t let parents see their kids to campus, only students and staff are allowed in, which yeah, Lance won’t lie, it’s a little terrifying). These buildings are kind of creepy.

  “I’m sure it’s snazzier on the inside, I mean look at what Shiro wears,” Lance reminds him as he looks up to see the man he’s talking about on a sign, trying to keep the mood light. Besides, he does have a point. How cold could a school be if they let their biggest star walk around in a costume that included black combat boots with glowing violet laces, black plants that Lance swears glimmer in the right light. And those lead up to a violet long-sleeved top, along with a black fingerless glove with three violet jewels embedded inside to match the ones on his prosthetic arm (Lance has heard those ones can shoot lasers, but he’s never actually seen Shiro do that on TV) topped off with a black vest with a ridiculously high collar. And that’s not even getting to his hair. “Oh wow, they have a poster of Shiro.”

  “He’s training a team this year,” Hunk says with a shrug as he keeps walking forward toward the dome. Lance stops mid-step, staring blankly at Hunk’s back as Hunk keeps going forward as though he hadn’t just rocked Lance’s world. Takashi Shirogane, his _idol_ might be his team leader, his teacher, his mentor?

  “What?!” Lance shouts as he finally regains the ability to speak, running after Hunk and waving one arm through the air. Lance stares at Hunk, eyes wide and lips pressed into a thin line as he realizes the other half of this issue. Hunk knows how awesome he thinks Shiro the Hero is, and he clearly knew he was teaching a training team here (and okay, maybe Lance should too, but who reads all of the info in the acceptance packet anyway). “You knew and didn’t tell me?”

  “I didn’t wanna freak you out, but then he was on a poster,” Hunk tells him with a sheepish smile as he points up at the poster he’d just stared at, Shiro’s smiling face staring back down at them. Lance has to admit he probably would have, because he is right now.

  Lance stares up at Shiro and then turns his gaze as they come up to the dome and the wall of assignments, Lance glancing over to the ‘R’ where his own name will be. Suddenly all of this feels a lot realer. After today, he and Hunk will be training for their entire future, for the fate of the universe. And what if Lance doesn’t measure up to someone like Shiro? Or what if there’s a dozen other Shiro’s in their class? “What if we’re on his squad?”

  “What if we’re not on the same squad?” Hunk asks in a small voice as he takes a few steps toward the ‘T’ for his own surname, glancing back at Lance with a small frown. And while smaller than the fate of the universe, that was still another fear that made Lance want to turn back and catch the train home for a minute.

  “… That’s not gonna happen, we’re a team,” Lance insists after a second, shaking his head a little as he smirks over at Hunk, faking confidence he doesn’t feel. They’d included all the reasons they should be kept on a team together in their application essays, but that doesn’t mean the Garrison listened. “I guess we’ll find out.”

  Hunk walks over to the T as Lance forces himself to the R’s, searching for his own name and sighing when it’s at the top of the wall. Of course. Hunk’s must be in arm’s reach, because he’s waving over at Lance with a wide grin and Lance feels a burst in relief. They must be together, going by Hunk’s excited yell. “Lance!”

  “What are we – “Lance starts as he grabs his own name, and sees the list of names and powers, searching out his and Hunk’s before looking at the rest. The one at the top sticks out, Lance dashing to Hunk’s side and grabbing his arm. Hunk nods with a small smile, as though telling Lance to get it all out. Lance takes the opportunity, voice growing louder with each word. “Oh my God, we’re training with Takashi Shirogane! Shiro the hero. Hunk this is the best day of my life. Hunk?”

  Hunk’ smile quickly turns into a tight frown as he stares at one of the names on the list, brushing his finger over it. “We have a non-magic user on our team.”

  “Like a doctor?” Lance asks as he glances down at the name. Keith Song. Weapons expert. Lance’s first thought is that seems a little premature since he’s only a first year too, like, calm down Garrison. The second is that this guy is going to have weapons that affect his magic, might even be able to null it entirely depending on how and where Lance gets hit, and yeah, Lance is suddenly a lot less excited. “Oh, Like an anti-magic weapon user. So, our powers are going to be muted in training or what?”

  “Hard to tell?” Hunk answers with a small sigh, eyebrows scrunching together as he glances at the name. then Hunk looks away, trying to grin even though Lance can tell that he’s in for a lengthy and detailed speech later about all the pros and cons of having an anti-magic person on their team. Hunk’s rants are nothing if not thorough. “Well, I mean, we knew they trained them here.”

  “Yeah, but I didn’t think we’d be on a team with one, I kind of thought they worked on their own,” Lance admits with a small wince, because on TV shows the anti-magic user is usually a loner or a spy, not wanting to accidentally hurt the heroes by getting too close or whatever. They weren’t just right there in the middle of the action. Lance’s eyebrows slope down as he bites his lip. He doesn’t want to worry about being made _literally_ useless along with feeling that way. “I mean, I’m sure they’ll be great. I just, with all those anti-magic weapons – “

  “There are as many magic users to fight too,” Hunk says with a low sigh, shaking his head a little as he seems to consider all the different types of enemies they’ll have in a few years. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m not like, not worried, but I’m sure they gotta like, have them meet with a telepath or something.”

  “I mean, we didn’t so that would be unfair,” Lance points out as he shakes his head, because while he’s worried about his own failings as a fighter being revealed by this dude, he doesn’t deserve to be treated any differently just because he doesn’t have magic or because his works differently or whatever. “I’m sure whoever it is will be fine though. You have to have someone to level the field. Besides we can worry about Keith Song later, right now let’s find our room.”

  Lance turns and almost bumps into a confused looking boy around his age, and he puts on his most flirtatious smile because this kid is cute. He’s got a mole on one corner of a jawline and another by his right eye. He’s got huge grey eyes and sharp cheekbones all framed by thick black hair tied back into a messy bun. That face leads down to slim but muscular shoulders, with an oversized red sweater that’s sliding off his right one. The other boy mutters a quick apology and moves toward the S’s, but he glances back at Lance for a second before Hunk pulls him away.

  Looks like Lance was worried for nothing, because things are already looking up.

* * *

 Keith’s anxiety spikes about the same time he gets off the train and everyone else meets up with either new or old friends, making it painfully clear that he has no one. It’s like every first day of school since he was 10, except somehow worse. Maybe he should’ve asked Shiro to meet him at the station. But no, he’s 18 now, he doesn’t need anyone to rely on. Hell, he didn’t when he was 11. Shiro came along when he was 14, and that’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to him, but Keith is his protégé, not his little brother. He needs to prove to Shiro he was worth the effort, that he can handle the mission.

  The mission. When Keith first started repressing his powers and learning about anti-magic, it was to make up for his mother’s crimes in some way, to prove he isn’t like her. That’s still a big part of it, but Keith also wants to protect people. He’s seen the damage people, magic and otherwise, are causing, the injustice. If Keith can do something to stop that, then he has to be a part of that. Keith knows a lot of anti-magic users are sent on the most dangerous missions, he saw the news reports on Thace’s and Antok’s death. Keith’s not afraid of that, he’s not afraid of dying if it means everyone else will survive. But the loneliness of that … well Keith pushes the thought away and pushes toward the dome. Loneliness is a fact of life and besides, he’ll still have Shiro.

  Keith turns on his heel, looking for the ‘S’ and suddenly finds himself almost nose to nose with a complete stranger. Keith’s eyes widen before he can stop himself, taking in the sparkling blue eyes and light spread of freckles across the other boy’s nose. He has short hair with a hint of curl, bouncing slightly as he takes a step back from Keith. Keith’s gaze drops to his lips, full and pulled into a smile so bright Keith almost wants to look away, and so he does, down to the other boy’s lean but muscular arms. He wonders if he uses swords too.

  Then Keith remembers he needs to grab his name from the wall and scurries to the S, glancing back at the other man, almost against his will. Keith knows he’s being an idiot, because chances are he’s never going to see that kid again. He’ll be training to be a spy, and a guy like that, with an equally handsome friend (or boyfriend) dragging him towards the doors, will be on a team. That’s just how things are. Keith reaches out and grabs his name, just as he feels a firm hand land on his right shoulder.

  “Shiro! You’re here? I thought you didn’t need to come for a few days,” Keith murmurs as he turns on his heel, smiling softly as he meets his friend’s gaze. Shiro came to meet him after all. Keith takes a step away from the wall and hoard of other students seeking their assignments and room numbers, Shiro following him as he pulls his hand back with a quick nod. He knows Keith doesn’t do well in crowds. He just doesn’t know all the reasons why.

  “I came early to get settled, besides you might need help unpacking or meeting the people you’re going to be working with,” Shiro tells him with a small smirk, a knowing twinkle in his eye as he glances down at the paper crushed in his left hand. Keith’s face lights up, a quick grin coming over his face as he glances back down at the paper. It looks like Shiro’s going to be his handler during his spy work after all.

  “Right,” Keith mutters as he glances down at the paper, grin quickly fading back into his usual scowl as he reads the assignment. It’s clearly a computer error, so he might not be with Shiro after all. Not if Shiro’s training a team too.

  “Keith? Are you okay? You seem a little anxious,” Shiro says in a calm voice, brow furrowed as he leans in toward him slightly. Keith bites his lip, not wanting to hear how he’s not going to work with Shiro just yet, but knowing he needs to fix things fast. Keith’s not a team player and he’s definitely not likable enough for all the attention that comes with being on a Paladin team. Keith knows his strengths and skills, that’s why he applied to be a spy in the first place. Anyone who's read his file’s going to agree.

  “Shiro, something’s wrong with my assignment,” Keith murmurs with a tight frown as he glances down at the paper again, shaking his head a little bit as he tries to get his emotions under control. He can hear a conversation between a brother and sister about nanobots that’s at least a couple of yards away because the train’s in the background, and he can taste the cinnamon from a girl’s bagel a few feet away. That’s not good. Keith takes a few deep breaths and waits for his senses to dull to (what he decided is probably) normal before he looks back at Shiro.

  Shiro raises an eyebrow before taking a quick look at the paper in Keith’s hand. Keith expects his eyes to light up in shock, but all Shiro does is furrow his brow more and give Keith a look of confusion. Maybe he only saw his own name on the paper? “What are you talking about?”

  “I think they gave me someone else’s by mistake, I can probably go to the Dean to get him to fix it,” Keith tells him with a shrug, because if Shiro isn’t going to read the entire sheet to see the issue, Keith isn’t going to wait around for him to do it. He needs to fix this right away before some poor sap ends up way over their head in spy training and his own time is wasted with a team he’s not going to work with long-term anyway.

  Shiro gives him a tight stare, and now the surprise is coming into his gaze. Keith sees his jaw clench a little, and yeah, Shiro’s got it. “Keith – “

  But Keith just weaves him off, already darting back into the crowd, careful to make sure his duffle bag doesn’t hit anyone. Keith knows Dean Coran’s office is inside the dome to the left, and he’s sure once he shows the man the mistake, everything will get fixed. Better to be proactive than wait around.

  “Excuse me? Dean Coran?” Keith says as he reaches the open door to the left of him, a man with a vivid orange mustache and intense grin staring back at him. Keith blinks owlishly, leaning around the wall to make sure he has the right room. Yup. They make Dean Coran him look a lot more intimidating on the brochures.

  “Yes?” The dean calls, glancing over at him and raising one eyebrow. Keith eventually slumps into the room, leaning against a chair for a few seconds while the man stares at it pointedly. Keith lets out a small sigh before sitting down and crossing his arms tightly against his chest, as Coran glances over a list of what Keith assumes is names and photos, because a second later he holds out a hand with a wide grin. “Oh, you’re Keith Song, I’ve heard a lot about you from Shiro. Is there an issue with your dorm room – “

  “I haven’t been there yet, I’m sure it’s fine,” Keith answers with a shrug, shaking Coran’s hand firmly as he glances down at the table. He’s not here for small talk and besides, his room can’t be any worse than it was where he was staying before. “Look, I got someone else’s training assignment.”

  “Oh dear, well we’ve all grabbed the wrong ones from the wall before, it’s an easy mistake to make, I’m sure no one will be upset if you just pin it back up,” Coran tells him with a warm smile, letting out a small chuckle like that problem happens every year. Keith is flustered though, biting his lip as he rubs his fingers over his thumb and tries to regain his cool even as he can suddenly see each individual hair on Dean Coran’s arm.

  “No – I mean they put the name wrong with the wrong assignment,” Keith explains as he throws his arm out, voice coming out slightly strained as Dean Coran’s expression stills, turning into the more serious one Keith knows from the brochure. Keith isn’t trying to get anyone fired here, he just wants his real assignment. Keith slides him his paper with a small shrug. “I’m sure it was just a typo – “

  “Oh, that’s no mistake, my boy, that’s the team we’ve assigned you on,” Coran says as he glances down at the paper, giving a quick decisive nod. “It’s one of the best training teams I’ve put together in years, I must say.”

  “But I’m not supposed to be on a team!” Keith snaps, voice rising as he bunches one hand into a fist, the room around him slowing to a crawl. Keith takes a deep breath, trying to get himself under control and his senses back to something bordering on manageable so he can make Dean Coran understand. “I’m sorry, but I don’t work well with others, I’m more useful to the Garrison as a spy – “

  “Based on your record, I don’t agree and neither did Shiro,” Coran murmurs in a gentle voice, giving him a softer smile this time. Keith freezes, hands going lax as he stares back at Coran. Shiro knew and Shiro agreed to this? But that doesn’t make any sense! He knows what Keith – why would he got behind his back like this? “I know it can be hard to adjust to new circumstances, but how about we give it a few weeks before you switch? Or at least until after you’ve met your teammates? They’re right there, in fact?”

  “What?!” Keith cries, eyes widening as he turns to the door and finds the boy from outside and his friend, both of them staring back at him with sheepish expressions. Keith has the sinking feeling they’ve been there for longer than Keith would like. “Hi.”


	2. Awkward Encounters

Keith stares as the boy in blue and the boy in yellow start whispering to each other, exchanging raised eyebrows and meaningful looks that speak to a long, rich history. Keith has to admit he’s a little jealous. He’s not sure he has that with anyone, not even Shiro. it’s also kind of rude since they’re acting like he and Coran aren’t even there, but then Keith doesn’t want to be there, so he can’t really blame them for that either. Keith takes a deep breath and glances back at Dean Coran, who is looking between them with a thoughtful twinkle in his gaze. Keith doesn’t think that’s going to go well for him.  

  Coran gestures at the two boys, waving them toward the door. Fuck. Keith doesn’t need to meet the people he’s asking to reject. He doesn’t want to – he’s not trying to cause any hurt feelings here. He just wants to be a spy like he asked and learn how to ride a dragon. He doesn’t think that’s a lot to ask. The boy in blue bites his lip, long fingers – nice, soft but with a few callouses – reach toward the knob. Maybe he’s going to pull the door shut because he can see the anxiety in Keith’s face and he realizes Dean Coran is making a mistake. Instead, he and the boy in yellow walk through the door, both of them giving him a considering gaze Keith isn’t sure he likes.

  “Wait, Keith? Keith Song?” The boy in blue asks as he glances over at Keith with a small frown, eyebrows scrunching together as though trying to remember why he knows the name. Keith hopes he doesn’t, that Coran mistook him for someone else too. Then the boy in blue suddenly smiles, bright and wide, jabbing one finger out toward Keith. Keith can’t quite stop himself from flinching back a little, because his hand is way too close to Keith’s face. Probably.  “You’re the anti-magic guy!”

  “I – yeah,” Keith mutters after a second, nodding a little so a few of his bangs fall across his face. The way the boy in blue says anti-magic isn’t making Keith think he’s going to be very popular around the Garrison. Good. He doesn’t need the distraction of trying to make friends. Not when he has a mission he needs to focus on and when that’s gone terribly with everyone except Shiro anyway. And even if this boy in blue is … okay, Keith does want to stop calling him that in his head. “Who are you?”

  “Lance Ramirez, apparently your new teammate,” Lance says with a shrug, grin growing a little tighter as he gives Keith a quick once over. Keith wonders if he’s looking for weapons. Keith doesn’t have any on him, but he can’t help but bring one gloved hand up to brush against his mother’s necklace nervously. It’s the only hint – not that anyone here would know it – that Keith always has a weapon with him, is the weapon.

  “And I’m Hunk,” Hunk tells him a moment later, no longer the boy in yellow. He gives him a quick, frown, gaze narrowing in a way that makes Keith cross his arms against his chest tightly. He hasn’t even done anything yet, so he has no idea why this kid is looking at him like that. Keith can’t stop himself from glaring, both of the other boys taking a step back and away from him. “I thought anti-magic people were usually by themselves. No offense, you seem … kind of angry?”

  “See, they don’t want me on the team either!” Keith yells, half in annoyance and half in triumph as he throws his hands up in the air pointedly. Dean Coran gazes up at the ceiling, expression surprisingly neutral as he considers the situation. Keith feels a little bad using these two strangers’ fear of anti-magic to his benefit, but they’re the ones who have an issue with it which is unfair anyway and Keith would be using anti-magic weapons if he was on their team, so in the long run he’s helping out everyone.

  Lance bites his lip and shakes his head, gaze growing sheepish as though he just realizes the implications of his tone. That’s not going to help Keith here. Keith gives him a slightly weaker glare, vision going hazy the way it does every time he lies and feels bad about it, which is well. A lot since his whole life is half of a lie. “Well I wouldn’t say that – “

  “And I’d be terrible on one,” Keith continues, shooting the other two boys a small, crooked smile, because this is Keith’s problem and it wasn’t fair of him (or Dean Coran) to get them involved. Focusing on his own flaws and skillset is going to be what gets him out of this. Keith’s voice grows a little harsher as he meets Dean Coran’s gaze, crossing his arms again as he leans toward the table and tries to make the man see reason. “Look, you read my files.”

  “Yes, I did,” Coran says evenly, tone giving away nothing as he holds said file up. Keith stares at it and wonders what Shiro, what his old school and foster parents, and the police, all wrote about him. Keith can’t imagine it’s flattering outside of Shiro. he’s always been the problem child, but he’s not a kid anymore. Keith needs to grow up and devote himself to the mission, and he can’t do that on a team. He knows that in his veins. This isn’t just about not wanting people to recognize he has powers, Keith doesn’t even think this is even mostly about that for once. And even now, when he’s trying to do the right thing for everyone, he’s still the mistake and -

  “… Can we leave?” Hunk asks suddenly, voice weak as he gives Keith a look that’s more concerned than judgmental this time. Keith really doesn’t want to know what expression is on his face right now, though he can guess by the way every color is suddenly more vibrant, every sound a thousand times louder. It’s awful. Dean Coran just shakes his head at Hunk, smiling beatifically as though any of this isn’t awkward or bad.

  “Look, my skills are wasted on a team. No offense,” Keith mutters in a low voice, taking a few deep breaths and reminding himself of what Shiro used to tell him in training. Patience equals focus. He can do this, he can stay calm and be rational and logically explain why Coran is making a mistake. He doesn’t have to be an issue if he doesn’t want to be. It’s all about burying himself. “I’m a good fighter, I’m fast and agile, I’m very quiet, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes for the mission.”

  “Yes, all of that is true,” Coran agrees with a placid smile, gesturing toward the file with a small cock of his head, as though to remind Keith he read it and knows all of this and still doesn’t think he’s good enough to be a spy. That makes Keith’s blood start to boil.

  “So, you know I should be a spy and not wasting away on some training team,” Keith snaps before he can stop himself, forming one hand into a fist he waves in the air, though he stops himself before he hits the smooth white wood of Coran’s desk. His reflexes are just a little faster than they should be. Keith prays no one notices.

  “Hey, our team is going to be awesome!” Lance calls out, voice slightly irritated as he points at Keith again, eyebrows sloping down and together. He looks insulted and Keith isn’t sure why. He never said their team wouldn’t be awesome, he just said he didn’t want to be a part of it.

  “Shiro and I don’t agree,” Coran tells him in a soft voice as he catches Keith’s gaze, eyes apologetic and hopeful at the same time. Keith stiffens, arms falling to his sides at Coran’s words. Shiro doesn’t think he has what it takes to be a spy. Shiro who made him believe he could come here in the first place, that there was still some good left in him, something that could be the hero he wanted to be as a kid. And Shiro doesn’t think he has that in him – or if he does, he thinks it needs to be monitored by a bunch of strangers or – Keith takes a few deep breaths because he can see each individual hair on Lance’s head. They’re a little wavy up close. “Give the team a chance, you might find that you enjoy the camaraderie more than you expect.”

  “Shiro knew about this?” Keith asks in a small voice even though he knows in his gut it’s true. Dean Coran doesn’t strike him as a liar, and Keith’s instincts are screaming that he’s telling the truth. Coran’s small but decisive nod is just the confirmation Keith needs to justify pushing himself out of the chair and walking toward the door on auto-pilot, sparing a quick nod at the other two boys that he hopes seems, if not friendly, then at least not angry. He’s not mad at them.

  He’s only mad at Shiro.

  Though by the time he gets down the hallway and toward the dorm Shiro said he’s staying in, Keith isn’t mad at Shiro anymore. Well, not just Shiro. Keith’s mad at himself too. He knows Shiro would’ve recommended him for a spy training position if he thought he was capable of it. That means Keith’s done something, shown some weakness or failing that made Shiro think he isn’t good enough to go out on his own. Keith just wishes he knows what he’d done to lose Shiro’s good faith and why Shiro didn’t just tell him he wasn’t going to recommend him as a spy from the start.

  Keith reaches the dorm, one of the many look alike white and grey buildings dotting the campus and pushes his way through the hallway. He has no idea what face he’s making, but he knows it’s one of his scarier ones by the way the other students split down the hallway, giving him as much berth as they can given the small space. He’s already making friends everywhere he goes.

  Keith gently reaches out a fist and then freezes, anxiety overcoming him because what if the answer isn’t something he wants to hear? He knows Shiro isn’t mad at him – he saw him an hour ago – but that only makes Keith more confused. Eventually Keith takes a deep breath and knocks against the smooth white wood, biting his lip when the door swings open to reveal a familiar bit of white and black bangs and warm grey eyes. “Shiro? Can I come in?”

  “Of course,” Shiro calls as he takes a step back, opening the door wider so Keith can step inside. Shiro walks across the room to sit on the end of his bed, black comforter peeled back a little to reveal the purple sheets underneath. Shiro pats the bed to the right of him, but Keith paces across the room instead, arms crossed and frowning tightly as he meets Shiro’s gaze. “I’m guessing Coran told you the assignment wasn’t wrong.”

  “You knew how much I wanted to be a spy! Why would you – Coran said – I don’t understand,” Keith spits out before he can stop himself, hating how childish he sounds. He’s an adult now, he should be able to fix this or accept it with grace or – something besides this.

  “I put in a good word for you,” Shiro assures him in a soft voice, gaze growing a little softer as Keith stills. Was his record from his old schools really that bad? Keith got in a few fights, but most of them weren’t his fault and it’s been years since his last one and - “Just for a team.”

  Oh.

  “Why?!” Keith cries as he takes a step toward Shiro, crossing his arms a little tighter as he glares up at the other man. Shiro is supposed to be his best friend, his mentor, and he’s not supporting Keith’s dreams and actively going against them? And okay, Keith knows Shiro’s never been as okay with him being a spy as Keith wanted, but … Keith thought he’d get over it. Keith feels some of his anger deflate into hurt and confusion as he takes a few steps toward the bed, arms loosening a little, so he can rub his thumb nervously.

  “I think you’ll do better on team,” Shiro says calmly as he pats the space on the bed next to him again, gaze growing firmer and a little stern. They’re about to have a serious discussion. Great. Keith sighs and sits down with a low groan, glancing up at Shiro as he waits for the answer he doesn’t want to hear about how he’s impulsive or not skilled enough or one of the other million problems that makes Shiro think he’s not good enough to strike out on his own. “Life isn’t all about the mission, Keith. I think making more connections – more friends – will be good for your work as a paladin.”

  “I don’t want to be a paladin and I don’t need more friends,” Keith mutters, barely managing not to roll his eyes. They’re here to learn how to be protectorates, soldiers, not how to make friends. Besides, Keith does fine on his own and with Shiro. He doesn’t need more than that.

  “Look Keith, I think learning to work on a team will help your work as a paladin,” Shiro explains in the same fixed tone from before, not letting Keith look away from him. Then his gaze grows a little warmer in a way that Keith should find comforting but doesn’t. Shiro’s voice is low and soft when he speaks. “And maybe seeing other people embrace their powers could be a help too.”

  Keith feels his stomach drop as Shiro’s words roll over in his mind, gaze going blank figuratively and literally as the bile rises in his throat. He swears he can taste each individual acid. Shiro knows what he is, what he can do, that he’s magic. “When did you figure it out?”

  “A few months ago,” Shiro admits with a low sigh as he reaches a hand out and presses it against Keith’s shoulder, squeezing down slightly as Keith closes his eyes. He takes a few deep breaths and tries to center himself, to blot out the white noise buzzing through his ears and the suddenly too itchy, too there feel of Shiro’s comforter and just focus on the weight of his friend’s hand on his shoulder. It almost works. “Keith – “

  “Can we do this later?” Keith asks quietly, one hand sliding from his chest to fist into Shiro’s sheets. He knows Shiro isn’t mad he kept this from him, won’t force him to use his powers or give up his weapons unless they became too painful for him to use. But Keith thinks he and Shiro’s definition of ‘too’ probably isn’t the same, going by the quiet worried looks Shiro’s been giving his every wince and grunt the past few months. And here Keith just thought Shiro was disappointed in reflexes.

  “Okay,” Shiro tells him softly as he squeezes his shoulder again. They sit there together for a while, no one saying anything and Keith reveling in the silence and nothingness that consumes him. Then Shiro mentions training and everything comes back into bitter technicolor as Keith shakes his head and Shiro lets out an exasperated sigh. Keith isn’t – won’t ever be – ready for to train with his powers, and he doesn’t know how they overcome that.

* * *

  Lance walks into his new dorm, glancing over at Hunk as they take into the two full sized beds against either wall of the light gray walls, a slight shimmer that makes them look shimmer in the bright light of the morning. Lance has to admit it’s pretty cool looking and definitely gives the room a ‘super’ feeling. The floorboards are a russet shade, and Lance glances down at them wondering what shade of rug he and Hunk should get. Lance glances over at the beds, one by a window and the other close to a door Lance assumes leads to the kitchen and bathroom area they’re sharing with whoever lives across the hall. Lance hopes they’re friendly, though he guesses they can’t be any less friendly than his own (maybe) future teammates.

  Keith Song, a face so pretty for a boy so angry and desperate to get away from him (and okay, the whole concept of a team, but Lance couldn’t help but take it a little personally). Lance hadn’t been thrilled by the idea of working with an anti-magic weapons user, but he’s been working on getting over it before now.

  “So, Keith seems sunny,” Lance mumbles as he sits down on the bed by the window when he sees Hunk glancing subtly over at the one closer to the wall, which was slightly higher up for more storage space. Hunk brought a lot of books and Lance likes a good view. The view outside is off the courtyard, a few pine trees outside his window and a small pond just visible between them. It’s very scenic.

  “I mean, I think we caught him at a bad time,” Hunk throws out and Lance blinks owlishly before he remembers they’re talking about their maybe teammate. Lance immediately stiffens, one hand sliding to his hip as he sits down on the bed. Right, Keith, the kid who rejected them for no reason. Hunk just shrugs as he sits on his own bed, lugging his suitcase up with him. “Maybe he’s really friendly when he’s not trying to quit our team.”

  “Why would he want to quit anyway, he hadn’t even met us?” Lance asks with a low scoff, and he feels his blood rush with heat as he watches a few new freckles appear and disappear on his skin. He has no idea why this whole deal with Keith annoys him, other than that something about, everything about it felt off. Also, Lance wants to have the best hero team at the Garrison, and that’s gonna be … difficult if one person doesn’t want to be on the team. How are they even gonna come up with a team cheer? Though who knows, maybe Keith will get replaced by some random magic user and Lance will never see his pretty face and terrifying glare ever again.

  “I mean, it sounded like he wanted to be a spy, I don’t think it was like, personal,” Hunk says with a small chuckle, leaning back against the wall as he separates a few of his sweaters and T-shirts. He doesn’t seem nearly as bothered by this Keith situation as Lance is. Maybe he’s overreacting.

  “Yeah, no, I know, and I guess we didn’t exactly want him on our team either,” Lance sighs because they hadn’t exactly been subtle between Hunk straight out calling him angry and their fear of anti-magic. Maybe, if Keith’s still on their team, it’ll turn out they all just got off on the wrong foot. Except, Keith was also yelling at the dean on the first day like he wants to be expelled or like he’s so arrogant that he doesn’t think he can be. Either way, Lance can’t say that he’s a fan. “But he was also like, heatedly arguing with the dean. Who does that?”

  “Keith Song, apparently,” Hunk snorts as he shakes his head a little as he starts folding his clothes. He seems as amused as he does nervous, and okay, Lance has to admit that it’s a little funny. But still.

  “Yeah, I dunno, do we need that kind of heat on our team? I’d rather have someone a little … cooler,” Lance mutters with a low sigh, shaking his head a bit He pulls on one of his sleeves, the gold shimmering in the sunlight, offset by the silver of the walls. There’s something nice about the way the two colors contrast each other, the warm heat of the gold tempered by the bright coolness of the silver. Lance watches as his hand flashes a slight lilac that fades away after a few seconds.

  “Your hair is blue,” Hunk points out after a beat, glancing over at him out of the corner of his eye. Lance takes a deep breath, holding up his phone so he can see himself in his camera. The electric blue is pretty blinding. Lance tries to remember what mood blue usually means, but honestly his instinctive shifting isn’t that consistent anyway.

  “Well, then I guess that made my point,” Lance groans as he leans over on his bed, smiling a bit as Hunk laughs at his joke, loud and warm and filling the room in a way that makes some of Lance’s anxiety fade a bit. If there’s one thing in the world he can count on, it’s Hunk. But Lance needs to be able to count on his powers too, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths until when he opens his eyes his hair is brown again. Only for a moment though, before it turns into a bright orange as he grows several inches, hair taking on the same flaming color as Dean Coran’s face stares back at him. Then the mustache fades as his skin tone changes, a small scar blossoming across his face as his hair turns black and white, a buzz cut on the sides. Shiro. Then he shrinks down to a little shorter than himself, black hair spreading out around his neck in a pseudo mullet as his eyes grow larger and face narrower.

  This one isn’t as clear, face wavering as Lance tries to remember the details of Keith’s face, the shape of his jaw, before it slides back into his own. He’ll need to study Keith more before he can shapeshift into him. Hunk clears his throat, and Lance looks over his shoulder to meet his friend’s questioning gaze. “What are you doing?”

  “Practicing, we can’t have my hair changing colors in the middle of a battle or a spy mission, that isn’t gonna work out for anyone,” Lance says with a small shrug, trying to keep his tone light as he leans back against his pillows. Lance has great control over his powers for limited amounts of time. He knows he’s not actually behind for his age group. But the Garrison calls for better than that and well, Lance wants to be the best.

  “Lance, you know your powers are really awesome, right?” Hunk asks softly as he leans toward him, sliding his hands under his chin and pressing his forearms against his thighs to prop his chin up. Lance bristles, because he wishes Hunk didn’t know his tells so well.

  “Not if I can’t figure out how to use them in a fight,” Lance answers after a beat as he glances down at the white sheets of his bed. He’ll need to replace them with some color soon, get some life in this room. He can feel Hunk’s gaze still on him and he takes a deep breath and gives the boy a weak smile. It’s true, shapeshifting is a fun power, a good party trick, but it’s not exactly going to protect anyone from getting hit by lightning or an anti-magic weapon either. Not the way Hunk turning his arm into a sword or Shiro using his super strength might.

  “Your magic is pretty advanced,” Hunk reminds him with a small grin, rolling to his feet and crossing the short distance to Lance’s bed, sitting on the edge of it as he reaches a hand out and slides it across Lance’s shoulder. Lance lets himself lean into the touch, even though Hunk’s words only bring his insecurities more to the surface. Pretty advanced isn’t really cutting it now that they’re here and not just in high school anymore. Lance knows Hunk knows that deep down.

  “Not as advanced as yours or Allura, going by our group stats,” Lance says with a low sigh, glancing over at the papers waiting for them in their room. He’s read about everyone else on the team, done his best to match powers and names to faces. But he couldn’t help also seeing where everyone stacked up and noticing that he came in second or third every time. Not bad in theory, but in the end, it means he’s dead last overall. Someone or multiple someone’s are better than him in every area. “And Pidge has a bunch of raw power and – “

  “You’re worrying too much about this, Lance, your powers are unique like you,” Hunk tells him with a shake of his head, patting him on the shoulder again. There’s no lie in his gaze, mouth pressed into a firm line. Lance really, really wants to believe Hunk about this, believe he might be important and useful, but also, Hunk’s really biased as his best friend.

  ‘Yeah, maybe,” Lance mumbles as he holds up his phone again, staring at the smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes as he feels Hunk pull away from him. His grin grows a little brighter as he sees his friend’s face reflected back at him for a second, earning a chortle from the boy next to him. They could make this work. “But practicing never hurt anyone.”

  Lance practices for another twenty minutes before deciding to check out their bathroom, finding a single red towel bunched into the corner of the rack, as though whoever put it there doesn’t want to take up too much space. Lance reminds himself to assure his roommate he and Hunk don’t care how much space he uses when they finally meet. Lance takes a luxurious shower, washing away all his insecurities and frustrations for a minute and just reveling in the feel of the spray against his skin. Sometimes he really wonders how he ended up with shapeshifting instead of water manipulation as his power.

  By the time he finishes his shower and slides into his favorite blue robe, Hunk’s already dressed in the grey cat suit with yellow lines that form a pattern down his thighs and forearms. Hunk looks awesome, strong and handsome with just the right amount of brightness from the yellow. Lance worries he’ll look more like a grey stick in his own suit. Lance slides it on, pulling on his boots and taking a quick look in the mirror.

  Luckily, Lance likes the way the glowing sky-blue lines highlight the muscles in his arms and legs, some relief hitting him as Hunk starts to open their door. Right. It’s time to meet the rest of their team. Lance takes a deep breath and hopes they have the same view of his powers as Hunk and starts down the hallway.

  Lance finds himself in a large, empty gym surrounded by his new and Dean Coran, who’s smiling so widely that Lance thinks his face must be in constant pain. Lance glances over at girl closest to him, her waist length braid a blinding white and her blue eyes gazing across at them considering, her own suit’s lines a light pink. Allura, going by the photos in his file. Allura’s one of the most beautiful people Lance has ever seen in and even prettier in person. Lance bites back a sigh as he turns his gaze to a much shorter girl with huge glasses and a bright grin, her hair in a brown pseudo bob with the edges sticking up a little. Pidge Gunderson. Next to her is Keith, his own suit lined with red because of course it is, his own hair tied back in a loose, short ponytail and expression even tighter than it was a few hours ago. Great.

  Shiro is nowhere to be seen and Lance can’t pretend he’s not a little disappointed, because that’s who he wanted to meet, but Allura and Pidge seem pretty excited to be on the team, at least.

  “Welcome to your first day of training! I’m Dean Coran and you can call me Coran, though I’ve met most of you before,” Coran calls as he glances across the room with a bright smile, nodding at each of them. Lance returns his smile with an equally dazzling one of his own, hoping to make up for any awkwardness from before. He doesn’t need to be on the dean’s bad side yet. Then Coran takes another step toward Allura, sliding a hand to her shoulder and beaming at everyone in the room. “In fact, Allura is my daughter!”

  “Father!” Allura cries, flushing lightly as she looks down at the floor in embarrassment. She was the dean’s daughter? No wonder she has so much training experience, she grew up here around the best fighters in the world. Lance doesn’t know if that makes him more relieved about his own lesser prowess or even more intimidated by the blushing girl in front of him. Allura looks up at them, smiling awkwardly as she waves. “Hello, I’m pleased to meet you all. I’m Allura Altea.”

  “Wait, does that mean your dad is Alfor, the original paladin?” Pidge asks as she raises an eyebrow, and suddenly the last name clicks for Lance too. Altea. The first paladins. The people who made magic users into heroes. Rumored to be related to royalty. Lance’s eyebrows shoot to his forehead for a second, sharing a quick glance with Hunk, who’s scrunching his eyebrows together thoughtfully. Pidge smirks, drawing Lance’s attention back to her. “I’m Pidge Holt, by the way.”

  “Yes, he is, alongside my mother and … Zarkon,” Allura murmurs, voice trailing off at the mention of Zarkon’s name, gaze dropping to the floor. Coran looks away as well and a heavy silence falls over the room. Zarkon the betrayer, the first paladin to turn to the dark side and by far the most successful. He’s still out there running an evil empire. Lance has even read fanfic about it before. Zarkon is the darkness in the shadows, the blade in the hilt, the … many other metaphors for someone dangerous.

  “Not everyone with powers turns out to be a good guy,” Keith mutters in a low voice as he crosses his arms, gaze growing harder as he stares off into the distance. Lance blinks a little, biting his lip at his words and shaking his head. Lance knows he should just let this go, but he just can’t.  

  “What, you think people with powers are bad or something?” Lance asks as he glances over at Keith with a tight frown, voice rising a little as Keith’s eyes widen. Surely, he couldn’t have missed how well, bad he just made the rest of them sound. Not all of them are good guys sure and Zarkon definitely isn’t, but he doesn’t need to apply that to the rest of them. Lance glances away from Keith’s confused gaze to give Allura and Pidge his warmest smile. “I’m Lance Ramirez, by the way.”

  “What? No, I just said some of them are, just like some people without them aren’t either,” Keith says in a low voice, a hint of annoyance and anxiousness melding together in his tone as he glares a Lance. He seems defensive and offensive at the same time, somehow, as though he’s ready for, expects a fight. Lance has riled him up with a few words, which only proves his earlier theory about Keith being a hothead.  

  But that doesn’t change the fact that what he just said is true and Lance did kind of just assume the worst about Keith. He maybe could’ve been a little nicer. Lance is a big enough man to admit that. Lance raises an eyebrow as he glances over at Keith, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he tries to think of what to say. Keith’s still glaring at him, though he almost looks hurt as the silence passes between them, and that wasn’t fair either since he made him and Hunk out to be anti-anti-magic people like, three hours ago. In the end, Lance’s voice comes out a little strained and annoyed. “Oh well, I guess that’s true but – “

  “Then we should all move on and focus on getting to know each other,” A voice rings out, strong and warm and filling Lance with a sense of reassurance. Lance looks up to find Shiro standing in front of them, wearing the same grey cats suit as the rest of them, though somehow, he looks more heroic in it than the rest of them. His smile is shining and warm as he looks across the room, gaze landing on Keith of all people for a few seconds and growing kinder and more anxious at the same time. Maybe he has a history with anti-magic people being treated unfairly on teams? But the look is gone almost as soon as Lance notices it, his expression going back to warm and distant at the same time as he looks over all of them. “I’m Takashi Shirogane, but you can all me Shiro.”

  Hunk waves first while Lance still stands there in a kind of surprised awe, because somehow seeing Shiro in person is even cooler and more intimidating than it was in all of daydreams. Hunk though, just smiles and shrugs as he takes a step forward to shake the other man’s hand. “Hi, I’m Hunk.”

  “Good to meet you Hunk. I heard you’re Lance, and you’re Allura,” Shiro says with a quick nod, reaching out to shake first his hand and then Allura’s, smile never leaving his face as he takes them all in, one by one. Lance wonders how much he knows about each of them, their skills and abilities, if his files had more information. Then Shiro glances at Pidge with a playful grin and Keith with a warm one. “And I already know Pidge and Keith.”

  “You already know mullet?” Lance asks sharply before he can stop himself, eyebrows shooting up a little. Next to him, Keith touches his hair with a tight frown, inching a little closer to Hunk.

  “It’s not a mullet,” Keith snaps, voice cracking a little bit on the word mullet as he full on pouts at Lance. Lance shoots him a quick half-smile, not sure if it’s meant to be teasing or apologetic. It’s just nice to see this well, so far kind of serious and angry dude act more like a normal person. Keith returns it for a second, expression softening and suddenly Lance remembers how cute he found Keith when he saw him this morning and turns his gaze away. He does not need a crush on an impulsive hothead when Allura is right there.

  “Keith was my mentee in fight training classes,” Shiro explains with a grin, glancing over at Keith who gives him a small smile of his own, before his gaze darts away as though he’s embarrassed they saw him looking happy. Lance snorts, amused and then pushes the feeling away as the weight of Shiro’s words hit him.

  “Oh, right,” Lance sighs with a quick nod, glancing down at his boots as he kicks the ground a little with one foot. That makes sense given how high Keith’s fighting and agility skills are (the only one with a match for him in flexibility too) but how is Lance supposed to compete with someone who's already been trained by Shiro? With someone so serious and … Lance just worries that he’s going to be the weak link here since Keith has years of experience on him and Lance is second to him in almost everything. But maybe he’ll be wrong.

  Then Lance watches Keith duck under Shiro’s arm into a perfect back bend and feels his stomach drop.

* * *

  “Show me what you all got,” Shiro calls out as he takes a step back, pressing his hands together as he glances over them all. Keith takes a deep breath, hands sliding down to the hilt at his waist. He doesn't miss the brief disappointment that flashes across Shiro's face. Keith bites his lip and looks away, gaze growing tight. He doesn't want to hurt Shiro, but he doesn't belong here.

   But Keith promised Shiro (and Coran) that he'd give the team a chance for at least this semester. And for as long as he's here and not working as a spy yet, Keith is going to give the mission his all. The other people here deserve that much. Keith pulls out his word, sliding into his favorite fighting stance as he catches Shiro's steely gaze with a more playful one of his own, because Keith has to admit he also loves a (good) play fight. Keith smirks as he glides under the other man's arm with a quick twist, earning a surprised and amused gasp from Shiro.

  Keith glances up as he rolls to his feet, glancing over at Allura and Hunk as he ducks beneath a swinging punch from Shiro. Hunk turns his hand into a drill, smooth silver metal growing from his hand like it was always there, the metal whirling in the air. Keith barely manages to jump back and swing a leg out at Shiro, which he does at least make him stumble back a bit. Then he freezes again as Allura's hand mimics Hunk, her drill a slightly lighter shade of silver as it buzzes in the air. Allura smiles down at her hand, waving it in the air excitedly.

  Nearby Pidge is surrounded by several small robots all of them bouncing in the air in time with her snapping fingers. Keith smiles for a second and then twists on his heel to elbow Shiro in the chest and then slide under his arm. Keith wonders if maybe he shouldn't be fighting since no one else is, but he doesn't know how else he'd show off his skills when he doesn't have magic.

  Keith catches Lance from the corner of his eye, mouth falling open a little as he sees the other boy shift into Pidge, shrinking down as his hair fills out to her full bob. He’s never seen a shapeshifter in person before. Then he shoots up like a weed, hair bright blue and eyes a deep brown as he shoots Keith a tight look. Keith thinks these eyes aren’t as nice as Lance’s own, and not just because they seem annoyed with him. Maybe fighting wasn’t the way to go after all. Keith takes a few steps away from Shiro, pulling his sword out of his hilt and swinging it through the air experimentally. He doesn’t aim it toward anyone, instead practicing his technique as he glides between jump equipment, landing one handed on a vault and sliding his way down. he smirks as he does one of his most impressive jump and swings, landing near Lance and shooting him a small smile. For some reason, Keith wants to impress him.

  “Hey, watch where you’re swinging that thing, some of us can be hurt by it!” Lance shouts as he shoots Keith a small glare, shaking his head as though Keith had actually hit him.

 Keith freezes and is ready to apologize when he realizes he’s a foot away from Lance. He’s nowhere near him, but Lance is acting like Keith almost hit him with his blade. Keith glances down, measuring the space as well as he can without … focusing more than he should, and yeah. He’s definitely at least 10 inches away from him and his blade is drawn in towards his chest. Keith crosses his arms, glaring hotly at the other boy. “It wasn’t anywhere near you!”

  “It was close enough!” Lance says as he rolls his eyes, tone heavy with annoyance as he stares over at Lance’s sword. Keith holds onto the blade a little tighter, feeling defensive because there’s nothing wrong with his sword. Keith hates how easily some people can rile him up, doesn’t know why he’s this way with all this defensiveness and anger flowing in his veins. He wonders if it’s from his mom too, another bit of her Keith can’t cut out. Not yet.

  “Lance, Keith, is there a problem here?” Shiro asks as he looks over them, voice firm and with a layer of disappointment that makes Keith still. It’s the first day at the Garrison and he’s already let Shiro down twice. That’s a record, even for him. Keith bites his lip and closes his eyes, reminding himself that patience equals focus over and over again, though no calming sensation comes over him. Not today. When Keith opens his eyes, everything’s just a little too bright.

  “We’re fine!” Keith snaps, voice rising more than he’d like as he takes a few steps away from the other, crossing his arms even tighter against his chest. Hunk and Allura glance over at him, expressions wide with surprise at his tone. Great. Keith glances away from them and toward the wall, not wanting to meet anyone’s gaze. He doesn’t want to make friends, but he didn’t want … Keith’s sick of always being on the outside, but maybe that’s where he belongs.

  “Yeah, as long as you keep this hotheaded asshole away from me,” Lance groans as he shoots Keith another heated glare. His eyes are back to blue but hair a bright red as he turns on his heel and walks over to Hunk.

  Keith crosses his arms a little tighter because he barely knows Lance. They’ve had two conversations, and in both of them Lance has gotten pissed at him for things that have nothing to do with Lance or things Keith didn’t even say or do! He hasn’t even been rude, all he did was defend himself. How is he the asshole here? “What’s that supposed to mean – “

  “I think we’re getting off on the wrong foot,” Shiro cuts him off with a warm smile, sliding one hand onto Keith’s shoulder, though his gaze is turned toward Lance. Lance shrugs a little, gaze still annoyed, but Keith guesses he’s not willing to argue with Shiro. Keith can’t blame him, he’s not willing to either most of the time. Shiro’s disappointment is like a knife to the chest. Shiro turns his eyes toward him, smile soft as he gives Keith a knowing look, one Keith knows from experience means nothing good for him. “Keith, how about you show us what you can do?”

  “Right,” Keith murmurs as he lifts up his sword and takes a deep breath, switching the small button at the hilt on. Then Keith swings is toward where Hunk and Pidge are huddled together, a hint of purple light radiating across the room. Keith watches as Hunk’s hand smooths back down into skin and five fingers, any hint of metal or electric energy gone as Hunk cracks his knuckles. Pidge’s robots stop bouncing, slowly falling to the ground with a low thud as Keith holds them within the purple beam.

  “Hey, my hand! It’s not a drill anymore,” Hunk cries as he holds up his hands, cracking his knuckles slightly in the air. His eyes are wide with a mixture of fear and awe, and Keith is about to drop the anti-magic when Shiro shakes his head. Right, they’re all here to learn and that means Keith has to be the bad guy.

  “And I can’t feel any of the wires in this room, not a single one,” Pidge exclaims with wide eyes, those hers are more with awe than fear. Huh, that’s not a reaction Keith’s used to. Not this early on, at least. Most magic users took a while to get comfortable around anti-magic weapons, and Keith can’t blame them. He likes losing his magic while he holds them, but it does sometimes leave him feeling kind of empty. Pidge leans in excitedly, mouth breaking into a wide grin as she stares at his sword. “Wait, these weapons – can they do that with anyone’s powers?!”

  “Depends on the skill level and mastery,” Keith tells them nervously as they all stare over at him, looking up at Pidge with a small smile. Maybe he can still turn this around. “How much raw power someone has as well.”

  “Right, but how do they work?” Pidge asks as she comes closer, poking the edge of the Blade with one finger. She pulls her hand back when smoke comes out, staring down at the light purple puffs with wide eyes. Keith lets out a small chuckle, because he’d had the same reaction the first time he touched it without his gloves. Now they kept the pain and smoke at bay, though Keith has to admit there’s a slight burning sensation in his palm right now, like his skin’s being pricked. It usually takes longer than this for the pain to bleed through. Keith shrugs at Pidge, because he has no idea how the weapons work, just that they do. He’s never asked too many questions.

  “Why do you want to know so badly?” Lance blurts out as he shoots Pidge a disbelieving look, eyebrows scrunching together and lips pressing together tightly. Then a beat passes where no one says anything, but Allura flicks her gaze pointedly at Keith. Lance suddenly looks sheepish, rubbing the back of his neck as he glances over at him. Keith just crosses his arms a little and gives him an awkward expression between a smile and a grimace, because he doesn’t want another argument right now.

  Why don’t you?” Pidge scoffs as she shakes her head, reaching a finger toward the sword again. Keith raises an eyebrow as he pulls it back, flicking the switch off and sliding it back into his hilt. He’s not going to be responsible for Pidge hurting herself on the blade. Pidge pouts at him for a second, before letting out a low sigh as she looks at the hilt almost lovingly. “The science behind anti-magic technology is so fascinating. It’s the cutting edge of technology.”

  “Pidge is right, even if it is also terrifying,” Hunk mumbles as he glances at the hilt and swallows, as though he thinks the sword might jump out and stab him too. He also looks curious though, eyes flicking quickly as though he’s already doing some kind of science Keith doesn’t understand in his head.

  Shiro shakes his head, glancing at all them as he takes a step closer to Keith. He doesn’t reach an arm out toward him though, just gestures toward his sword. Keith wonders if that’s Shiro’s way of saying he’s disappointed in him for not using his powers or his way of not making him feel singled out. Keith can’t really tell. He’s never been good at reading other people’s moods. Shiro gives them all a serious look, even as he keeps smiling at all of them. “They don’t have to be. These tools are weapons, but they aren’t scary as long as the person using them has the right intentions.”

  “Yeah, of course,” Lance agrees quickly, holding up one hand apologetically. Shiro just nods, smile growing warmer as he glances back at Lance. Lance looks a little more at ease, the tension (he somehow caused) fading under Shiro’s approval. “Just still a little scary to think about how I couldn’t even hold them without smoke coming off of my hands.”

  “You’d be surprised,” Keith warns Lance with a small laugh, glancing down at his gloves. He can’t help feeling a little self-deprecating and – fuck. Keith isn’t used to talking to other people. Keith glances over at Lance who has one eyebrow raised, frowning as he gives Keith a questioning look. Next to him, Allura’s eyes are wide and Hunk’s eyebrows are scrunched together suspiciously. Keith looks up at the ceiling and bites his lip, voice coming out weaker than he would’ve liked. “I just mean – some people have held them before.”

  “… Okay, back to practice,” Shiro says with a low sigh, giving Keith a small look of exasperation as he moves back into a fighting position. Keith runs toward him, not surprised when he finds himself on the ground, staring up at smug blue eyes as he stares up at the ceiling. Stupid super strength. But then Lance laughs, warm and bright, and for a second Keith imagines what it might be like to be friends with him. But the idea’s gone as soon as Lance’s laugh is, and Keith tries to forget he ever had it. He’s not here to make friends and Lance hated him on sight. Some things aren’t meant to be.

* * *

  Lance sighs as he comes into his room, carefully rolling up the sleeves of his salmon button up to his forearms. He grabs his blue and white striped cardigan off the table, sliding it off the table and pulling it on, because it’s a little bit freezing in here. Lance wanders toward the kitchen, because it’s been a long day and he needs some good old-fashioned comfort food.

  Training was … rough to say the least, he and Keith butting heads for half of it and kind of just staying away from each other the rest of the time. Lance and Hunk and Pidge all had fun, showing off their skills to each other and telling each other stories. Even Allura cracked a few smiles, but not Keith. No, he spent the entire practice session with that stupid glare on his face, practicing his fighting skills alone or with Shiro a few feet away from them, as though they weren’t even worth his time. It didn’t help Lance’s already wavering self-esteem.

  Neither does the fact that Shiro spent what felt like way more time on Keith than he did any of them, but more specifically him. Shiro’s been his idol since he was 13 and Shiro first became a professional Paladin and knowing that his newly minted rival already has his favor without powers makes Lance feel pretty damn low. But that’s all nothing a good bowl of spaghetti can’t fix.

  Lance saunters into the kitchen, opening the fridge he and Hunk had filled two shelves of earlier. He glances at the third one, for their mysterious suite mate, and finds … a frankly shocking amount of juice boxes. Is their roommate a small child? Or did they have juice-based powers? Lance snorts at his own thought, rustling for a few more ingredients as he tries to put this morning out of his head. He and Hunk had a great time exploring campus, and he’s sure he’ll … well, he’s not sure he’ll ever like Keith, but he’ll learn to live with him or maybe one of them (preferably Keith) gets moved to a different team or maybe Keith gets to go on all the dangerous spy missions he seems so desperate to go on. Not that Lance cares.

  Lance hears someone clear their throat and looks up to find a white hoodless sweatshirt with a red and crimson plaid shirt tied around the waist. When he pulls himself up more, he finds himself face to face with big violet-grey eyes and messy black hair. Fuck. “Wait, what are you doing here?”  

  “I’m in the other room,” Keith answers with a small wince, glancing down at the floor as though he’s nervous. Lance raises an eyebrow at that, because he knows he’s many things – handsome, hilarious, hard-working, basically all good things that start with an H – but intimidating’s never been one of them. In fact, if anyone in this room is, it’s Keith, which only makes his reaction weirder. Maybe he really is afraid of magic? But no, he let Shiro slam him into walls and Pidge make her robots dance around his head. So, it is him. Huh.

  Lance stares as he takes his sentence in, the mix of confusion and smug pride of Keith being intimidated and maybe even impressed by him fading as his words hit him. Keith lives across the hallway from him. “What?”

  “Yeah, so you stay on your half of the kitchen and I’ll stay on mine, and we’ll be fine,” Keith mutters in a low voice, crossing his arms as he looks away from Lance and toward the wall. Lance’s own gaze hardens, shaking his head a little as he goes back to digging in the fridge. He hadn’t even said anything except what and sue him for being surprised that Keith’s apparently going to be everywhere.

  “Okay, so much for teamwork,” Lance hisses before closing his eyes and counting to five, because he doesn’t want to get into another petty argument. At least not until he’s finished his spaghetti and gotten his energy back up. Lance frowns a little as he glances at Keith’s shelf and then back at Keith’s small frame, sweatshirt and rolled up jeans both just a little too big. He’s just as thin, but suddenly it feels more natural on him than it does on Keith. “Is that all of your stuff?”

  “Yeah, why?” Keith says as he cocks his head, but the fight that was in his voice a few minutes ago has faded. There’s still a hint of defensiveness to his tone, and Lance notices his posture get a little stiffer. Okay, he maybe hit a sore spot. Great.

  “Nothing, it’s just – why do you have so many juice boxes?” Lance splutters, which is better than ‘why don’t you have any food’ at least. Keith’s eyes widen, a brief flush coming over his face before he looks away and out the window. Lance scoffs a little, but just like during training, there’s something weirdly nice about seeing Keith vulnerable and – nope. He’s not getting a crush on his newly minted rival. This isn’t a sports anime; he and Keith aren’t going to be best friends by the end of the semester. Lance opens his mouth when suddenly his eardrums are filled with pop music so loud he swears the floor is shaking. Looks like he didn’t get invited to the first party of the year. “You hear it too?”

  “Way too clearly,” Keith sighs as he winces a little bit, closing his eyes tightly as though the music was physically hurting him. Lance cocks his head, eyebrows scrunching together, because it’s loud enough to be annoying but he doesn’t think it’s like. Painfully loud. Keith presses his hands over his ears for a second, then immediately drops them as though he just remembered Lance is in the room.  

  “Yeah, kind of rude to blast pop music this late at night,” Lance agrees with him with a small smile, because at least this is something they agree on, and that could be a start. Towards what, Lance isn’t sure, but something less awkward than where they are now. Rivals don’t have to hate each other after all. “And now it’s Taylor Swift. Great. This is the kind of music that makes you wish someone’s vocal cords would explode, you know that feeling?”

  “Every time you open your mouth,” Keith growls, shooting him a quick glare as he grabs one of his juice boxes from the top shelf. Well so much for moving forward or not having a fight pre-spaghetti time.

  “Hey, what’s with the hostility?!” Lance snaps, taking a few steps toward Keith, leaning in so they’re nose to nose. Keith leans back for a second, wincing and for a brief moment Lance thinks he’s already won. But then Keith leans back in, own glare only growing hotter as he crosses his arms across his chest, juice box straw dangling against his left hip. Lance hopes the apple juice drips on his white sweatshirt.

  “Seriously?” Keith asks in a tight voice as he raises an eyebrow, giving Lance a look of disbelief. Lance scrunches his face together more, wrinkling his nose because he has no idea what Keith’s getting at here. Keith lets out a low sigh, shaking his head a little as he his voice grows a bit steadier, though no less annoyed. “You called me an asshole for no reason during training today.”

  “It wasn’t for no reason, it was because you got your stupid swords too close to my face on …” Lance trails off, biting his lip and looking away from Keith. Because okay, yeah, Keith hadn’t been that close to him during practice, and even if he had, assuming he did it on purpose when Lance barely knows him is a dick move. Maybe neither of them has been as nice to each other as they could’ve been. “Okay, maybe Shiro was right when he said we got off on the wrong foot.”

  “Yeah, he usually is,” Keith admits with a quick laugh, higher-pitched and softer than Lance would’ve expected from him. Then Keith gives him a small, sheepish smile, gaze growing softer as he holds out a hand. “Wanna start over?”

  “I could use some help making dinner,” Lance throws out with a grin as he takes Keith hand and shakes it awkwardly, wondering in the back of his mind if Keith went to military school. Most other people their age he knows don’t shake hands.

   Lance handles boiling the water for the noodles while Keith heats up the sauce, both of them working together in comfortable silence. The tension created by this morning seems to have faded a bit now that they’ve talked about it, and Lance even catches Keith humming something slightly off-key under his breath a few times. Maybe Keith’s been having a bad day too now that Lance thinks about it. He and Shiro seemed close, but there was also a weird amount of anxiety between them, Keith looking over his shoulder at Shiro every few minutes as though searching for his approval. Lance can relate, that’s how he feels with his brothers and sisters most of the time. Hell, Shiro too, even if he did just meet him six hours ago.

  “So, why did you want to join the Garrison?” Keith murmurs as Lance hands him a bowl filled with noodles, Keith handing him a ladle full of sauce with his other hand.

  “Don’t make me fun of me, I’m sure you joined because you were the top of your class or something, but I saw the pamphlet at school. And I remembered how much I loved all those superhero shows and ads from when I was a kid and all of the lessons about doing the right thing and friendship, and I dunno, I wanted to be that person for someone too,” Lance rambles as he pours his sauce over the noodles, not looking at Keith and keeping his focus on the bowl in front of him instead. He knows it’s kind of a silly reason and Keith’s a serious person, but … those shows and ads meant a lot to Lance. They made him feel like he could be something, like he could matter.

  “I watched a lot of those shows as a kid, the right thing part stuck with me too,” Keith admits and Lance glances over at him, eyes widening slightly as Keith gives him a small grin. Then Keith shrugs, gaze dropping to his bowl as he takes the ladle back from Lance. His voice is a little softer when he gives the rest of his of his story. “I’m only here because Shiro convinced me to come, at least at first, so yours are better than mine.”

  “Really? I wouldn’t have guessed, you seem like you were probably some hotshot student,” Lance tells him with a sound that’s halfway between a laugh and a scoff, raising an eyebrow when Keith meets his gaze with a playful smirk. See, this? This is a good rivalry zone. Playful teasing, no assholes or explosions needed.

  “Nah, I was a discipline issue,” Keith says as he holds up his bowl, taking a quick bite of spaghetti and somehow not letting any fall off the edge. Lance’s eyebrows shoot up to his forehead, blinking a bit because he didn’t expect someone like Keith to be. He has a temper sure, but he’s so serious about training and he idolizes Shiro so much that Lance figured he was a golden boy too. Keith cocks his head as he leans back against the counter, smirk growing wider as he catches the look on Lance’s face.

  “Discipline issue? Did you go to military school for high school too?” Lance drawls, wriggling his eyebrows as he gives Keith a once over. He can’t help imagining him in a goofy school uniform for a second. Keith looks a little flustered, biting his lip as though he’s not used to that kind of look period. “Are you from like a military family or – “

  “I’m not from any kind of family,” Keith mutters, voice and the temperature in the room both dropping suddenly as Keith takes a step back from him. Lance is turning out to be really good at finding all of Keith’s sore spots. Still, Lance shoots him an apologetic look, eyebrows sloping down, because he didn’t mean to bring up bad feelings this time. Keith nods, giving him a look of understanding before flicking his gaze to their mini oven. “The mozzarella sticks are done.”

  Lance nods and Keith moves past him swiftly to grab some oven mitts – though Lance doesn’t know why he needs them when he’s still wearing his gloves – and pulls out the plate. They sit there, making small talk about their favorite childhood heroes for a few minutes while the mozzarella sticks cool. Lance can’t help staring at the necklace around Keith’s neck, one small, jagged purple stone glimmering in the dim kitchen lights. Keith catches where his gaze is and quickly shoves it under his sweatshirt, turning his eyes to the mozzarella sticks. Some of the distance from before is back, but not as much and Lance at least thinks they moved past the arguing. That’s all he could ask for this fast.

  (It turns out they haven’t, but that also turns into something better).


	3. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by the amazing Shiroikumo: http://shiroikumo.tumblr.com/post/175099875876/but-if-you-wanted-to-join-me-im-about-to-start
> 
> http://shiroikumo.tumblr.com/post/175099868071/the-lights-arent-so-bad-now-music-still-way-too

Training the next week sadly doesn’t go as well as dinner.

  Not at first, at least. Lance and Keith keep getting paired together, because apparently Shiro sees something in them that lines up, but Lance sure as hell isn’t seeing it and he doesn’t think Keith does either. Keith does a backflip behind Lance, diving under the fake laser from the practice robot, body flexible and smooth in the air. Whatever, Lance could do that to if he wanted to. Lance leaps backwards, shifting into a taller, stronger man from one of his comic books, punching one of the droids in the chest before ducking under its arm, crouching down as he shifts back into himself. Lance thinks Keith’s going to be pretty damn impressed.

  Except Keith isn’t looking at him at all, he’s too busy going head first at several droids.

  Lance sighs, shaking his head a little as he narrows his gaze. Keith’s a better fighter than him (for now). Lance is man enough to admit that. But even he’s not strong enough to take on six droids by himself. Lance jumps into the fight, knocking one out with a few well-placed moves, sliding down to give a low kick at one of the droids that’s about to knock Keith in the back. Keith shoots him a quick smile, but then something almost embarrassed comes in his gaze as he turns to slice his way through the droid between them, metal flying off his sword. Suddenly Lance’s a lot more afraid of that sword.

  Lance stares at him, mouth hanging open and eyebrows shooting at his forehead as he watches Keith turn on his heel, not even paying attention to the droid behind him as far as Lance can tell. Lance lunges forward, grappling with it quick ducks and punches, sliding between heights and sizes to avoid getting hit. But then he’s not quite fast enough, getting smacked with a hard metal arm in the stomach. Lance lets out a low groan, falling backwards. At least no one saw.

  Except then Lance watches Keith slice through the droids arm, pieces of metal flying in the air again and falling to the ground at the same speed of Lance. Super. A few of them hit Lance in the chest and he lets out a small growl, because yeah, those things hurt like a mother. Lance shoots a tight glare at Keith, who hasn’t even bothered to ask if he’s okay, he’s just swinging toward the next droid. “Hey, watch where you’re going!”

  “Watch yourself,” Keith snaps as he shoots him a tight glare over his shoulder, expression carefully blank as he walks away from Lance. Except Lance can still see hints of anxiety and annoyance mixing in his gaze. Wait he was annoyed he helped Lance? Or that Lance helped him? Whatever, Lance doesn’t care about Keith and whatever inner turmoil he’s going through. Lance just doesn’t want to affect the team Keith doesn’t even wanna be on.

  That’s the first week. After that they get a bit of a break, Keith working on his own or with Shiro and Lance getting to hang out with Hunk and Pidge, who are both much more talkative than Mr. Brooding Big Eyes over there. Things in the dorms are … fine actually, small talk here and there, and the occasional shared meal, but everything goes back to tense and angry the moment the training suits are on. But Shiro can’t let just things be. Two weeks later, he teams Lance and Keith up again for a training simulation about trust and directing each other.

  Lance is sure this is gonna go great.

  Lance is walking through a maze with no light while Keith sends him direction over a voice comm, out of sight. Though Lance imagine the annoyed glare on his face as he barks out directions that lead Lance into a wall at least twice, and one through a tunnel where he ends up covered in something slimy. Keith doesn’t seem to get that’s a problem, voice getting genuinely bright for a second as he tells Lance he crawled through the tunnel well. It’d almost be cute if Lance wasn’t covered in green goo that got into his mouth. He thinks it might be jello. 

  “Not really impressed by your leadership capabilities here, mullet,” Lance drawls over the com, voice just a little teasing as he hears Keith let out a frustrated huff. Keith gives him another set of directions that again leads him to the front of a wall. Lance stares up at it and waits for Keith to apologize, but it never comes. “Yeah, you walking me into a fucking wall isn’t helping. No wonder they thought you were too incompetent to be a spy.”

  “Scale it,” Keith snaps hotly, an undercurrent of annoyance in his tone, like he thinks Lance is being ridiculous by not coming up with that plan by himself.     

  Lance stares up at the wall, because he can see that it doesn’t actually reach the ceiling now that he’s closer to it, hands brushing against the hard stone. They’re not even, some sticking out more than others, but the distance between them is pretty far. Lance frowns tightly, thinking back to Keith’s words because wait. “What?”

  “Scale it,” Keith mutters, sounding frustrated as he almost snarls over the comm. Lance realizes that Keith wants him to grab those stones and throw himself up, the wall, like some kind of superhero. And yeah, maybe Keith could do it – though Lance doubts that – but Lance can’t without his powers and he’s not allowed to use them on this mission. Keith should know that. “You know, climb it? Even your paperclip sized brain can handle that.”

  Lance stiffens at his words, because well. Maybe he deserves that for calling Keith incompetent. But Lance worries about that a lot. He knows he’s not as smart as Hunk or Pidge or even Shiro, doesn’t have the training of Allura or natural instincts of Keith. But he’s not dumb. Lance crosses his arm, voice rising a little as he shouts over the intercom. “Hey, asshole, if you were better at giving directions – “

  “That’s enough for today,” Shiro calls out, the room suddenly filling with bright light that almost blinds Lance. He feels a sense of vindictive joy, a fair bit of concern, and just a hair of confusion when it makes Keith literally fall to the ground.

  Lance starts to walk toward him when Keith rolls to his feet like he didn’t just wipe out, waving both him and Shiro off as he storms toward the door. Shiro follows him after a beat, brow furrowed, and lips twisted down. Lance stares after them with wide eyes, because is Keith in trouble? For falling? Lance would’ve gotten it if it was one of the times Keith impulsively tried to take on five drones by himself or suddenly vanished while wincing mid training session only to appear a minute later without his knife, but he didn’t really do anything wrong this time. Now Lance feels kind of bad for him.

  Still, Lance tries to push the thought out of his mind and get through the rest of his classes, not thinking about Keith again until the other boy shows up in their kitchen. Lance stares at him over his pasta, watching as Keith takes a long sip from his juice box. Looks like the tension from training has finally bled into the kitchen. Lance can’t have that, this is where he comes to cook and watch movies with Hunk. It’s a sacred space. They gotta fix this.

  Lance takes a few steps toward Keith, taking a deep breath as he tries to think of all the different things he could say. How Lance likes how Keith takes training so seriously and how much he cares about helping people, that he’s actually not that bad when he relaxes, and how he’s cute with his juice boxes. But Lance also feels like that would be a lot to lay on Keith right now, and well, Keith did also call his brain paperclip-sized. He’s not the only guilty one here.

  “Sorry,” Lance mutters as he takes a few toward Keith, cocking his head to the side. Lance knows how to be the bigger man, even if he doesn’t really like being in that position. Lance gives him a small smile, eyebrows sloping down as he sees Keith’s gaze filled with surprise. He wants to be offended, but something about the quirk of Keith’s lips makes Lance think that’s not about him. Keith nods, pulling at the tug of his black hoodie for a moment before he looks up and meets Lance’s gaze.

  Lance has no idea what to expect when Keith bites his lip and takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a beat. Then Keith opens his eyes and gives him a soft smile, nodding as he walks toward the door back to his bedroom. “Me too.”

  Lance nods back at him before watching the door swing close, turning toward his own room feeling like a weight’s been lifted off of him. Lance feels like their rivalry is … not gone, because when it’s just them bickering about who can do more push-ups or eat more fries, Lance actually kind of likes it. It’s fun and light-hearted and makes him feel at home. Still, Lance can’t help but wonder if it will translate into training when he walks into the gym the next day. Based on how Keith keeps glancing at him out of the corner of his eye, hair gaze a little anxious, Lance thinks he feels the same way.

  Shiro, maybe sensing something’s about to break, tells them they’re going to do a training session today. Sneak in and enter, and then take down several drones to recover someone who’s been kidnapped, here played by Hunk sitting on the other side of the room, showing Allura something with his hand. Keith sighs, crossing his arms as he nods over at Shiro. Then Keith darts across the room, sliding underneath the makeshift barriers set up for them with a clean dive.

  Lance sighs and runs after him, sliding through the barriers until they’re crouched together underneath a few rocks, glancing at the line of droids along the wall. They need to get past them to grab the key to free Hunk, being held up by Allura who’s standing on top of a table. Keith suddenly shoots up, lunging forward and Lance dives at him, because he’s not going to get bad marks or let Keith get hit with a laser or something.  

  “Hey, don’t go rushing in! We might get caught,” Lance whispers as he grabs Keith’s arm and roughly pulls him back to his side. Keith shoots him an annoyed look, raising an eyebrow as he slowly crosses his arms.  

  “You could’ve just tapped me, you didn’t have to grab my arm like that,” Keith whispers heatedly, leaning toward Lance. Lance realizes that he still has his hand on Keith’s shoulder and pulls it back quickly, waving it through the air and trying to make it look casual. Keith gives him a confused look, furrowing his brow for a second. Then, thank God, Keith turns his gaze back to the droids with a small frown, cocking his head to the right a little. “But you’re right, we’d get caught.”

  “Yeah, exactly,” Lance tells him with a bright grin, bumping his shoulder against Keith’s own, expecting Keith to shoot him another heated glare. Instead Keith smirks up at him and lets out a small laugh, warm and a little rough in a way Lance hadn’t expected. Though, then he never expected to hear Keith laugh at all. It’s kind of nice, now that he’s heard it.

  Keith’s gaze goes back to the droids and his smirk gains a challenging twist to it, eyes sparkling as he points at the droids. Lance blinks a little, because oh right, they still need to get past all 7 of them and free Hunk. Keith’s voice is teasing in a way that’s different than their other bickering, warmer. “Do you got a better plan?”

  “Actually yeah,” Lance tells him as he scans the area, shifting suddenly into Pidge, who's playing the villain today. She’s in charge of this entire army, so they’ll be programmed not to attack her. She’ll come in after a few minutes, so their window will be short, but that’s where Keith and these rocks come in. Lance pats Keith on the shoulder gently, directing his gaze to the small cavern next to them that leads up to a thin line of rocks along the wall. They’ll be difficult to scale, but Lance thinks Keith’ll be able to pull it off. Then he can dive down and hit the droids with his sword from behind.

  “That is better,” Keith agrees with a small grin and a quick thumbs up. Lance lets out a small scoff, but there’s no heat behind it, no annoyance, and he returns Keith’s smile as he watches the other boy dive through the cavern and slide up the first part of the rock wall.

    Okay, now it’s time for Lance to do his own razzle dazzle. Lance slides out from behind the rocks, shifting to make himself a little shorter as he catches the real Pidge out of the corner of his eye. Pidge pouts at him, dramatically rolling her eyes as she moves closer to the wall and the fake door on the other side of the gym. Lance strolls out in front of the droids, waving at them and giving them the finger guns as he makes his way toward Allura holding the key. Lance notices Allura is watching him, gaze curious and piercing, and wonders if she’s trying to figure out how to imitate his powers. Lance has to admit that he’s kind of touched by that.

  Lance takes the key from Allura’s hand with a wink at the same time Pidge busts through the fake door, hands on her hips. She shoots him a dramatic glare and then smiles in slow motion as she holds up her plastic knife. And Hunk thought he was gonna be the ham. Lance shifts back into himself, diving forward at the same time Keith leaps from the wall, knocking out two droids, one with his sword and the other with a well-placed fist.

  Lance has to admit he’s impressed. Lance slides in ducking under one droid as it dives forward and watching as it smashes into the droid to its right. Keith shoots him another thumbs up before sliding down on the ground, swinging his leg out to hit the fifth droid so it goes flying toward the ground at the same time Lance gives a hard shove to the one on his left. Keith swings around so they’re back to back as he stabs his sword through the final droid at the same time Lance unlocks the ‘magic’ ropes holding Hunk in place. Hunk pulls him into a tight hug at the same time Keith swings his sword over his shoulder like he’s in an action movie.

   As they walk out of the gym, Lance meets Keith’s gaze with a small smile, walking side by side as they go to the dining hall. They make a pretty great team after all.

  Two days later it’s Friday night, and Hunk and Allura are going out with Shay, Hunk having picked out at least three different outfits before settling on a yellow polo that showed off his strong arms and jeans, keeping his lucky orange headband in place even as he insisted it wasn’t a date. Normally Lance would tag along to play wingman, but he’s feeling a little under the weather tonight and he’s pretty sure Allura’s got this.

  Instead Lance slinks into the kitchen, planning on spending his evening curled up in the sitting nook he and Hunk constructed with a loveseat, two blankets, and three pillows kindly donated by Keith. Who is sitting on one half of the nook, blanket over his nap as he sips on a juice box. Lance wonders if he needs to talk about Keith about his diet at some point but pushes the question aside as he sits down next to him, raising an eyebrow. “Hey, you’re staying in tonight?”

  “I stay in every night,” Keith tells him with a small shrug, gaze darting to the ceiling when he catches the way Lance’s eyes widen. Okay, he could’ve been subtler about his shock there, but what does Keith mean, he never goes out? Keith crosses his arms and shoots Lance his anxious glare because a month into having Keith as his roommate, he’s starting to learn how to tell the difference. Keith bites his lips, expression growing a little softer when he speaks again. “I don’t … sometimes Shiro stops by. We get dinner. Watch documentaries about conspiracies sometimes, but I like them more than Shiro so…”

  Lance starts to open his mouth and then stops, because wait, what? Keith likes conspiracy theories? Like mole people or mothman? Lance grins brightly as he leans in, wriggling his eyebrows. “Wait, are you kind of a nerd?”

  “No,” Keith cries, pouting a little as he shakes his head and leans back against the couch, hair falling across flushed cheeks. Keith leans over and opens their fridge while managing to stay on the couch, feet just barely touching the edge as he pulls the door open. Keith holds out an orange juice box and a grape one, and Lance takes the grape one with a smirk. Keith’s blush is almost gone when slides back onto the loveseat, crossing his arms as he shoots Lance a tight look. “I just like conspiracy theories and proving them wrong!”

  “Okay, nerd,” Lance scoffs as he throws an arm across the back of the couch because the only thing nerdier than liking conspiracy theories was using science and research to prove them wrong for fun. Keith huffs, but he leaned back against the loveseat without moving. Lance is gonna count this as progress. He glances over at Keith, giving him a small smile, because might as well try to move this from rivals to friendly rivals and Lance knows just the way. _Coco_. “But if you wanted to join me, I’m about to start a Disney movie marathon, if you like things behind fake aliens.”

  I mean, aliens are probably real, just not crop circles,” Keith answers with a smirk, voice light and musing as he leans back against the loveseat. Keith then stops, lips forming into a small ‘o’ as his eyebrows slope down. “I’ve never – the last Disney movie I saw was _Tangled_ so – “

  “That came out like a decade ago!” Lance cries, throwing his hands up in the air as he stares at Keith, who seems pretty nonplussed. This is terrible. Lance has only known Keith for about a month, but he would’ve fixed this tragedy weeks ago if he’d known.

  “Yeah, I know,” Keith murmurs, voice small and soft as he glances down at his hands, pulling on the edge of his light grey sweater. Lance wonders why all of his shirts were so frayed at the end, though he thinks it suits him somehow. Keith bites his lip, looking away from Lance and toward the wall. Lance thinks his offer of Disney is about to be rejected, Keith’s being too mature for kids’ movies even though no one can ever outgrow Disney. But then Keith turns to him with a warm grin, gaze lidded as he leans back on the couch. “So, are we watching them or what?”

  Six hours and one pan of brownies later, Lance finds himself curled up on the couch next to Keith watching Big Hero Six. Keith’s arms are crossed tightly against his chest, leaning forward as he watches the action play out. He’s seemed pretty into all the movies they’ve watched so far, and Lance thinks after this he might pop in a classic to jog Keith’s memory of his childhood. Maybe _Mulan_ or _The Lion King_.          

  Keith lets out a small sound that sounds like he’s choking as Hiro and Baymax talk, and Lance glances over at him and scrunches his eyebrows. Keith makes another noise in the back of his throat, this time a little more clearly a sound he’s trying to swallow. Lance leans in and peers at him, raising an eyebrow as he sees the red circles around his eyes and the thin lines of tears going down both his cheeks. “Are you … are you _crying_?”

  “No!” Keith snaps, crossing his arms and leaning back into the couch, tears still falling down his cheeks even as they start to turn red again. Keith pouts at him, bumping him with his shoulder as the movie switches scenes. Lance lets out a small laugh, leaning back and handing Keith a napkin to use as a tissue. It’s the least he can do. “Besides, you cried during Moana. Twice.”

  “I’m very in touch with my emotions, you – “Lance starts and then stops as Keith raises an eyebrow, as though daring him to finish that sentence. It’s a pretty impressive look to pull off while dabbing a napkin with tiny Pikachu’s all over it under his eye, all things considering. Lance gives him a sheepish smile, shrugging a little. “Are more than I thought, apparently.”

  “Shut up,” Keith groans as he finishes cleaning the tears off of his face, but there’s no heat behind his voice as he leans toward Lance on couch just a little more. Maybe they should do _The Lion King_ next. Keith smiles at him, small and crooked, as he holds up his plate. “You make good brownies.”

  “Thanks, Keith,” Lance says softly, taking the plate and sliding it over his own on the table. Keith is watching him with a slight gaze, free of any of his usual anxiety or annoyance. He gets why Shiro is friends with Keith now. Lance leans over and starts _The Lion King_ , shooting Keith a quick smile as he grabs another brownie for them to split from the table. Friendly rivals are good, but maybe friends are even better.

* * *

  Two weeks later, Keith wakes up with a slight headache and vision too sharp by half. He can see the separate dust particles on his coffee table, feel each individual thread in his blanket, and smell a mix of the oranges from the tree outside his window and chlorine in the pool a few feet away. It’s getting worse. Keith takes a few deep breaths, closing his eyes and trying to remind himself that patience equals focus. Except wait. He doesn’t want to focus right now. He needs to be distracted so he stops hearing Hunk’s quiet breaths from the room next door and see each individual color in his ceiling tiles and feel just – too much.

  He needs to go to the gym.

  Keith rolls to his feet, sliding out of his sleep shirt into a red T-shirt, before pulling on a pair of black pants, grabbing his worn red tennis shoes from the floor. Keith glances down at his shoes, seeing the different textures and shades of red blending together, the thin wires of thread that make up his laces. It’s strangely beautiful in its own way, and Keith almost wants to stop to sketch it.

  But no, he needs to stop seeing those colors, not become enraptured by them. That’s even more dangerous than them getting more out of control. Keith closes his eyes, flashes of broken windows, collapsed buildings, and heavy smoke filling his mind. He’s seen the clips. Keith knows his powers don’t lead anywhere good. not when his dad used to say he looked so much like his mother. Keith opens his eyes and there are no more colors, no more threads. His stomach lurches in longing, but Keith ignores it. This is better.

  Keith jogs down the hallway and across campus, past the large courtyard and path to the beach, glancing at the ocean and taking in a deep breath. The air is salty and smooth, fresh in a way Keith finds calming. Some of the tension has left him by the time he arrives at the gym, walking through the heavy metal doors. He thinks he’ll stretch today. Keith’s not always that into yoga, but sometimes it can help him get out of his own head, especially if he can do it with a good view of the trees.

  The gym is empty, or seems empty, because when Keith gets to the yoga room on the second floor, he’s not the only one there. Lance is lying on a mat in a downward dog position, the lean, muscular lines of his body visible in his navy shorts and light blue tank top. When he stretches up, rolling with ease, Keith can see that it has a picture of the sun on it. Keith thinks it suits Lance, but he’s also confused, eyebrows scrunching together as he makes his way to the mats. Lance turns as he hears the footsteps, smiling softly as he looks over at Keith and waves loosely.

  “I didn’t know you got up this early,” Keith murmurs as he comes to stand next to Lance, returning Lance’s smile with a weak of his own as he leans over to start untying his shoe. Lance rolls his eyes, shaking his head and sliding his hand over his heart like he’s been wounded. Keith lets out a small snort, smile growing a little more real as he moves his hands over to his other shoe, untying it as well.

  “Normally I don’t, but I had a hard time sleeping last night,” Lance tells him with a shrug, glancing down at Keith with a small grin, though the way his eyebrows slope down almost makes him look a little embarrassed. “Nightmares.”

  “Oh, yeah, I can relate,” Keith says as he cocks his head, taking off of his shoe and sliding it to the wall. Lance turns his head toward him, a hint of surprise on his face as Keith lines his shoes up carefully, lying the laces in an ‘x’ over each shoe. Clean and careful, nothing too messy. Keith looks down, hair falling across his eyes. He should probably cut it soon, but for now it’s good for hiding his face. “I don’t sleep very well.”

  “I would’ve thought you did everything perfectly,” Lance drawls as he leans against the wall, long legs stretched out his foot almost brushing against his own. Is … is Lance flirting? Or trying to show off? Is there a difference? Keith bites his lips and slides back onto the mat, stretching his legs up in the air in a perfect 90-degree angle before slowly lowering them down toward his head. Two can play at this game. Lance lets out a slow, appreciative whistle that should feel mocking, but somehow doesn’t. “Wow, you’re really flexible. No wonder you can do all that weird bendy stuff during practice. You’re like a twizzler person.”

  “Or a gummy bear,” Keith agrees with a small smirk, rolling out from the ball he’s in and landing on his feet. Keith stretches his arms out toward the slick metal bar on the wall, gripping it with one hand. Then Keith swings his right leg up there, stretching his arms down it without breaking eye contact with Lance. “Your scores said that so were you.”

  Lance raises an eyebrow as he takes a step toward Keith, licking his lips a little as he stands next to Keith, throwing a leg up on the bar too, ankle brushing against Keith’s for a second before he slides it a little further on the wall. Keith’s eyes widen as he glances over at Lance. Lance scoffs and pulls his foot back a little, but there’s something deeper, richer about his voice when he next speaks. “Is that a challenge?”

  “Only if you want it to be,” Keith answers with a smirk, his own voice coming out raspier than he expected as he slides his leg down in one graceful motion, flipping the other leg up almost at the exact same time. Lance’s eyebrows shoot up, mouth hanging open for half a second, and Keith’s smirk only grows. Keith guesses those ballet lessons Shiro made him take came in handy after all.  

  “Oh, you’re on mullet,” Lance tells him as he leans back into a near perfect back bend, glancing up at Keith with a smirk of his own. Keith can’t stop his look of surprise, eyebrows shooting up as he watches Lance’s body bend. Then Keith grins, leaning back to mirror his posture.

  Keith and Lance go through all the different moves they can think of, from human pretzels to flamingos. At one point they hang off a high bar like bats, ankles wrapped tight around the bar and arms crossed, seeing who can hold the position longest. They both fall off at about the same time, Keith letting out a small groan as he hits the ground. He manages to get up faster though, and he wonders if he feels less pain than other people.

  But Keith pushes the thought aside, because he’s having fun right now and for once he doesn’t want to ruin that. Keith likes the little moments he’s had with the team: studying with Shiro, training with Allura, lunches and arguments about alien life with Pidge, watching Hunk work on his machines and asking him about his vegetables, and bickering and watching movies with Lance. All of it feels nice, safe and warm in a way Keith isn’t used to and scares him. But Keith thinks he’ll miss the feeling when he becomes a spy, so he wants to soak in as much of it as he can now.

  “Well, I think we can agree that I win with the arms, but you’ve got me beat on the legs,” Lance says with a grin as he pokes Keith on the shoulder, pulling him back out of his own head and back into reality. Keith turns to him, biting his lip as he takes in Lance’s bright blue eyes, all of the varying shades and lines and – Keith couldn’t make them go away if he wanted to, he doesn’t think. Lance grins as he leans in, so they’re almost nose to nose. “But just you wait, Song.”

  “Oh, the harder you practice, the harder I’ll practice,” Keith teases as he leans in a little too, cocking his to the left and grinning confidently. Lance lets out a small scoff, shaking his head as he pulls back a little. Keith follows suit, leaning against the wall and turning his gaze away from Lance’s eyes to the floor. Keith smirks down at the mat, voice dropping a little though he’s not sure why. Keith finds himself meeting Lance’s eyes again, almost against his will. “Besides, you should see what I can do when I’m focused.”

  “Well then maybe we should do this again sometime,” Lance murmurs, voice the same tone as Keith’s and gaze half-lidded as he mirrors Keith’s posture. Wait, it this flirting?

  Keith stares with wide eyes, flushing a little as he stares over at Lance. He’s waiting for the punchline or for Lance to make another move or – anything that gives him a sign of what’s going on here. But Lance just keeps beaming at him like nothing happened. So maybe nothing did? Do people flirt with someone they’ve known for six weeks and been friends with for about three? Is that a thing? Keith shakes his head, glancing up at the ceiling and praying Lance hasn’t noticed how red his cheeks have gotten. “I – do you have hobbies?”

  “What?” Lance asks as he frowns tightly, eyebrows scrunching together. There’s almost something disappointed in his gaze, and Keith wonders if he said the wrong thing. But then Lance keeps staring at him, furrowing his brow more and more as he leans toward Keith.

  “Things you do. For fun,” Keith answers slowly, wincing a little as Lance continues to stare at him in mild disbelief. Okay, he knows Lance likes movies because they’ve watched a Disney movie marathon and a _DreamWorks_ one together, and six episodes of the Twilight Zone they tried to rank by how realistic the science was. But Lance probably likes other things, and as his … friend, Keith should know about them, right?   

  “Yeah, I know what a hobby is, Keith,” Lance retorts with a small scoff, coming close to rolling his eyes, only to stop as he catches Keith’s expression. Then he smiles, soft and almost a little sheepish and Keith has to wonder what his face’s doing right now. “Well, I worked part on my uncle’s farm, video games, I like to take photos, and I play the guitar? What about you?”

  “You play the guitar?” Keith asks as he raises an eyebrow, not able to keep the interest out of his voice. He loves listening to music, finds it calming for his … issue and just in general. And he bets Lance takes great photos, his powers probably mean he has a good eye for detail and – Lance is staring at him. Right. “Oh, well. I like to draw. Mostly just sketches and doodles, and I gardened before.”

  “Maybe we could do something together sometime, you could draw or garden while I play the guitar,” Lance throws out with a wide grin, gaze bright and easy as he walks toward the door. Keith nods, giving him a quick smile before he watches him go. The colors are just a little bit brighter lately, and Keith can’t tell if it’s because his powers are getting worse or because he finally, maybe has friends. He finds he doesn’t want to know the answer. Not yet.

  Keith leaves the gym and the rest of the week goes by quickly, days falling into an easy pattern of training and team meals and nights spent alone either drawing or researching his powers and how to remove them. He’s being doing the latter less lately though. Then Friday comes, and everything changes.

  Lance bursts into his bedroom without warning, waving at Keith before moving swiftly across the room. He’s wearing a bright white shirt and blue jacket that brings out his eyes, so Keith assumes he’s going out. This is also how he came in to demand that Keith come watch _The Twilight Zone_ with him and Hunk, so at first Keith doesn’t think much of it. Lance though, moves right past him and straight to his closet. Keith sits up on his bed, crossing his arms and staring over at Lance with a slight glare, because why is Lance going through his closet?

  It would probably be more effective to tell him to stop, but honestly, Keith wants to see where this is going. Lance turns around, grinning brightly as he lays a pair of skinny black jeans and pink v neck and a red button up on his bed. Keith stares at them and then up at Lance, forming his mouth into a small ‘o’ and scrunching his eyebrows together. Does Lance want his clothes? Lance can have them if he wants, Keith guesses, they’ll probably fit even if Lance is a little taller than him.

  “Here, where this and this, and my lucky bracelet because God knows you’ll need it,” Lance says as he saunters over even closer, dropping a red and black beaded bracelet into Keith’s lap. Keith stares at the bracelet and then back at the clothes because wait, Lance doesn’t want to borrow his clothes. He wants Keith to change out of his short-sleeved red hoodie and black basketball shorts. What?

  “Why are you picking out an outfit for me?” Keith asks after a beat, even as he picks up the shirt and lies it over his lap, hands spreading out over the soft material. He glances up at Lance and bites his lip, because this whole situation is making him nervous.

  “There’s a party at Dorm 12 and we’re going,” Lance tells him in a firm voice, pressing a hand against his hip. Lance leans forward and slides his free hand to his shoulder, as though his touch is supposed to make this situation seem normal and not even weirder. Why wouldn’t Lance ask Hunk or Allura or both of them before he asked to go with Keith? They’ve never gone to a party together before. Hell, Keith’s never even had a drink. Keith’s not someone you want at a party, he mostly just stands in the corner and leans against a wall glaring into space.

  Keith shakes his head, shrugging as Lance meets his gaze and looks a little more pleading. Keith feels kind of bad telling him no, but crowds aren’t his thing. “Maybe you are but I – “ 

  “Have never been to a party before and should go because I need to live, and all of my friends except Pidge and Shiro are going to be there? I knew you’d say that,” Lance throws out with a small grin, gaze full on pleading now, big blue eyes warm and soft as he leans toward Keith. Keith blinks up at Lance, trying to resist the pull of that soft gaze and warm grin, but … maybe parties wouldn’t be that that bad, if he’s there with a friend.

  “… Fine,” Keith mutters under his breath, brushing his hand through his hair with a small sigh. He feels like he’s going to regret this, in the long run. Lance grins brightly, pulling back and bouncing up and down for a few seconds, curls hitting his forehead gently before he dashes out of the room, so Keith can get dressed.

  And that’s how Keith finds himself in front of a stranger’s dorms 20 minutes later, pulling at the beaded bracelet on his wrist. He’s wearing the V-neck Lance picked out for him and the button up, but the shirt isn’t buttoned, and his sleeves are rolled up to his forearms (Lance said they looked better like that) and his black jeans and combat boots. Lance is next to him, looking far more natural in white shirt and cropped khakis and bright blue loafers, like he can just slide into any party and just blend right in, belong with anyone. His powers really do suit him.

  Lance pushes his way through the door, and suddenly Keith finds himself clinging to Lance’s side because everything is suddenly too much. The lights and sounds and scents are overwhelming, and his magic goes haywire before Keith can even take so much as a breath. The lights and sounds blend and meld together in a dizzying array Keith can’t make sense of, people growing blurry as his mind tries to protect itself from the over-stimulation of this party.

  “it’s really loud in here,” Keith whispers to Lance as he clings to his side, holding his arm without thinking about it. The denim of Lance’s jacket is a good mix of rough and soft, Keith tries to focus his attention on that instead of the whirling beats of the music and the lights. Keith swallows as Lance glances at him out of the corner of his eye, looking both amused and something else Keith can’t place, a light flush over his face.

  “Kind of the point of a party, Keith,” Lance answers with a small laugh as he twists around, Keith letting go of his hand with a small sigh. He hopes Lance didn’t hear it. Lance grins at him, pulling Keith closer to the dance floor, one hand finding its way to his waist. Okay, Keith’s pretty sure this is flirting. The lights aren’t so bad now, music still way too loud, but not as overwhelming as before. Maybe he can do this after all. “But here, stay close to me and I should be able to read your lips. Mine are saying a lot right now.”

  “Has that line ever worked?” Keith mumbles as he leans in closer to Lance, smirking a little as Lance’s blush deepens. Maybe he’s not so bad at this after all. Keith slides one hand to space between Lance’s shoulder and neck, feeling the soft, rough jean jacket there, and then his nerves come back as a flush comes over his own face.

  “I think it might be right now,” Lance answers him, this time being the one with a smirk as his other hand finds its way to Keith’s shoulder. Keith raises an eyebrow as Lance leans in because he’s going to kiss him, right? Does Keith want to kiss Lance?

  Lance is … he hated him and then they were friends, and he’s funny and charming and he explains pop culture references and doesn’t look at him like he’s something dangerous or something fragile. And on a shallower note, Lance is gorgeous, with his smattering of freckles and bright blue eyes and long limbs, and his smile, warm and bright like the sun. it pulls Keith in every time, centers him. Keith likes Lance, he wants to kiss him.

  Which is terrifying because Keith’s not supposed to let himself like anyone. And of course, as always when Keith is terrified, all hell breaks loose.

  Keith takes a step back suddenly, his vision slowly going dark until he can’t see anything, music dying to a light thrum in his head. He can’t feel Lance if he’s still touching him. Everything is gone. Keith takes a deep breath, trying to get back to his center – except then a girl screams. Keith can’t see, but now he can hear again, nervous whispers and awkward laughs, mutterings about the lights. The lights? Maybe it’s not Keith?

  Lance grabs his arm and Keith can feel his hand again, but he still can’t see – and neither can anyone else. His mother could control his own senses and everyone else’s too. That’s how she – Keith sees the fires flash in front of his eyes again. Maybe it’s not him, maybe it’s just the lights. Please let it be the lights. “Keith, I can’t see anything! I think someone blew a fuse, but the music came back – “

  “I have to go,” Keith shouts as he pulls away from Lance’s grip, pushing his way through the crowd of people, vision slowly clearing up as he gets to the back of the room. Keith hears whispers about the lights slowly going back on, someone else says they’re vision got blurry too. It’s not the lights. It’s _him_. Keith stares at Lance, eyes watering a bit as he takes a few steps back toward the door. Everything is painfully clear now. “I’m sorry, Lance.”

  Keith runs, not stopping until he gets back to his dorm room, sliding on the floor with shaking legs, pressing his hands into his hair. Keith lets out a strangled noise, half frustration and half tears, because they’re the same. His powers are the same as his mom’s.

  Then Keith takes a deep breath and googles the quickest way to remove magic because Keith’s always been proactive and suddenly surgery doesn’t seem as scary.

* * *

  Lance stands in the middle of the gym next to Hunk, anxiously glancing around the room for the only member of their team not there yet. Keith. Last night started off well, better than even, with Keith looking at him like he was the sun and for a good minute there Lance thought they were going to kiss or something. Then the lights went out and the sound died, and Keith got spooked and ran out of the club like he’d been struck by lightning. It was … weird since Lance has seen Keith take on scarier things in training no problem, but hey, he’s not here to judge.

  He just wants to know if Keith’s okay, since he hasn’t seen him since, Keith’s door firmly locked when Lance got back.

  Hunk seems to sense his nervousness, shooting him a quick smile and bumping his shoulder, though Lance can tell by the way he scrunches his eyebrows together that he’s starting to get worried too. Keith’s never late to training. Lance takes a few steps toward the door, catching Shiro’s gaze out of the corner of his eye. He looks older all of the sudden, face lined with worry and lips pressed into a thin line as he watches the door. Lance feels like he’s not being told something here, and maybe something big.

  But there’s no more time for worry as Keith suddenly bursts through the door, arms crossed and a tight scowl on his face as he comes to stand several feet away from all of them. Pidge raises an eyebrow, but Keith studiously ignores it until Pidge shrugs, moving closer to Hunk as she shows him something on her computer. Lance guesses it’s up to him to get to the bottom of this. He is Keith’s second (okay, maybe third) closest friend here.

  “Keith, there you are buddy, I didn’t see you at all after you got back to the dorms last night,” Lance calls as he saunters over to Keith’ side, trying to keep his voice light even in the face of Keith’s obvious frustration. Something about the turn of his lip, the anxiety in his gaze, makes Lance think it’s not with him. Still doesn’t make him less worried. Lance thinks back to last night, to if anything happened besides the lights going out that would’ve made Keith this upset. Maybe the music? Maybe he really hated being overstimulated? “Are you okay? Was it the music – “

  “I’m fine!” Keith snaps as he crosses his arms even tighter again his chest, voice cracking a little on the ‘fine’. Keith quickly glances away from him and toward the wall, as though it will save him from Lance’s concern. No dice.

  “You don’t sound fine,” Lance mutters as he pokes Keith on the shoulder, hoping to get some kind of reaction out of him. Even annoyed at him is better than this self-directed wildness. But Keith only shoots him another hot glare and takes a step back like he’s been burned. Lance swallows, gazing down at the floor so Keith can’t see the hurt in his gaze. Lance thought Keith liked him, but he guesses it was all in his head. Hell, maybe that’s why Keith is upset. “Okay, okay, let’s just focus on training. Maybe that will cure your migraine. Mullet.”

  A few minutes later Shiro tells them to go on a run through fighting the robots up to level 5 and then to make their way back to their base without getting caught. It’s a simple exercise, and Lance slides and glides his way through it, morphing into Hunk for swing and then down into Pidge to crawl underneath where the droids can’t see for another. Allura’s copying Pidge’s ability, the two of them working in tandem to take down droid after droid, Allura smiling proudly when she manages to twist the wires off with her mind.

  Everyone's doing a great job, right until they get to the point where they’re supposed to stop, and Keith doesn’t.  

  Instead he lunges forward, under the arm of the level 6 droid, turning to match him blow for blow. Keith’s a skilled fighter, more than the rest of them, so he’s not losing. It doesn’t change the fact Shiro told them all to stop. Lance wouldn’t put it past Keith to show off, except the sheer force in which he’s hitting each droid, the sloppiness of his motions, feels off. Something else is going on here, something that makes Lance’s stomach lurch.

  “Keith, stop it!” Lance calls as he takes a few steps forward, hand on the small stun gun on his waist. He doesn’t want to rush in there and stun some droids just so he can drag Keith out, but he will if he has to. They’re a team and teams don’t leave anyone behind. Not even when they’re being impulsive idiots. Lance comes up to stand a few feet behind Keith, hands on his hips as he raises his voice a little bit. “We’re not even supposed to go that far in this session!”

  Hunk takes a few steps forward until he’s next to Lance, scrunching his eyebrows together as they watch Keith ignore Lance and take another swing at a level 6 droid, smashing his knife right through its chest. Metal hits the ground with a deafening cry. At least it’s over now. Except then Keith lunges at the level 7 and 8’s. Hunk’s gaze goes from confused to concerned, eyebrows sloping down as he yells after Keith. “Hey Keith, Lance is right – “

  “We’re never going to defeat Zarkon if we just give up!” Keith shouts back, voice rough and a little too high to be normal, slashing at another droid. He’s struggling now, getting slapped back and forth like a doll. Keith ducks under the swing of one droid’s blade, only to get hit in the back by another. Lance stiffens in sympathy, because that had to hurt. But Keith just twists on his heel, turning toward another droid, voice even more frustrated than before. “This is war, not _War Games_!”

  Lance bites his lip as he takes another step forward, pulling out his small stun gun. Allura is closer now too, turning her hand into a drill as she mimics Hunk, who looks nervous but also ready to try and drag Keith to safety. Lance has no idea why Shiro hasn’t called end time for this session yet. Keith’s going to get hurt. “Good reference, but this is training so – “

  “Next time it might not be!” Keith snarls, voice tight and broken, as though he knows that from experience. His jabs are getting more and more sloppy, moves less instinctual than just impulsive as a level 8 robot knocks his blade out from his hand, sending it flying through the air and Keith hitting the ground with a thud that makes Lance’s heart hurt. Keith scrambles backwards, expression terrifying now that Lance can see it a little better. His lips are twisted into a snarl, body ready to fight, but his eyes are blank, empty of any emotion. Keith’s working on fumes here and Lance needs to get him out of it.

  “Keith! That’s enough, go shower,” Shiro says at the same time Lance jumps forward, preparing to shoot the droid leaning over Keith. The robots all stop in unison, looming over Keith. Keith stares back at them, gaze going from empty to something Lance doesn’t see coming. Fear.

  Keith nods at Shiro wordlessly, not so much as offering a word of explanation to anyone else, except with his eyes and the way he curls in on himself as he walks toward the door. Lance considers following him, but then Shiro calls for the next mission plan and Lance turns his attention back to the team. They can all deal with Keith later. They have a mission right now.

  After training, Lance goes to the roof to destress and take a few photos of campus, to find some beauty in nature to get out of his own head. Insecurities and questions are racing together. Why doesn’t Keith like him anymore when he did just the night before? What kind of hero can he be when he hesitated for so long to save his own friend from a bunch of droids? Why did Keith go against protocol in the first place? What’s going on with him, why is always wincing during battle and why is he always staring off into the distance? Is Hunk annoyed with him for stealing his socks?

  All Lance knows is that he wants to get his mind off the Keith situation, which is why it’s such a bummer to find Keith sitting on the ledge.

  Keith stares at Lance with those same blank eyes – too blank - Lance realizes after a beat. His gaze is empty, in a way that feels wrong for Keith who, despite his air of mystery, is one of the most emotional people Lance has ever met. Lance realizes this also isn’t the first time he’s seen Keith’s eyes like that, distant and empty and … are his eyes glowing? Lance takes a step closer, trying to investigate when Keith’s gaze snaps to attention. They’re not glowing now, if they ever were.

  “Lance? What are you doing here?” Keith asks in a short voice, taking a step away from Lance and crossing his arms against his chest. Lance raises an eyebrow, pressing his lips into a tight frown as he stares over at Keith. Keith stares back, eyebrows slowly scrunching together and some of his anger fading into his other main emotion, confusion. Looks like Keith isn’t going to catch on after all.

  “What am I doing here?” Lance says, blinking owlishly, pressing a hand against his hip as he leans in so there are only few inches between them. Keith crosses his arms a little more tightly around his chest but doesn’t move. Neither of them has ever been the type to back down from a challenge. “This is the rooftop of our university.”

  “Yeah, but you usually hang out by the pool,” Keith points out in a tight voice, taking a step back and then shifting around Lance, gaze glued on the door to the courtyard. His expression is so intense Lance almost misses the way his shoulders are trembling. Almost.

  “Are you trying to tell me where I can hang out?” Lance asks after a beat when Keith says nothing else and also makes no move toward the door, as though he expects Lance to be the one to go. No chance, not when Lance still needs answers. Lance takes a step toward him, reaching a hand out and then pulling it back when Keith swings around wildly. He doesn’t look angry so much as terrified. “I was going to take photos.”

  “Oh. I – mean, you can, I can go to the room or a different roof,” Keith mutters as he presses his eyebrows together, throwing one arm out dramatically. Lance raises an eyebrow, because he was pretty sure he and Keith were friends now, so he has no idea where this sudden rejection is coming from, but he doesn’t like it one bit. Where’s the Keith who almost kissed him last night? Keith takes a few deep breaths, closing his eyes for a second before he looks back at Lance. His gaze is soft this time, pleading in a way Lance has never seen on the other boy’s face before. “Look, I just need to be alone right now, okay?”

  “Why? You’re alone all the time,” Lance points out with a slow smile, trying to keep his tone light even as his curiosity eats away at him. He needs to know Keith’s secret, needs to understand what and why he’s hiding from them, even from Shiro.

“I – it’s different this time, okay?” Keith whispers just loud enough for Lance to hear, gaze downcast as he lets his bangs fall across his forehead. He’s trying to hide his eyes, Lance realizes, wondering what emotions are showing there that he doesn’t want Lance to see. He already knows Keith is afraid, and he can’t imagine there could be much worse than that for someone like Keith Song. Then Keith looks up at him, just for a second, and Lance feels his heart leap to his throat.

“Your eyes,” Lance mutters, raising his eyebrows as he stares over at Keith, who blinks owlishly at him. Keith cocks his head a bit with the same confusion from earlier. Normally Lance thinks it’s cute. “They’re just kind of purple.”

Keith snaps his eyes shut wordlessly. He doesn’t move. Lance leaves the roof with more questions than answers.

* * *

  Keith knows he should go talk to Shiro or Dean Coran or Kolivan or – someone about his powers. About how they’re growing, changing, and Keith doesn’t see a way to keep them at bay without severing his magic. Keith doesn’t go to anyone though. Instead he punches his way through his feelings, hitting the droids and getting knocked down in a smooth rhythm that comforts him. It’s only when he gets too in his head, too anxious, that things get bad. If Keith could just disconnect from himself completely, become a different person, then things would be better. For everyone. But until then, he can punch and focus on the raw feeling in his hands.

  Keith mutters “five” under his breath, diving under the swing of a droid as he lunges toward one to his left. Normally five isn’t an issue for him, but Keith’s been in here for two hours already and all the emotions swirling deep in his gut are pushing their way to the surface. Keith doesn’t want to feel this way, all of this fear and anxiety and guilt that used to at least be anger (didn’t it?) that holds him back. This longing for friends, for the way Pidge talks to him about science or Hunk laughs or Allura pushes them all or Lance smiles, that keeps Keith from being what he’s always been. Alone.

  Keith’s never needed anyone since he was 10, but then somewhere along the way he left himself need Shiro, and he’s starting to let himself need the rest of the team. It’s not fair or right. Keith comes with baggage the rest of them can’t imagine, not even Shiro, and he works better alone. Keith needs – flashes of angry, betrayed expressions, of being left at doorsteps – to punch something, to get hit, the reality of physical pain letting the rest of him go numb.

  He barely notices the door open, guessing whoever it is will just go to one of the other training sessions. Keith takes another swing at the droid, getting smacked in the jaw instead. Keith smirks, eyes wild as he slams toward the droid. It’s his mother and all her crimes, Zarkon and all the lives he stole, The Witch and the way she takes away people’s free will. It’s all the bad guys, all the injustices Keith wants to right and all the people he wants to save. He wants to be good, he wants to be -

  “End training Session,” Lance calls out, making Keith almost fall over mid swing, knife flying to the ground. He watches as the robots slowly come to a stop, returning to their original stance. The red in their eyes fade away to nothing. Keith stares at them for a few moments, not turning to face Lance just yet. Keith needs time to collect himself, to figure out what he needs to do. No, he knows what he needs to do. But being around Lance, with his sarcasm and kind but challenging eyes, makes that harder than Keith can let it be. He peels off his gloves to buy himself an extra minute, tossing them to the ground mindlessly.

  “I wasn’t finished,” Keith mumbles as he finally turns toward Lance, crossing his arms against his chest and trying to keep his gaze from meeting Lance’s. he can just make out his hand on his hip from here, the slight slump of his shoulders. None of it points toward happiness.

  “Yeah, the way you’re wincing every time you move your arms and the rasp in your voice says otherwise, buddy,” Lance throws out in a voice that’s at once exasperated and worried, making Keith wince. He didn’t think it was so obvious. Mostly because he doesn’t feel the pain as much as he thinks he probably should. Senses can go in either direction, after all. This time Keith can’t keep himself from looking up to meet Lance’s gaze. Lance’s eyes are warm and a little watery, eyebrows sloping down as he glances over at him. Keith shrugs a little and gives Lance a weak smile, hoping that will be enough to get Lance to leave him alone.

  No such luck.

  Instead, Lance takes a few steps toward him, until there’s barely any space between them. He slides a hand onto Keith’s shoulder, giving him a tender smile that makes Keith’s heart beat just a bit faster. The colors in his uniform, the thin blue lines, are suddenly more vibrant and the air heavy around him. His arms feel like someone’s stabbing tiny pins in every single cell. He hopes he’s not projecting that onto Lance.  

  “I’m fine,” Keith mumbles as he takes a step away from Lance, crossing his arms and pulling in on himself as much as he can. Keith shoots Lance his coldest glare, mouth twisted into a snarl. Keith hopes it will be enough to push Lance away, to make Lance realize that Keith isn’t worth the effort. It’s been enough for every foster home he’s ever been in.

  “Yeah, no offense, but as much of a hothead you are, you actually usually don’t overdo it like this,” Lance tells him instead of leaving, because apparently nothing’s going to go Keith’s way. Keith thinks that might be a compliment, but he’s not sure, so instead he just lets out a small groan, trying to keep his glare from fading into something weaker, more anxious. He can’t let Lance knows anything’s wrong, it’s not his job to carry Keith’s burden. “So, either tell me what’s going on, or I’m gonna talk to Coran and Shiro – “

  “Look, I know you’re trying to be nice or whatever, but I don’t need anyone to take care of me, I never have,” Keith says coldly as he takes another few steps back toward the backdoor exit. Lance scrunches his eyebrows together, shaking his head a bit, and this time Keith’s offended. He doesn’t need Lance’s help or even Shiro’s. Keith knows what he needs to do and he’s going to do it, just like he always has. “I can take care of myself, I always have.”

  Lance puts a hand on his hip, letting out a slow exhale. Then he takes a few steps forward, closing the gap between them. He meets Keith’s glare with a determined look of his own there, but there’s a warmth Keith doesn’t understand and that he knows he doesn’t deserve there. “Part of being on a team is letting yourself rely on people.”

  “We don’t know how much longer I’ll be on the team,” Keith sighs as lets his arms fall to the side, biting his lip as he turns his gaze back down toward the floor. If he severs his magic, well, Keith doesn’t know what else it might do or change about him, how much any of his skills are influenced by his powers. He might have to completely re-train himself as a fighter or – well, whatever. The point is there are too many possibilities, too many risk factors, for him to keep being on the team. Keith’s more useful on his own now, let alone in the future where he either becomes like his mother or becomes something new, something he’s never known.

  “There’s that sunny attitude I like so much,” Lance quips with a hint of frustration, rolling his eyes. Then his gaze grows a little brighter, lips curling into a tight frown. “Look, everyone else on the team wants you to stay, but that means you gotta work with us, Keith.”

  “What are you talking about? I’ve been coming to practice every day,” Keith points out with a small scowl, crossing his arms as he shoots Lance a hurt look. Keith knows he doesn’t belong on the team, that he never could, but he has been giving it his all. And Keith, well there are some things he’s not secure about, but his skills as a fighter or a spy have never been a part of that. Keith knows he’s good at this, even if it is the only thing, and he’s not going to let Lance take that away from him.

  “And today you didn’t listen to anyone, not even Shiro,” Lance says slowly as he takes another few steps toward him, voice rising on Shiro’s name as though it’s a prayer or a curse. Keith feels like it’s both, gaze flicking to the shoulder as he tries to gather his thoughts and also look for an exit.

  “I had a bad day,” Keith mutters after a beat, not tearing his gaze away from the ceiling for a few seconds as he balls his hands into fists. Keith glances down and meets Lance’s gaze, which looks apologetic and worried all at the same time. At least Lance doesn’t really think he’s taking the mission or team for granted. That’s something at least. Keith takes a deep breath, trying to push all of his emotions and the low buzz building in the back of his mind down. all he has to do is stay calm. “It happens. Can we just drop it?”

  “Okay, okay, I’m just trying to look out for you,” Lance answers him in a voice that’s just a little too nice, a hint of patronizing there and in the way, he raises an eyebrow as he glances over at Keith. Keith’s vision grows sharper as the look makes his stomach churn. He doesn’t need Lance’s pity. He doesn’t need anything from anyone, he can do this alone.

  “I already said you didn’t need to!” Keith snaps back before he can stop himself, emotions he’s been trying to hold back bubbling to the surface, Keith stomps a few feet away, crossing his arms as he shoots Lance a tight glare over his shoulders. He’s torn between growling and sticking out his tongue and just full on crying, not able to keep his emotions inside but also not able to make himself leave. Lance does that him, brings out these emotions, some good, right now all bad, and keeps Keith there, riled up and talking when he needs to keep his mouth shut.

  Lance gives him a tight look, letting out a small huff of frustration as though Keith’s being the difficult one here. “Well, I want to!”

  “Why?” Keith asks before he can stop himself, scrunching his eyebrows together in confusion. Keith doesn’t usually ask these questions out loud, not when Shiro says he believes in him or Allura asks him to hang out or with Lance now. Keith doesn’t understand why they care, what they’re getting out of it. He knows he’s not … Keith knows he’s better off as a spy, as a weapon, and he doesn’t understand why they don’t see it that way.

  Keith also doesn’t want to still be around when they do.

  “Because I like you, you idiot!” Lance groans as though it should be obvious. Lance frowns tightly, wincing a little as Keith stares at him in open-mouthed shock. Keith cocks his head, opening and closing his mouth, because he doesn’t think Lance is lying, but he doesn’t understand why or why his not getting it hurts Lance so much. Lance bites his lip and glances away from Keith. Then he leans over and picks up his knife with a gloved hand, holding it up and clicking the sheath into place without a word. “Here take your stupid knife and go sign up to be a spy then.”

  “Fine!” Keith snaps as he holds his hands out, ripping the knife from Lance’s hand. For a second, everything is the same tense as it has been, Lance’s brow furrowed and Keith scowling at him. Then, as though Keith’s in one of his nightmares, faint purple smoke starts to rise from his skin. It grows thicker with every passing second. Keith’s mouth falls open in horror, eyes growing wider and hands starting to shake around the knife. Lance’s eyes are as wide as his own when Keith meets his gaze. “This isn’t what it looks like.”

  “Bullshit,” Lance whispers after a beat, gaze narrowing as he takes a few steps forward, Keith resisting the urge to drop the knife and flee. That wouldn’t be fair to Lance. Lance takes the knife back with one hand, tossing it aside at the same time he grips Keith’s shoulder with his other hand. It’s not until the other arm snakes up to grab his other shoulder, Lance’s gaze as curious as it is concerned, that Keith realizes there will be no escape. He just hopes he has enough answers.


	4. Past Meets Present

Lance stares over at Keith, trying to understand what exactly just happened. Keith's a non-magic user, and yet purple smoke is rising from his hand the same way it would when any magic user touches an anti-magic weapon. But Keith holds that extendable knife all the time and … wait. He only does while wearing gloves. Shit. Shit. Keith is … Keith is a witch! Keith is a magic user, which means that Keith has been in physical pain every training session and putting himself in like, a ridiculous amount of danger. How dare he do that just as he and Lance are becoming friends!

  And wait, powers usually develop between 10 to 12 years old and even if Keith's a late bloomer, he wouldn't be this late. Which means … Keith's been putting himself in danger since he was 13. Did Shiro know? Does anyone but him know? Lance takes several shaky breaths, staring at Keith as concern and confusion and anger all mix together in his chest, gaze locked on Keith, who is breathing heavily, eyes wild as he seems to realize that Lance knows he's secret.

  "Look, I see why you think it's bullshit, because of the smoke. That looks really bad. But umm, I it's not - I lace my knife with dry ice sometimes. For extra strong hits," Keith explains as his gaze travels across the gym, landing everywhere except on Lance. Lance stares over at him, raising an eyebrow as he takes in Keith's words. Then he frowns tightly, shaking his head a bit in disbelief, because Keith couldn't have - there's no way - how could Keith keep having magic a secret for like 7 years if he was that bad of a liar? It doesn't make any sense.

  "Keith, what the hell was that?" Lance finally spits out, pressing one hand against his hip as he takes another step toward Keith. Keith blinks a little, mouth falling open before his gaze hits the floor below. His arms are hanging loosely to the side, smoke finally fading away. Lance takes a deep breath, giving the man in front of him a once over. Keith looks anxious, scared, and well, Lance doesn't get it. he has magic. 80% of their school has magic. why would Keith think he needed to hide his? "I mean, if you're gonna try and lie to me about not having magic, at least make it halfway believable."

  "I - look, I don't have magic," Keith mumbles as he crosses his arms, finally glancing at Lance out of the corner of his eye. Lance raises an eyebrow as he gives Keith palm a pointed look as the very last bit of smoke drifts away from Keith's skin. Keith lets out a small scoff, shaking his head as he meets Lance's gaze with a pinched one of his own. "Practically."

  "Practically?" Lance repeats, scrunching his eyebrows together as he tries to figure out what that means here. Does Keith mean that his powers aren't practical for battle, so he doesn't want to get trained in them? That's kind of … well stupid at best, and even if it's true, it doesn't explain why Keith would lie about them. Maybe he means they're impractical? Does he have probability stuff? Is that why some days he's well-dressed and other days he looks like a disaster? Lance wants answers, any kind of answer really. "What does that even mean?"

  "I don't use it, ever," Keith explains with a slight shrug, a hint of pride coming into his gaze as he glances over at Lance more fully. Lance waits for more info, an explanation of why he doesn't use his powers or why he's proud of that even though it's probably going to get him killed. Someone not using their powers can cause all kinds of illnesses and magical buildup, and the consequences are rarely pretty, so Keith must have a good reason. But no reason comes.

  "That's not practical, that's the opposite of practical!" Lance shouts as he wrings his hands out, too frustrated to stay still anymore. Keith's eyes go wide as he stares at Lance, mouth falling open in shock for a second as he tries to catch his bearings. Lance doesn't give him a chance, sticking his right index finger out toward Keith as carries on with his (totally correct) rant. "You're putting yourself in so much danger, every single other anti-magic user could take you out in a few moves and you wouldn't have any way to protect yourself, because you didn't tell anyone else you needed protection!"

  "I don't need protection, I can take care of myself!" Keith shouts as he takes a step toward Lance, voice defensive as though he hadn't just had smoke coming out of his hand. Keith's gaze is blazing as he stares over at Lance, but there's something about that fire that makes Lance sad too. Maybe it's how little Keith cares about burning himself. "And if I can't, that's my problem to deal with, not yours!"

  "Except you're part of a team, Keith!" Lance cries, shaking his head a little as he tries to find a way to get some sense in that thick head of Keith's. There has to be a way to get him to listen to reason even if he doesn't mind the idea of getting stabbed with an anti-magic knife. Lance doesn't get that because he does and - wait. If Keith has magic he's not trained in, if Keith isn't safe from getting taken down by those weapons … what happens when he's on a mission alone with Hunk or Pidge? "Every time you put yourself in danger, you're putting the rest of us in danger too! I get that you don't care about yourself, I guess, but I thought you cared a little about us."

  "Of course I do!" "Keith snaps, but this time his voice is raspy, eyes watering a bit even as he tries to stay angry. Lance sees the hurt in his gaze, scared and small, but he's too upset to bring himself to care right now. He thought he knew Keith, that he was his friend, and now everything he thought he got might be a lie. "I just - look, this is why I didn't want to be on a team in the first place!"

  "What? Because you can't trust anyone with anything? Because for some reason you think magic is evil or some bullshit?" Lance yells, voice rising on every word as he takes a step closer, hands trembling slightly. He's not really thinking as he speaks anymore, letting his emotions carry his voice as he stares Keith down. it's a strangely freeing feeling, though there's an acid at the back of his throat that makes Lance think he'll regret this later. He knows for sure he will when the next few words come spilling out of his mouth. "Because you're a selfish asshole - "

  "Shut up!" Keith cries, and oh, this time he is crying, tears in the corner of his gaze and Lance thinks he might have gone too far. He's hurt, hurt that Keith doesn't trust him, doesn't care enough to, but … whatever reason Keith has for keeping this a secret, it clearly runs deeper than Lance thought at first. Lance takes a deep breath, eyes rows sloping down as Keith lets out a sound that's close to a sob. "No, no, because I'm not - look, I'm not a team player, okay? That's why I asked to be a spy in the first place."

  Lance takes a deep breath and tries to steady himself, because fighting with Keith isn't going to get him the answers he needs to help Keith or the team. They need Keith, he's party of their team, their family, and he's the most agile fighter on the team. And Keith is hurting himself by not using magic, all those grey circles under his eyes and wan complexion suddenly making sense in a way that makes Lance's stomach hurt. "Stop using that as an excuse. No one wants a spy who doesn't trust them either. Why don't you trust us? Why don't you trust me? I kind of thought we were bonding here."

  "We were! We are, it's not that I don't trust you, there was no point in telling you because this is temporary," Keith says, anger slowly draining out of his voice as he slumps down to the ground, looking a bit like a slowly deflating balloon. He doesn't stop until he's kneeling on the floor, head hanging down, so his bangs fall across his face. Keith closes his eyes and takes a few deep breaths, tears stopping as he calms himself, though Lance can still see that he's trembling.

  "Yeah, that's not how magic works, Keith. It's a part of you, rather you want it or not," Lance says as he crouches down, the warmth in his tone belying the hint of sarcasm in his voice. Keith glances up at him with wide eyes, mouth formed into that small 'o' Lance finds so cute. Then something strange happens, Keith lifts up his hands and covers his ears, expression pained in the same way as when their neighbors played their music too loud late at night. He's digging his fingers into his scalp and Lance kind of wants to pull them away. "Why do you keep covering your ears?"

  "It's too loud in here," Keith mutters as his face flushes, gaze dropping to the floor as he bites his lip. Lance frowns slightly, cocking his head to the side, because there's no music in hear at all, no sounds but his voice and the occasional chatter from outside. For lance, it's almost too quiet. "Look, my powers are … sensory based. I can change my senses and … I can affect other people's."

  "That's what happened at the dorm party," Lance says as the realization hits him, Keith's confusion at the beginning of the night and then the lights … oh. Keith took away everyone's sense of vision. No wonder he freaked out and ran, but … that might not have happened, either, if Keith was training with his powers. Why doesn't Keith get that?

  "They're tied to my emotions, the more I feel - good or bad - the more my senses go off," Keith explains flatly, gaze bitter as he stares across the room into nothingness. Lance nods slightly, expression softening a bit because, as his dark purple hair right now shows, he can kind of understand that feeling. Not feeling in control, losing any sense of it, has to be scary, especially for a kid. But didn't anyone tell Keith this is just how magic works? Keith lets out a sound that's halfway between a growl and a sigh, so Lance thinks the answer is a no. "I was pretty good at controlling for it, for a while. But it's been getting worse and worse for the past few months ever since I came here."

  "Look, I get why that would be scary for you, since you have … a lot of emotions and you kind of bottle them up a lot," Lance says, speaking a little faster to get past the blunt part of his speech to the nice part. Keith snorts, shaking his head as stares at Lance out of the corner of his eye, looking amused even through all the anxiety and fear still clouding his gaze. Lance doesn't know why Keith's afraid of him, but he wants to fix it. "But that's why you should let us help you and talk to us about your powers and how you're feeling, instead of just keeping everything to yourself. It's not fair to us, either."

  "I know but look - Lance I'm going to take care of this, okay," Keith assures him with a slight smile, though his gaze is still more haunted than anything else. None of that makes Lance feel any less confused or hurt. Keith is his friend, so why does he think Lance can't help him with this? Does he think Lance - and the rest of the team - are incompetent at magic? "You don't need to worry about this or me."

  "That's not how friendship works Keith, or magic. Look, I can't do this right now and it doesn't seem like this is going to go anywhere so just - come talk to me when you're actually ready to talk," Lance says as he stands up, giving Keith a smile that's half apologetic and half hopeful. Keith nods tiredly, curling in on himself more instead of getting up. Lance watches him for a few moments, wondering if it's even okay to leave Keith when he's this upset. But no, Lance knows it is, that it's the right choice. He needs time to process what he just learned, and he's pretty sure Keith needs to process knowing that he knows.

  Lance walks out of the gym without another word, not stopping until he's back on his bedroom and can lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling, not sure what he can or should do to help Keith if anything. After all, he's just Lance.

* * *

  Keith walks out of the gym and into his dorm room, past his own bedroom and hesitating at the door a few rooms down. Keith doesn't want to be a burden on anyone, not on Lance like he was a few seconds ago, and not on Shiro. But Shiro is the only one who knows he has powers, well besides Lance, now, and he needs advice. Keith doesn't want things to change, wants to keep on ignoring his powers like he has been for years. But lately they've been harder to ignore, and he knows Lance probably won't just drop it no matter how much Keith wants him too.

  But if anyone has an answer for him, it'll be Shiro. he's the who taught Keith about self-control in the first place, the one who taught him how to fight. He's the only reason Keith's gotten this far and he just - he needs someone to help him get a little further, just one more time. So, Keith knocks on his door, pounds on it until Shiro suddenly pulls it open a bit, eyebrows scrunched together as he glances down at Keith.  

  "Shiro? Can I talk to you?" Keith calls as he pushes Shiro's door open just a crack, shooting the other man a tight look. Shiro glances over at him, cocking his head to the right as he takes in the way Keith is trembling, hands pressed into fists as he waits by the door, because he knows Shiro has a lot to do, between leading their team and being a hero in his own right. Keith would understand if he doesn't have time for Keith's problems too. Keith swallows and looks up at him, wondering how bad he looks as Shiro pushes several books aside and pulls him inside. Keith glances around the room, lights way too bright and air thick with the scent of paper and a hint of smoke.

  Shiro gives him a quick look and nods a little, eyebrows scrunching together as he pulls the door close behind Keith. Keith takes a few steps past him into the room, glancing around and trying to find something to focus on besides the pixelated images in Shiro's poster. "Sure buddy, what's up? You don't look so great, are you feeling okay?"

  "Not really," Keith admits as he sits on the edge of Shiro's bed, trying to ignore the soft feeling of the comforter as he runs his hands over his thumb. He just wants his senses to go back to normal, or what Keith imagines is normal. It's hard to remember how everything felt when he was 10 now that so many years have passed. Keith can feel Shiro staring at him from across the room, and he looks up to find worried eyes and a tight frown. Shiro looks almost as anxious as Keith feels. Keith takes a deep breath before he speaks. "Look, Lance found out about me."

  "What?" Shiro asks gently, frowning as he comes to sit next to Keith on the bed, one hand brushing against his shoulder. His gaze only grows tighter, but there is a hint of confusion there too, as though he doesn't understand what Keith means. Keith blinks owlishly, turning his gaze toward his lap and biting his lip because he doesn't get how Shiro doesn't know where they're going with this. He's seen the looks Shiro's been giving him in practice when his powers affect him, the hint of disappointment when Keith winces or stops for a few minutes. Did, did Shiro forget?

  "About my powers. He knows that I have magic, which I know you know too," Keith reminds him, because they haven't talked about it - not out loud at least - since the first time Shiro hinted at the fact, so maybe Shiro's pretending not to know? Shiro only looks more confused, but there's something else in his gaze that Keith doesn't understand. It's looks scared yet discerning at the same time, and for a second that look takes over completely as Shiro's hand tightens on his shoulder. Then it's gone again.  "I don't - I'm not going to use my magic but -"

  "Still?" Shiro asks tightly, voice rising on each word as he gives Keith a hard look. It's not a look he's ever gotten from Shiro before, and it makes Keith's heart start pounding faster. Shiro takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a few minutes and then gives Keith a small smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, though his gaze is a bit warmer than it was a moment ago. Though not by much. "Look Keith, you know I support your decision not to use magic if that's possible. But if your control is slipping up enough that other people are noticing, I think it's time you start thinking about how realistic never using magic is for you."

  "It's not like that, I didn't lose control!" Keith cries as he shakes his head because this isn't - he didn't screw up this time. Well okay, Keith shouldn't have grabbed the knife, but Lance tossed it out at him. What was Keith supposed to do? Let it fall to the ground? People could've gotten hurt. Keith glances up at Shiro and bites his lips, fingers squeezing over his thumb more tightly. "Lance threw me my knife and I caught it by mistake."

  "Yeah, not exactly giving me a lot of hope for this not becoming an issue during a mission," Shiro murmurs in a voice so cold that Keith can feel it sliding up his spine and through his veins. Keith doesn't understand why Shiro is acting this way, why he's so mad and distant all of the sudden. Keith made a mistake, a big one, but he hasn't screwed up any practice sessions. At least not because of hiding his powers. Keith swallows deeply as Shiro's gaze grows as hard as it was a few minutes ago. "I have to - you need to - put the team first."

  "I am! You know why I can't use magic!" Keith almost barks as he curls one hand into Shiro's too soft comforter, gaze locking into a small piece of dust on Shiro's windowsill. His eyes won't go back to normal no matter what he does, stuck in hyper focus. Keith takes another shaky breath as he tries to find some level of calm, of focus like Shiro's always talking about, but there just isn't any. Not when Shiro is sitting here staring at him like he wishes he'd picked any other kid to mentor that day five years ago. Keith's not sure he can blame him. Most people don't think he's worth the effort, so this moment always happens sooner or later. Shiro is just the first ‘later’.

  "I know why you think you can't, because you'll end up like your mother," Shiro answers in a clipped voice, gaze harsh and angry in a way that makes Keith want to flinch. Keith feels like he's 10 years old and being sent from home to home again, everyone seeing a new thing to find frustrating or wrong about him. Too angry, too emotional, too impulsive, too selfish, and now, well, Keith figures now Shiro is about to tell him what he Is this time that was too much for everyone else.  "But you're becoming something worse. A coward. I'm disappointed in you Keith."

  This time Keith does flinch, eyes falling shut as his body shudders for a few seconds. He's been called a lot of things, none of them good, but this is a new one. It hurts as much as selfish did the first time he heard it, and Keith didn't even know that was possible. Keith sucks in a deep breath as he stares at the speck of dust from before. He's trying to keep from crying, but the tears are building in the back of his eyes and his voice is taking on the shaky quality he hates and has spent years erasing. None of this was supposed to happen. Keith was supposed to be able to handle this without anyone getting hurt or without losing anyone. He wasn't supposed to have anyone to lose. "Shiro -"

  "No, we're done here, Keith. Figure out what you want to do and what you want to be before the rest of us end up suffering because of it," Shiro snaps as he storms over to his door, pulling it over and giving Keith a hot glare that doesn't belong on Shiro's face. Keith can take a hint when he's been given it more than a dozen times before. Keith rolls to his feet, tears sliding his face as he walks toward the door. Keith stops near it, catching Shiro's gaze with a desperate stare as he leans toward him. Shiro stares back at him, eyes snapping shut for a few seconds. When they open, they're confused and apologetic, lost in a way Keith doesn't get.

  "Okay," Keith murmurs as he walks out the room, suddenly feeling too cold to stay in inside of it, too cold to argue anymore. He doesn't listen as he hears Shiro call his name, voice tinted with worry this time. Keith doesn't need to hear how he's a disappointment too.

  Keith takes a deep breath and walks to his room, relieved that he doesn't see Lance or Hunk on the way. Keith needs some time alone to work out what he wants to do. Except no, Keith knows what he needs to do. He thinks he's always known, deep down, but that talk with Shiro confirmed it for him. Keith quickly starts googling, scanning reviews and cases until he finds a magic specialist. Dr. Ryner. Highly well-reviewed and known for taking unusual cases at discounted prices. Perfect. Keith dials her number and stares at the different threads of purple running through the veins of the flowers outside his window.

  "Hi, I'm Keith Song. I'm a student at the Garrison. I'm writing a … paper about magical removal," Keith says in as calm a voice as he can muster given the circumstances and praying this doesn't sound like bullshit. Keith knows that as good as he is as keeping secrets that he's also terrible at lying verbally. Keith takes a deep breath, waiting for the receptionist to say something, but there's no answer. "You know, because of dangerous powers or whatever. I was wondering if Dr. Ryner has any openings for a meeting with me about … that topic?"

  Keith listens as the receptionist checks her schedule, hearing the soft ambient music she has on and the way her buttons on her sleeve clink against the smooth wood of the desk. The music is almost calming, sight starting to dim so he can't see every single fleck of dust and spot of moisture in his room. Maybe there is something to all those meditation videos Shiro used to send him. Keith swallows as the women on the phone offers Friday at 10 AM. "She does? That's great. I'll see you on Friday."

  Keith takes a nap after that, the conversation with Shiro and the phone call leaving him exhausted. He has a dreamless sleep, sound and sight fading away as he gives himself over to the nothingness. He wakes up 20 minutes before group dinner, quickly brushing his hair and rolling to the kitchen, because Keith wants to try and make himself look as awake and as normal as he can before he runs into everyone else. He's not making anyone else worried or mad. Not today. Which is why he wishes Lance wasn't sitting on their makeshift love seat when he walks into the kitchen.

  "Lance, can I talk to you for a few minutes? About this morning?" Keith asks as he finds the other boy sitting on the couch, pillow on his lap. Keith figures it's better to talk this over sooner rather than later. Keith bites his lip, staring over at Lance and hoping this goes better than his conversation with Shiro this morning. He'd been a lot more upset then, emotions running wild. He's surprised he didn't end up taking away Shiro's vision like he did to everyone at the club. But no, Shiro saw him - and his powers - more clearly than ever. But that's going to be okay because Keith can fix this. He's going to fix this. He wants Lance to know that.

  "Of course, Keith," Lance says with a quick grin, bright and warm like they hadn't been arguing six hours ago. Keith can't help staring at Lance with wide eyes, eyebrows shooting up as he cocks his head to the left. Lance smiles a little as he meets the gaze with a sheepish one of his own, shaking his head a little as he pats the seat on the couch next to him. Keith takes a few steps toward Lance, biting his lip as he gives Lance's hand a wary look. "Look, I'm sorry I got mad at you and kind of stormed out. Pulled a you. Right, that was probably rude."

  "Little bit," Keith quips, smirking as he takes the seat next to Lance on the loveseat. Lance lets out a small sigh of relief as he glances over at him, before rolling his eyes when he sees Keith's smirk. Keith lets out a small chortle but then he bites his lip as he looks over at Lance, turning his head to the side so his bangs fall over his face. "And I'm sorry to, you're right I should've been honest with you about the situation."

  "Yeah, I was just thrown, it's a lot to take in that the only non-magical member of your team actually isn't, and I won't lie, it did sting that you didn't trust me with that before well, I tossed a knife at you," Lance mutters with a wince, as though he only realizes how bad the end of that sentence sounds after he finished saying it. Keith laughs again, voice tight and raspy as he moves back onto the loveseat, so he and Lance are closer together. Maybe this will be okay after all, now that he knows what he's doing, and Lance's worries won't be an issue anymore. He can earn back his trust, little by little. He likes Lance, wants to be friends with him, wants to maybe be more than friends if Lance is still into that or was ever into that.

  "I can imagine, but you don't need to worry, Lance. In a few weeks my magic will be cut off. I already found a doctor," Keith tells him with a crooked grin that grows wider and wider as he waits for Lance's relief, for his smile. It never comes. Instead Lance reels back, eyes wide with horror. Keith thinks he might not be happy.

* * *

  "Keith, what the hell are you talking about?" Lance snaps before he can stop himself, some of the heat from this morning coming back into his voice. He doesn't want to fight with Keith. Adorable bickering is one thing, but actual conflict isn't Lance's speed. But he also wants to keep his friends - which he's decided Keith is now - safe from their own bad decisions. And he's never met anyone who wants to make them as badly as Keith seems to right now, grinning like he thinks removing his magic is no different than getting his tonsils out. Lance hasn't been this mad about someone's else stupid moves in a long time. It'd almost be refreshing if he wasn't so terrified for Keith.  

  "You can have magic severed, if you want to," Keith answers him with a fading smile, gaze starting to grow anxious again as he leans back against the couch. Does he think Lance doesn't know that? Keith gives him a searching look, as though trying to find a way in or a sign that Lance's anger is going to go from a boil back to a simmer. Then Keith takes a deep breath and swallows, gaze dropping to the floor. Lance feels kind of bad about how anxious he looks, but maybe that will help him realize what a huge mistake he's making. "Not that many doctors are willing to do it, but a few are and it's not actually that expensive of a procedure."

  Lance takes a deep breath and reminds himself that Keith is his friend and his crush and, despite some recent poor choices, a good person who isn't trying to annoy him. Keith isn't saying this to freak him out or to be snarky, though Lance kind of wishes that were it. that would be a lot easier to fix than Keith wanting to have one of his senses removed. "Yeah, no, I know about the concept, Keith, I guess a better way of phrasing that would be what the hell are you thinking?"

 Okay, so doesn't quite keep his annoyance out of his voice, but it's calmer than it was a few seconds ago. That's a start. Keith shakes his head, rolling his eyes a bit and then just letting them linger on the ceiling. Lance wonders what he's staring at there if he can see each individual fiber of wood. He has no idea how far Keith's powers go, no idea if Keith even knows. Probably not.  "Look, Lance, I've thought about this a lot -"

  "Oh please, like you've thought about anything a lot," Lance growls before he can stop himself, letting out a noise that's half laugh and half a scoff of disbelief. Keith's mouth drops open, eyes huge as he stares over at Lance. Then Keith presses his lips together, crossing his arms as he looks over at Lance out of the corner of his eye. It's a grade A pout, but Lance can tell Keith knows he has a point. Lance can work with that. "Look, I'm not trying to fight you here, but it's really hard to undo cutting off your magic and the side effects aren't pretty. Physical exhaustion, increased stress, insomnia, diminished emotional control - hell, not using your powers is probably why they've been going haywire in the first place."

  "Yeah, but they can't go haywire if they're not there for me to connect with anymore," Keith says with a small smile, holding up his hand as though Lance is supposed to imagine what it'll look like without magic. given that he has no idea how Keith's powers affect his hand - can he not feel pain, grow stronger, make it intangible - all Lance can do is stare. Keith has nice hands, smooth skin of the top of his hand giving way to the calluses on his palm and the inside of his fingers. It shows both sides of Keith, the soft, tender side this Keith keeps hidden most of the time on the outside, the Keith he lets everyone see, hard and strong and just a little rough around the edges.

  His hand is his mirror and Lance, well he's not going to let only the inside of that hand be the thing that exists. He knows in his gut that will happen if Keith makes this choice if he severs himself from his magic.

  "Are you listening to a word I'm saying?" Lance asks in a tight voice, pressing a hand against his hip as he tries to swallow his lecture voice. Keith is his friend, the same age as him, and giving him a lecture probably isn't going to make Keith want to listen to him. Keith's independent and stubborn, as much as he also looks to Shiro for well, everything. Keith's determined to do what he thinks is right (even when it's clearly wrong to anyone using common sense), and Lance needs to talk to him on his level. He needs to get Keith to make this choice on his own because he wants to keep his magic. Lance just isn't sure how to get Keith there.

  "of course I am. Look, I know the risks in removing my magic," Keith tells him, voice firm and gaze suddenly gaining some of that fiery determination Lance used to admire. This is going to be hard to get Keith over. But it's Keith, right? He probably made this decision because of the party, and Lance gets that - he'd be freaked out too - but he's sure he can make Keith realize he can help more people with magic than without it. "I've been researching this since I was 11. This isn't me being an impulsive idiot, it's me doing what's best for me and the mission."

  Okay, right, Keith has been pretending he didn't have powers since he got them. That makes sense since no one knew Keith had magic, but Lance figured it was for … well, he hadn't thought of a why yet, but something that wouldn't mean Keith had wanted this whole magic surgery removal thing for quite so long. Okay, Lance is, he's going to need a new plan for how to make Keith realize that magic is awesome and brings people together instead of pushing them away - and he's getting ahead of himself. He needs to focus on what Keith just said, because the more he goes over it, the less sense it makes. "What mission?"

  "The Garrison's," Keith reminds him with a hint of sardonic amusement, gaze flicking up to Lance as he smirks a bit. Lance stares back at him blankly for a few minutes, and then suddenly Keith's meaning hits him. To protect people from magical danger and harm, to fight for justice and peace, no matter how deep the personal cost is. The motto of the Garrison and the motto of all those shows they both used to watch when they were kids. Lance can't help but smile a little, even as he still wants to knock some sense into Keith.

  "How? You might not even be able to be on our team - or any team - depending on what severing your magic does to you," Lance points out, doing his best to keep his voice as close to calm as he can get it right now. Keith can't live his dream - their dream - if he gives up his magic. Keith might get back to fighting form someday, maybe, but that probably wouldn't be for years. Their team would have to leave him behind and find a new non-magic user. They wouldn't want to, but well, Keith wouldn't be leaving them with a lot of other choices here if does get the surgery. Keith must understand that if he's really done as much research as he claims.

  "Look, just trust me, Lance, I know a lot more about my powers than you," Keith says as he looks away from him and out the window, finally making a point Lance can't argue with this time. Lance only knows that his powers are sensory, not what senses or how deeply they can affect them, other than what he suspects about the club. But even that isn't something Lance knows for sure, can't know for sure unless Keith's willing to share. And going by how Keith crosses his arm and inches to the end of the sofa, Lance doesn't think that's going to happen right now. Keith turns to him with a tight smile. "Can we just, go back to how things were before I made the lights go away and go to team dinner?"

  "That was you?" Lance says in a soft voice, knowing the look he's giving Keith already gives away that he figured it out this morning. But the fact that Keith's opening up to him, well that makes Lance a little more hopeful than he was a minute ago. Lance smiles, small and soft as he rolls to his feet. "I, yeah, of course."

  Lance talks too much at dinner, telling story after story to try and get his attention off of the issue at hand and off the way Keith keeps glancing at the door, looking for Shiro, who Lance can't help but notice is missing. He never shows up. But every time he sees Keith smirk at something Pidge says or make that confused face, Lance's mind goes back to the problem at hand. Keith is going to sever his magic and have who knows what happen to him unless he can put a stop to it. it's kind of a bigger deal than how he aced his magic and technology quiz, though Lance has to say his written essay was great.

  But still, Lance needs advice about Keith and how to handle this, and if Shiro isn't here then Keith has to find someone else to ask. Someone he trusts who either knows Keith well - and does anyone except Shiro - or someone who's enough like Keith that Lance can spin their answers to match how he thinks Keith might react. And there's only one person at this table enough like Keith for Lance to get anywhere close to that, and luckily for him, she's getting up from the table right now.

  "Allura, let me go with you to get dessert, such a lovely lady shouldn't have to carry a tray by herself," Lance calls as he walks over to her side, holding her chair out while Allura raises an eyebrow at him. Lance smiles brightly, knowing that she can probably tell it's just a little too wide, a little too sunny to be real. Sometimes Lance wishes his friends didn't figure out his tells so fast. Allura still gets up and walks a few feet with him toward the dessert line, Lance glancing behind to make sure Keith isn't following. Luckily, he's listening intently - if with his usual confused expression - a story Pidge and Hunk are telling him. Good.

  Allura leans in, eyes sharp and discerning as she glances over at the table they just left and back to Lance, as though trying to solve something. Then she turns back to Lance, raising one eyebrow as she picks up a cupcake and drops it on her plate. When she speaks, her tone is teasing with an undercurrent of genuine curiosity. "Lance? What are you talking about? It barely weights anything."

  "Okay, look, I need to talk to someone about something private, and you're one of the smartest people I know," Lance tells Allura with a warm grin, eyes twinkling as he watches Allura's own gaze light up. It's the truth - though Lance also doesn't want to put too much on Hunk, but he's not going to add that part - and Allura also is a bit like Keith in being all about the mission and big ideals. If anyone can help him find the answer, it's her. "So, I have this friend and I feel like I'm losing them to some poor decisions they think will help them protect people - well I think they are anyway - and I don't know how to get through to them."

  "Oh, is it someone from home? It must be difficult not to be able to have these conversations face to face," Allura murmurs as she brushes a hand across his shoulder and then pulls it back.

  Lance is about to explain that they're actually here, but then shakes his head as he realizes Allura has given him a gift. If she thinks the person is a friend from home, he can be as honest as he wants without worrying about her connecting them to Keith. "Right, yeah, that does make it harder. It's also, they're very stubborn and dedicated to doing what they think is ethically right - even if it hurts themselves or the people they love. I just can't figure out why they think this is the right choice for them, especially since they don't seem to think anyone else needs to do it."

  "Well, given the vague amount of information I'm working with, I think the best thing you can do is offer your friend support and the truth. It sounds like they may have internal reasons for thinking about themselves, and no one but them can change that. But Lance, you are the heart of this team so far, the one who is best at helping other people accept their mistakes and their strengths and push through them. I believe there is a good chance you can do that for this friend of yours as well," Allura finishes, her voice warm and gaze assured in a way Lance wishes he could feel for even a second. Allura's gaze flickers back to their table for a moment, and then she pats Lance on the shoulder.

  "Thanks, Allura, that was … that means a lot to me," Lance tells her as he gives her a quick grin, watching as Keith gets up from the table abruptly. He's blinking a lot, which Lance assumes means his eyes are acting up. They do look a little purple, the closer Keith gets to him. Lance gives Allura a warm smile as he takes a few steps toward where Keith is walking. "I really hope so. Hey, I'll meet you back at the table in a minute, okay?"

  "Alright, though it will look strange," Allura teases him as she holds up her tray pointedly before turning on her heel. Lance watches her go with a small, fond smile, before turning his attention back to Keith. He's standing by the windows, eyes closed and looking out across campus. Maybe he's thinking about how much he'll miss it if he leaves. That would be good for Lance's case, because he wants Keith to want to be here. He knows probably has a home to go back to, but Lance wants him to have a second home here.

  "Keith, let me come with you to meet with the doctor. I don't think that's a conversation anyone should be alone for," Lance insists as he catches up with Keith by the door, surprised by the firmness in his own tone. Keith looks up at him with wide eyes, unfocused, and then he does something Lance didn't see coming at all. He nods.

* * *

 Keith doesn't remember why he agreed to let Lance come to the hospital with him, but now it doesn't matter, because they're both sitting in the waiting room, watching as the clock ticks by, second by second, each tick resounding in Keith's heads like a boom instead. He can't even tell if that's his powers or his nerves. He's wanted to this since he first developed his powers at 11, but now that he's actually here it feels … bigger somehow. More final. If Keith goes through with this, his senses will be whatever they are without magic. And Keith is okay with that, he is, but he can't help but worry about how that will affect his fighting and scouting and spying, and well, everything he does for the Garrison.

  He also always imagined making this trip alone, not with Lance sitting next to him in a white sweatshirt drinking a Dr. Pepper and giving him small looks out of the corner of the eye that make Keith feel like he's making a mistake. Which is stupid, because he shouldn't let Lance rile him up like this again, and because Keith knows he's not making a mistake. He does. His powers are dangerous.

  "So, this is the hospital closest to the Garrison. I gotta admit it's pretty snazzy, though not quite as nice as the one on base," Lance drawls as he glances over at Keith and wriggles his eyebrows, apparently deciding 20 minutes of silence was enough. Keith could've gone the entire trip without saying a word, working more on his drawing instead. He doesn't have Allura's hair right yet and talking means dealing with the fact that he knows Lance is against this and Keith has no idea how to make him see reason. Besides telling him about his mom and all her crimes, anyway, but Keith isn't quite ready for Lance to look at him in disgust or pity yet.

  "No, but I couldn't really go there, under the circumstances," Keith says as he cocks his head to the side, gaze flicking to the ground as they both remember why they're here. Lance lets out a small whistle, throwing an arm around the back of Keith's chair without actually making contact. But Keith can feel the warmth from his fingers spreading out toward him, and Keith can't help but lean into the warmth a bit as he adds a few lines to Pidge's glasses. They’re almost perfect, almost the real thing.

  "Right, you couldn't," Lance agrees instead of acknowledging the why for that, smile growing just a little more strained. Keith bites his lip as he glances up from his drawing, cocking his head to the side as he feels Lance staring at him, gaze surprisingly soft. Keith gives him a weak smile, sitting up a bit so they're face to face even as he moves his pencil across the paper. He wonders if he'll be a worse artist, after the surgery. Who knows how much his enhanced senses have affected his art? Who knows how much they've affected anything? Lance clears his throat, hand suddenly touching Keith's shoulder. "So, you watch any good movies lately?"

  "I really liked _Mulan_ ," Keith murmurs as he adds a few more lines to Hunk's jacket, giving Lance a small, hopeful smile as he looks over at him. Lance grins a little, shaking his head ruefully and with just a hint of pride that his mission to make Keith see everything he missed from childhood is working out. "I was thinking, we could have another movie marathon sometime if you wanted."

  "You know what, yeah, we should," Lance tells him with a warm one of his own, though his gaze is almost wistful at the same time. Keith has no idea why, because the stuff they're talking about right, none of that has to go away just because Keith's powers do. He can just go to the Garrison as a non-magical student. Maybe he'll be a spy, so they'll have less time together … less time with everyone … but Keith can make it work. And if not, well. What does he really add anyway? Then Lance leans in, gaze growing almost tender as he looks at Keith. "Maybe this time I'll actually get to - show you _Hercules_. I think you'd like it. Maybe even throw in some non-Disney movies too."

  "Yeah, that would be nice," Keith answers him, voice growing a bit raspier as he tries to answer the spoken and unspoken. So, Lance does like him after all. That, that makes Keith happy and a little scared at the same time. He's not used to anyone liking him, let alone romantically. He doesn't know if he can live up to whatever Lance has created in his head.

  "Hey what're you doing?" Lance asks as he suddenly leans in, peering over Keith's shoulder and down at the paper in his hands. Keith blinks and then holds the paper up so Lance can see them all, in line by height order from Shiro down to Pidge. He begrudgingly put himself after Allura, though Keith swears they're the same height and she just borrows Lance's shapeshifting to make herself taller. He can't prove that though. Lance glances down at the picture, reaching a finger out and tracing it over himself and then down across Hunk and Shiro, before bringing it back around to him, Allura, and Pidge.

  "Oh, I'm drawing," Keith admits sheepishly, flushing a bit as he hands Lance the paper, so he can see it more closely, looking down as his blush deepens under Lance's watchful gaze.  Finally, Keith looks up at him with a small smile, eyebrows sloping down as he reaches an arm across Lance's chest and points at one of the figures on the page. "It's the team, I guess? You're there, and Allura is next to you -"

  "I can tell who everyone is Keith," Lance assures him with a small laugh, shooting Keith flat look. Keith's blush gets worse for a second and then fades away as he pouts up at Lance, because how was he supposed to know if Lance could tell? He drew them in costumes he made up, so it's not like they look exactly like themselves. Lance looks a little closer, narrowing his gaze as he brings one hand under his chin, like he's trying to imitate an old timey art critic. Keith scoffs as he pulls back so he can look at whatever has Lance making that face. "Hey, this is pretty good, and I have to say, we all look very happy."

  "That's how I think of all of you," Keith says in a small voice, gazing over at Lance with a longing he doesn't understand, but always feels around the team. He wants them to be something more than what they are, wants to stay with them in a way that makes him know in his gut the right thing to do is run away. But he's not brave enough to do that. Not yet. "I mean, not that you're all always happy, just that. I guess for me the team makes me feel … I like all of you."  

  "How sweet," Lance murmurs, but the teasing is also genuine, Lance's gaze kind and hopeful as Keith meets his gaze. He squeezes his shoulder, just a little and Keith has to bite back a gasp at how strong the sensation is. When Lance speaks, the longing in his voice matches the one in Keith's chest, just for a second. "And you're really ready to possibly give all of that up instead of just trying to learn how to use your magic?"

  "Trust me, I wish it were that simple," Keith says in a low voice, peering over at the nurse's deck desperately. He needs them to call his name, needs to get out of here before Lance tries again. Keith knows he can't change his mind. It's not safe, not for Lance, not for anyone. Then a second later, the name ‘Keith Song’ rings out across the room, as though an answer to all of Keith's prayers. Funny then how his stomach curls a bit, vision getting blurry for a few seconds. "They called my name."

  Keith and Lance make the journey down a sterile white hallway wordlessly, the silence from before coming back louder than ever. They're shown into a small waiting room, where Keith hops up on the examination chair. Kicking his feet back and forth as he watches Lance slide into a small fold out one in the corner. Lance frowns tightly at him, nodding toward the door as though giving Keith one more chance to back out. But what Lance doesn't get, can't get, is that Keith doesn't want to do that. He doesn't.

  A tall thin women Keith would guess in her early sixties walks into the room and ends any chance of leaving anyway, curly white hair pulled into a bun that's much neater than the one Keith has right now. Keith gives her an awkward nod, while next to him Lance waves with a bright smile that doesn't hide the suspicion in his gaze. Keith really shouldn't have let him come in the room with him, looking back. That was his mistake. "Hello, you must be Keith, I'm Dr. Ryner, the foremost specialist on power severing and repair at Lakewood General Hospital."

  "I'm not here because of a research paper," Keith tells her without pause, not caring that he might be about to get himself and Lance thrown out of her office. Next to him Lance raises an eyebrow, mouthing the word 'liar' under his breath until Keith crosses his arms tightly against his chest. Because okay, yeah, maybe he did lie, but he couldn't exactly request a meeting about removing his powers right off the bat or when he was in his room where Hunk or Lance or anyone could just walk in mid-call. Keith glances up at her, expression growing a bit embarrassed as she cocks her head to the side. "I'm here because I want you to sever my powers."

  "I guessed it was something more along those lines," Dr. Ryner tells him a knowing smile, as though people pretend to have research papers by the dozen. Keith widens his eyes, glancing over at Lance out of the corner of his eye and finding the other boy is laughing, muffling the sound with his sweater sleeve. Whatever. "You're not the first person to come into my office with the research paper line, though usually it's young adults wanting me to give them magic, not take it away."

  "Keith's always been special," Lance says as he gives Dr. Ryner a tight look, even though she hasn't actually done anything yet. Keith lets out a small huff, elbowing him gently in the side, but Lance pays no attention to him as he reaches a hand out to Dr. Ryner to shake. "I'm Lance. His cousin."

  "Sure," Dr. Ryner answers in a voice so cheerful and firm at the same time that Keith knows in his gut she doesn't believe them. She shakes Lance's hand anyway, but her eyes never leave Keith. Keith bites his lips, wanting to look anywhere else in the room, but knowing that would probably be rude when he came here for her help. She lets go of Lance's hand and takes a step to the right, so she's face to face with Keith again, expression completely blank now. "Now Keith, you know this a serious decision, I imagine, if you've made the move to meet with a specialist."

  "I know most of the risks," Keith assures as he tries to keep his voice free of emotion even as Lance snorts behind him. Keith shoots him a small glare out of the corner of his eye, because he does know the risks. He's studied this as much as anyone not going to school to learn how to do stuff like this has. Keith turns back to Dr. Ryner, trying to keep his voice level as he speaks so she doesn't think he's just being an impulsive kid. He's not. "My powers are sensory based, and at first it was just my own senses and emotions, but it's started to branch out to other people. I can't take that risk."

  Dr. Ryner glances up at him, frowning tightly as she hurriedly types something on her computer. Something about her expression makes Keith feel colder, tugging on the edge of his sweater so his sleeves cover his hand. "Sensory based? You understand that if I cut them off, there is a good chance that your natural senses, whatever they may be, will be dulled as well? Your magic and your mind are linked, and without the former, how you see, how you move and act, would all change. We could schedule a preliminary meeting to analyze your magic and what we'd have to do to sever your bond in two weeks."

  "I understand, my reflexes are a risk I have to take," Keith says after a moment, voice low and defeated as he gazes down at the ground. He knew about the insomnia and the stress, but he's lived with that for years anyway. But losing his reflexes and his agility, well then, he loses everything that made the Garrison take him in the first place. He'd have to leave. Keith can feel Lance staring at him and tries not to look over at him as he shakes Dr. Ryner's hand. "Thank you Dr. Ryner."

  Keith walks out of the office holding a breath he can't seem to let go of, white noise surrounding him as he bolts down the hallway and through the front desk area, not stopping until he's outside. Then he leans against the wall, trying to ignore the way Lance is watching him, gaze sympathetic and warm as he comes over to his side. Lance grins at him, eyebrows sloping to the side as he slides a hand to Keith's shoulder. "Well, a few weeks, huh? Then I guess that's how long I have to show you you're wrong, magic man."

  Keith doesn't say anything back as they walk to the bus stop, but he hates the part of him that hopes Lance Is right.


	5. Decisions

Lance prepares after they come back from the hospital, googling sensory magic and trying to learn as much as can over the next week. He's only giving himself a small window of time to change Keith's mind, but Lance figures that Keith probably needs some space. Hell, maybe Keith will even realize the idea's bad on his own. He doesn't bring it up again, not acting any different during training or team dinners, or at the times when they both end up watching movies or playing video games together in the common room. Sometimes, Lance almost thinks he dreamed the whole thing and Keith doesn't have powers at all.

  But then Keith will wince a little too much at a small noise or his gaze will grow hazy in the middle of class, and Lance knows he didn't. lance also knows that the only way Keith can stay on the team and be a hero, or at least a hero with them, is if he doesn't have his powers removed. And Lance thinks that maybe, if he presents Keith with enough facts and positive examples, Keith will start seeing the good side of his magic.

  And that's how Lance finds himself in his dorm room on Thursday afternoon, holding a pizza in his hands and staring anxiously at Keith's door. Keith slides through it a minute later, hair in a ponytail and the black cords of his necklace sticking up from underneath his shirt. He gives Lance a half-smile, sliding onto the loveseat as he sits two sodas down on the table.

  "So, I was thinking that while we have lunch, we could also go over some research I've been doing, if you think you're up for it," Lance calls as he sets down the pizza on the table, giving Keith a small smile as the other boy scrunches his eyebrows together. Lance feels a little bad, tricking Keith into this with the promise of pizza and movies, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do when his friend is making terrible choices. Keith takes a slice of pizza, setting it on one of the plates. Lance slides onto the loveseat next to him, holding his backpack up with a bright grin. He's not shocked when Keith gives him a wary look in return.

  "Sure, but I didn't think we had any papers do right now," Keith murmurs softly, looking up at Lance through his bangs with tired eyes. Or maybe unfocused ones. Now that Lance knows Keith has powers it's harder to read what his reactions mean. Of course, maybe being tired made Keith's eyes lose focus. That made a kind of sense to Lance, and watching Keith reach for a slice of pizza and completely miss it kind of makes Lance think that he's right. Lance holds his backpack up so Keith can't see his small smirk behind it, using his free hand to pull out the 10 printed pages he has. He lies them down in front of Keith the same time he puts his backpack back onto the ground. "Lance. What is this?"

  "It's research on witches who've used sensory magic before and been heroes, including a few who were on some of the shows we watched," Lance tells Keith, trying to keep his voice calm and expression neutral as he looks over at the other boy. He's not surprised when Keith looks away, biting his lip a bit as he looks around the room. Probably for a reason to escape. But Hunk and Allura are on a day trip with Coran and Shiro took Pidge to visit her family. There's no escape for him unless someone attacks the Garrison and then, well, Lance will have bigger things to worry about too.

  "You printed all of this out for me?" Keith says in a small voice, cocking his head to the side as he looks down at the wiki pages, some of the anxiety going out of his gaze. Lance nods with a small smile, gaze sheepish as he watches Keith pick up the first sheet of paper. That's a really good one for his argument. Maybe, just maybe, this going to work out even better than Lance thought.  

  "I didn't think I could get you to read it otherwise," Lance admits with a small shrug, grinning when Keith shoots him a small glare, pouting even though Lance knows he's right. Keith lets out a small sigh a moment later that makes him think Keith knows that too, gaze flickering to the first line of the article. "First of all, here is Iron Lass, she used hers to never feel pain during a battle and so she could always find people trapped in buildings. The next person on this list is Erik Singer, not a hero, but a magic user who used his powers as a surgeon to see every single part of the heart and chest before the operation. It let him create six new types of preventive care."

  "Don't know if you noticed, but I'm not exactly the med school type," Keith mutters with a low scoff, something bitter coming over his face. Lance blinks a bit at that, wondering who told Keith that. He might not be a genius like Hunk or Pidge, but Keith is smart and quick-thinking, able to make decisions - usually good ones - fast and he devotes himself to whatever he's doing fully. Lance is pretty sure Keith would succeed at anything he put his mind too.

  "If you trained as much as you studied, you definitely would get in," Lance insists even as he presses the next sheet into Keith's hand. He needs to keep them focused if he's going to get through to Keith about this. "But okay, the next person on this list is Nighthawk, who used their super-vision and hearing to have the best reflexes on their entire team. They were as good of a fighter as well as you'd probably be if you weren't trying to dull your senses all the time. Oh God, Keith, do you ever think about all the sights and sounds you're missing out on?"

  Keith bites his lip, gaze growing tight and anxious as he runs a hand over the pages. His gaze grows heavier for a moment, gaze dropping to his hands with a sadness that makes Lance think Keith hasn't considered what he's losing by not embracing his powers before now. Then Keith looks up at him, expression wistful and his tone bitter when he speaks, and Lance knows he's wrong. "Sometimes, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. And It's not like my control's good enough for me to get make that choice."

  "Okay, okay, control is off the table for now," Lance tells Keith, trying to keep his tone light as he holds both his hands up, palms facing Keith. He doesn't tell Keith that the only way to gain that kind of control is to train, not yet. Lance doesn't think they're there yet, going by the way Keith's grip tightens on his slice of pizza as he Lance flips the next page over. "Okay, Keith. Our next hero would jump from building to building, which I'd know you'd love -"

  "Lance, can we just drop this?" Keith asks, voice cracking and desperate as he looks over at him, pushing the papers back toward him with more force than necessary. Lance's raises an eyebrow, frown tight as he looks over at Keith. He thought this was going well. Keith takes a deep breath, fingers tightening against the edge of the table. "Look, I know you're trying to help, but my powers aren't like these people. They're more extreme and it's, it's not just my own powers."

  "I know, which is even better! Keith, you could make it so all of us shared your super senses and didn't feel pain while we were saving people and think how quickly you could take out our enemies without hurting them," Lance points out as he throws an arm over Keith's shoulder, using the free one to point at an imaginary battlefield. For a second Keith follows Lance's fingertip, eyes growing more and more focused and taking on that purple hue from the roof. Lance wonders what Keith is seeing, if there's particles of dust transforming into little enemies for them to fight, crumbs becoming mountains, particles becoming people. Then Keith pulls back on the word 'hurting', eyes losing that hint of purple like he's waking up from a dream.

  "Except they're not the kind of powers you can use without hurting people!" Keith snaps as he glares at lance shifting slightly so Lance's arm is dislodged. Keith crosses his arms against his chest, hands gripping his skin so tightly that Lance is sure he'll have bruises in a few hours.

  "What are you talking about?!" Lance shouts throwing his arms out in exasperation, expression pinched as he stares over at Keith. He leans in, eyebrow still raised and one hand coming to rest on his hip as he shoots Keith a slight glare. Lance knows he can't stop Keith from making this decision, that Keith is an adult who has the right to remove his powers and leave the team if he thinks that's what is best for him. But Lance wants to make sure Keith's considered all of his options, because it doesn't seem like Keith wants to do this so much as that he thinks he has to do it. But that's kind of hard to do when Keith won't tell him why he's so afraid of his powers in the first place.

  Keith scowls over at him, inching into the little space left on the couch so his elbow is half in the sink. Lance rolls his eyes and shifts to the other side of the loveseat as much as he can, letting his own hand rest on the table by the mostly uneaten pizza. There goes 12 bucks Lance will never get back. Lance lets out a low exhale as he flicks his gaze from the pizza back to Keith, who's rubbing his fingers over his thumb and staring at the wall. "Are you just forgetting Heliotrope?"

  "No, I know there are villains who have the same powers as you, Keith, there are evil shapeshifters too," Lance reminds him with a small smile, eyebrows scrunching together because is that what this is all about? One supervillain? Lance grin grows as he moves closer to Keith on the loveseat, because yeah, Keith's being a little dramatic here. "And there are rumors she’s a spy for the Garrison. Either way, It doesn't mean we'll be anything like them. Why would it?"

  "She was my mother," Keith whispers, voice weak and gaze dropping to the floor, so Lance can't see his expression. Lance swallows tightly, the impact of Keith's words hitting him as he stares over at the other boy in shock. Keith wouldn't have been more than eight when Heliotrope went to prison, but that's old enough to be know she worked for Zarkon. Keith knows more than that though, voice growing more and more strained with each word, fingers digging into his thumb. "She's my mom, and she used her powers to blind people in the middle of a fire and I know she heard all their screams, I know I would. They barely survived. She took away people's sense of smell when they were surrounded by gas, so they wouldn't know they were slowly being knocked out to help Zarkon, she heightened their rage until they took out guns and the police had to stop them from -”

  "Keith, Keith take some deep breaths," Lance says as he grabs his hands, trying to remember what he learned about this kind of stuff in health class. He breaths at Keith for a few seconds, slow and steady, until Keith starts mimicking him. Lance doesn't speak again or let go of Keith's hands until Keith stops shaking and until his eyes lose the purple haze that's spread over them now. "Okay, you're with me. I know, I know she did that. I saw all of the news reports. I'm guessing this means that you have too, and I can't tell you I understand, but I know that would make me afraid of my powers too. But Keith, all those other people who used their powers to save people count too, and you are not your mother. Her actions don't define you."

  "We can't know that, we can't - my necklace," Keith mutters, pulling the purple stone out of his shirt and holding it up, no light reflecting inside of it. Lance glances at it with a slight nod, gaze soft as he moves towards Keith again, relieved when Keith doesn't try to move even further away. "It was my mother's. I wear it remind myself to not ever become like her."

  "Keith, you're not going to become a villain, I know you, or at least I'm starting to on some level," Lance tells him and gives the other boy a small smile, brushing a hand over the top of Keith's. Lance gives Keith a look that he hopes is as determined as it is sincere, because no matter what else Lance does or doesn't help Keith see about himself, he hopes Keith sees that he can be a good person. "And you're a good person. Maybe a little rough around the edges, but you're brave and compassionate and protective, and one of the most moral people I know, even if you're way of handling it, like now, is a little rash -"

  "Oh wow, bringing up the hothead thing again?" Keith asks as he roll his eyes, some of the tension fading from his voice. His expression is almost tender as he looks up at Lance, not quite smiling as he squeezes Lance hand in silent thanks. Lance only hopes that means he's starting to get through to the other boy.

  "Hey just because I'm being nice doesn't mean I'm not gonna be honest about your flaws," Lance quips playfully, wiggling his eyebrows as he bumps Keith's shoulder with his own. Keith lets out a raspy laugh, bumping Lance's shoulder back as he shifts so he's back to where he started on the loveseat. Lance's grin grows a warmer, giving Keith's hand one final squeeze before he lets go of it. "My point is, that you're a good person and I'd miss you if you got your powers removed. We all would. You're our friend.

  "You're my friends too, that's why I need to protect all of you," Keith explains in a tight voice, a hint of exasperation coming through as though he doesn't get why Lance doesn't see him as the obvious threat he is. Lance turns his gaze away from Keith and over to the wall, not wanting Keith to see his disappointment, his guilt. All his hard work, and Lance still wasn't good enough to convince Keith that he belongs here with the rest of them. so much for all those charisma points he got on his entrance exam. Keith bumps his elbow again, giving Lance a tight smile that makes Lance's stomach twist. "Let's just watch TV."

  "Okay," Lance murmurs with a low sigh, taking another piece of pizza and turning his gaze to the TV as Keith loads Netflix, one of the superhero shows from their childhood flashing across the screen. Lance isn't surprised when Keith hurriedly clicks past it, ending up on some cooking show neither of them have ever heard of instead.

   Lance wonders if, maybe more than him failing, if it's just too late for anyone to change Keith's mind. That thought makes his stomach twist again, sharp and painful as he abruptly takes the remote from Keith's hand and switches to the superhero show.

* * *

  "Keith, I'm glad you could make it," Shiro says as Keith walks into the training room 20 minutes late. It's been two days since his talk with Lance, and Keith's been … avoiding the team a bit ever since. It's different now, that half of them knows his secret and Keith knows that he's not going to be a part of the team for much longer. Creating space between them just make sense.

  Keith still winces, giving Shiro an apologetic smile that he doesn't return. Keith blinks a bit, because he thought they resolved that. Shiro hasn't been acting weird since their argument over a week ago. Keith looks to his left and finds Lance watching him as he makes his way into the training room, still pulling on the grey gloves of his uniform. He's not about to forget those again any time soon. Keith catches Lance's eye and smiles, holding his hands up and wriggling his fingers. Lance lets out a sound that's halfway between a snicker and a sigh, earning a sharp look from Shiro that Keith is pretty sure is really for him.

  "I'm sorry I'm late Shiro, I had to finish some work with Kolivan," Keith tells him as he crosses his arm, wincing when Shiro's disappointed grunt is the only thing that follows. Keith knows that Shiro doesn't love him taking extra lessons on spy work with Professor Kolivan, but Keith still isn't sure that the team is the right place for him, that his presence isn't bringing them down. And even if he did belong here, knowing more ways to defeat the enemy can only be a good thing. Still, Keith looks down at the ground, a slight rush of shame going through him as Shiro's gaze grows a bit tighter. "I know, I know, I'm on the team, I'm not a spy. Let's just start practicing."

  "Keith," Shiro starts in a tone that almost sounds apologetic, but then he just looks away without saying anything else. Good. Shiro has nothing to apologize for. "Okay, everyone get into position."

  "Hey there buddy, you maybe want to get in closer with the rest of us?" Lance asks as Keith moves to the other side of the room, no one else within ten feet of him. Keith catches Lance's gaze from across the room and bites his lip, because he knows he's putting a lot of space between them physically too. But if - when Keith does have his powers removed, he's going to be taken off the team at least temporarily while he retrains, and depending on how long that takes, Coran will have to replace him or send them out into the field without him. They need to learn to work without him and Keith needs to relearn what it's like to be alone. That's just the way things are.

  "I'll handle the bots on the left, you can handle the ones in the center and on the right, it'll be quicker that way," Keith answers Lance instead of saying all of that and without looking over at him, voice tight as he faces down the bot. Keith knows that his anxiety, his fears, would show on his face, and he can't have that happen right now. Not when Lance knows why Keith feels that way but doesn't, can't understand. Keith wouldn't want him to be able to. He doesn't want any of them to ever feel like that.

  "What you think you can handle five bots by yourself? Keith's that's madness," Allura calls in a clipped voice, frustration and worry mixing together. Keith stiffens at that, both at the reprimand and the disbelief. Keith doesn't like being lectured, especially when he already feels bad about what he's doing (even if it is better for everyone), and he doesn't like the assumption he can't handle this by himself. Keith dives forward, pulling his sword out and ignoring the slight pain it causes in his palm. He slices it through the closest droid, leaping over the low kick it sends his way and landing on his feet.  

  "I'm fine, Allura, if I needed help I'd tell you, okay? Keep focused on your own fight and let me take care of myself. Besides it seems like I'm doing okay," Keith snaps as he hits one of the robots in the chest with his knife, diving under the arm of a robot. He gives her a pointed look as the bot falls on top of the body of the other, the clink of the metal so loud that Keith can't help wincing. No one else even notices it. Keith ignores that in favor of smirking as Allura shakes her head, pointedly turning her gaze back to the droids in front of her.

  "Yeah, but what happens when both of them take you on at once? Or all three of them, or when one grabs you like this - hey!" Pidge yells, voice going from amused to terrified as six of the robots suddenly all lunge at her at once with a speed they've never used in training before. Something is wrong. Keith catches Shiro's eye and dashes forward at the same time as his friend, Shiro holding his arm out in front of him at the same time Keith twists his hand so his sword is pointed forward. Whatever's going on here, it isn't normal.  

  "Pidge!" Hunk yells as he runs across the room, mouth hanging open as one of the droid lifts Pidge up, squeezing her tightly that she's letting out small gasps of pain. Keith catches Hunk's eyes as his hand turns into a drill, knocking one of the droids closest to him to the side with a quick blow. The droid has a red dot on the back of its head, dull and hidden by its metal frame, barely visible to the human eye from here. Or maybe not visible to the human eye at all.

  "Pidge, hold on, I'm on my way," Shiro calls as he tries to fight off the drones holding him back, four of them suddenly diving at him with the same speed and grabbing him. Keith knows Shiro will be able to fight them off eventually, but they're designed to handle his super strength and flying so it's not going to be quick enough to get to Pidge. Keith has the best shot.

  Keith takes a deep breath and dives forward, knocking out the droid closest to him with a swift turn of his blade. Keith feels himself start to move faster as the robot's grip on Pidge grows tighter, any sense of strain from his run not there as he leaps over one robot and lets it smash into another. It's like his joints are twice as flexible as normal, Keith's agility increasing with every step and - oh. This is what it feels like to use his powers without swallowing them down, so he can't feel their full power.

   For a second Keith stops in the middle of his run, fear overcoming him as he holds out his sword. Then he hears his name ringing from across the room, Lance's voice anxious and frustrated and scared, sees the way Pidge's skin wrinkles under the robot's hand, and he forgets everything but getting his friend out of that asshole droid's hands.

  "Pidge don't move! It'll be easier for me to get to you if you stay still. Hunk, you too, three of the bots have their back sensors trained on you, if you move, you're dead in the water," Keith says as he glances over at the droids next to Hunk, gaze honing in on the front of their eye area that have the same red glow as the one on Shiro. Keith moves forward, body moving faster than it ever has before, everything around him moving in slow motion. Keith sees the droid's arm flick toward him long before it ever comes close to hitting him, Keith reaching out his blade and slamming it against the droid's shoulder, angled so he's nowhere near Pidge. The arm and her go careening to the ground with a low thud, Keith shooting her a small smile as he turns on his heel. Now to take down the three droids before they can touch her or anyone else again.

  Keith flips around, watching the droid move toward him and dives onto the floor, slamming his legs into the side of the droid's metal flank. The droid stumbles back and Keith bounces up, lunging forward so his knife flicks into the middle of the robot's chest, creating a small explosion that Keith knows will be ringing in his ears for days. Keith twists around, to fight the other droid only to find Allura diving at it, movements even swifter than usual as she gives the robot a once over, finding the weak spot at the bottom of its right torso in seconds. Keith slams his knife into the other side of the droid, the last robot falling to the ground with a satisfying thud.

  Keith shoots Allura a quick smile she returns with a confused look, face pinched. Keith doesn't have time to think about that, closing his eyes and trying to get his senses back into order. Or away from order, he guesses it could really go either way.

  "Keith, you just saved my life," Pidge says, voice warm and grateful for a moment, a weak smile on her face. Keith returns it with a slight one of his own, gaze warm as she grabs his hand to shake it. except no, suddenly Keith finds himself with an armful of Pidge, her arms wrapping around his waist as she grins up at him. Keith returns the hug, smile growing as Pidge as squeezes him and then takes a step back. Suddenly her entire demeanor changes, gaze growing tight and eyebrows scrunching together as she leans in and peers over at him like he's one of her science experiments. Keith's smile fades fast. "And you used magic to do it."

  "What? No, I didn't, I don't have magical powers, Pidge, I'm the non-magical member of the team, remember?" Keith mutters, gaze darting around the room as he tries not to meet anyone else's eyes. He finally lands on Allura when the gym proves too big to hide from, expecting her to look exasperated with both of them. instead her gaze is knowing with a hint of betrayal, and suddenly Keith remembers the way Allura moved on the battlefield, how she took out the other droid like she knew it was coming for her before the droid made its first move. Shit. "Look, I know what it looked like … you … you copied me, didn't you?"

  Allura nods, eyebrows scrunched together as she takes a few careful steps toward him. Some of the hurt goes out of her gaze as Keith's slumps, all of the fight going out of him as he stares down at the ground and begs it to swallow him and turn him into dirt or something. Allura' s voice is carefully neutral when she next speaks, but Keith doesn't miss the clipped edges of her words. "Yes, but Keith why would you not tell us about your powers?"

  "I didn't plan on still having on them by now. I've wanted to have the surgery since I was 11 and first got them, it just took me awhile to make the appointment," Keith explains with a small shrug, cocking his head to the side as glances over at the others with a pained smile. The mixture of horror and confusion from everyone but Lance and Shiro he gets in return makes him think no one else feels that way. Lance and Shiro might be worse, honestly, Shiro's gaze tight and worried, Lance's hopeful and pained at the same time. "My powers aren't like all of yours, they're dangerous. They hurt people. My mother … she used hers to hurt a lot of people."

  "My powers could hurt people too, though. I can control any technology with my mind, do you know how much damage I could with just a lawnmower? Or Hunk could do when he turns his hand into a drill or Shiro by just hitting you?" Pidge points out as she presses her eyebrows together, pointing a finger out at him. Keith nods as he scrunches his eyebrows together, because of course he knows that, he's read their files. Pidge grins, bright and relieved, the glint in her eyes almost victorious as she gently jabs his chest for a second as if to further her point. "All of our powers are dangerous. You're not special."

  "Thanks Pidge," Keith mutter as he gives her a quick glare, but then he looks over at her and bites his lip, expression growing a bit warmer because he does appreciate it. First Lance, now Pidge. Maybe. Maybe everyone does want him to stay? But why?

  "What Pidge means is that none of us are going to think of you differently because you have powers or because someone else with the same ones as you did something wrong," Shiro assures him as he reaches a hand out, resting it on Keith's shoulder. Right. Shiro knows about his mom, or at least knows enough to have connected the dots. Keith swallows as Shiro gives him a fond smile, grip on his shoulder growing firmer as he speaks, and for a second Keith feels safe. "You're still you and an important member of this team, now we just know that we have to train with you differently."

  "Not once I get them removed - wait, Shiro, why aren't you angrier?" Keith asks in a small voice, trying to take a step away from Shiro, only to find that his grip is too firm now. Suddenly it isn't as comforting now that the conversation from last week is flashing back across Keith's memory. Shiro thinks Keith is a coward for all of this, so why is he being so nice about it now?

 "Keith … I wasn't angry or disappointed with you yesterday, at least not to the extent of how I acted. you were angry and disappointed with yourself," Shiro answers carefully as he looks into Keith's eyes, smiling tightly. Keith cocks his head to the side, biting his lip as he stares up at Shiro. He was because that's how Keith always feels about himself when it comes to his powers, but how could he make Shiro feel that way? Shiro takes a deep breath, voice gentle as he explains what he means. It's still a slap in Keith's face. "You projected your emotions onto me, or at least onto my senses. I'm not an expert with this type of magic, but it's not uncommon for sensory magic to develop elements of empathetic magic as well."

  "Then I have to have them removed!" Keith cries as he crosses his arms, gaze growing wild as he stares over at the others, seeing every line of their uniform in perfect detail. Hunk winces, gaze growing a bit sad as he takes a step toward Keith and then stop when Keith takes a step back. He can't risk hurting Hunk the same way he hurt Shiro. "No, I'm not going to control anyone's mind too -"

  "You didn't control my actions. Everything I said was my own reaction and my own words," Shiro admits softly, wincing a bit as he gazes over at Keith. Keith knows that Shiro can be harsh when people don't live up to the standards he's set for himself and the world, but Keith's never seen him like that before. But … he's also never been on the receiving end before, so maybe Shiro has a point. "You made me angrier than I might have been on my own, but my reactions to that anger were still my own choice."

  "I just don't want to hurt anyone," Keith tells them as he glances over at the rest of the team, praying that this time they get it. Keith needs them to know that this isn't because of them, not entirely anyway. A small part of Keith knows he needs to leave before they realize how dangerous and different he is and reject him, but he gets why they would. He's not safe and if removing his powers and leaving the team is the best way to keep everyone safe, that's what Keith has to do.

  "And the best way to make sure you don't is to learn how to properly control and use your powers," Lance says in a surprisingly calm voice, walking toward Keith with a small smile. Keith meets his gaze with a look of surprise, eyes widening because even knowing Lance wanted him to keep his powers yesterday, this is still a shock. Didn't he hear anything Shiro just said about his powers? "We can talk to Coran about having you transferred into classes for magic training with the rest of us. You'll probably be on probation for a bit for not mentioning the whole magic thing when you applied, but you didn't actually break any university rules."

  "Okay," Keith mutters in a low voice, nodding as he meets Lance gaze with an unsure one of his own. Keith has been determined to have his powers removed since he was a kid, known it was the right thing to do in his gut. So why does the way Lance is looking at him, smile open and tender, the way the others have moved in with warm grins and enthusiastic nods, make him start to doubt that?

* * *

  Two days after everyone on the team finds out Keith has powers and Keith found out that no one cares, Lance sits on the love seat in the kitchen area, snacking on gummy bears and staring blankly at the TV that's not even on. He knows he should be happy right now. The team survived the computer glitch that made the droids murderous (Coran was very apologetic) and no one got hurt, and his plan to convince Keith that his powers aren't a curse got a huge boost from everyone else accepting him too.

  But he's not. Lance is kind of miserable, if he's honest. Not because of those things, of course, just because he wasn't really involved in them. Lance's powers are shapeshifting, and no matter how much he hones them or works on them, they're never going to be as useful in a fight as anyone else's on the team. He can't control robots like Pidge and kind of Hunk too or do literally anything like Allura and he can't protect people like Keith and Shiro do. When Pidge was in danger of maybe dying, Lance couldn't do anything or help at all. He was completely useless. And what's the point of having him on the team if he can't actually help them when it counts? They don't need a weak link in this chain.

  "Hey Lance, are you doing okay?" Keith asks with a slight frown as he slides onto the couch next to him, scrunching his eyebrows together. Lance turns around and stares at Keith, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he takes in the other boy's words. Keith is asking him if he's okay? When Keith is the one who's having a huge and mysterious identity crisis? Apparently, Lance does look as bad as he feels. And isn't that just the cherry on top of this terrible, weird week?

  "What, of course, I'm doing as wonderfully as always, mullet, especially now that we put all those issues from yesterday behind us," Lance tells him in a bright voice, trying to keep his tone cheerful and warm. Keith nods slightly as he looks over at Lance, crossing his legs and pulling in on himself a bit as he gives Lance a dubious look. Lance shrugs, voice and smile growing a bit more strained when he next speaks, because this isn't something he was ready to deal with and now he might have to. But maybe he won't too, because Keith is stressed and worried about projecting his emotions onto other people, right? Maybe this is just a case of that happening and it has nothing to do with Lance not being good enough. "Why'd you ask?"

  "You looked upset when you thought I wasn't looking a second ago," Keith explains with a slight shrug, cocking his head to the side as he stares over at Lance. Okay, so not about Keith's powers then. Keith bites his lip, giving Lance an anxious look as he leans in a bit on the couch. "You were frowning a bunch and glowering, but not like, at anyone. I mean I'm the only other person here, so you couldn't be. And I figured that meant you were upset?"

  "I - yeah, I'm kind of upset right now," Lance admits with a slight wince, closing his eyes because he can't believe he's so stressed that Keith noticed. Not that Keith isn't kind or compassionate, but Lance's poker face is pretty damn good, and Keith's social awareness is … less so given how often Lance catches him looking to him or Hunk or Shiro for social cues. It's cute.  

  "Oh, right," Keith says in a small voice, eyes widening as though he hadn't expected Lance to just come out and admit it. Keith shifts a little on the couch, moving toward Lance so their knees brush against each other. Keith glances up at him, gaze growing more determined, the same way as when he's taking down droids in training, one hand curling into a fist for a second before it flattens out on the couch. Keith takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a few seconds, gaze still just as determined but also calmer when he opens his eyes again. "Do you want to talk about it?"

  "I guess … I just feel like the team doesn't really need me, not like with everyone else," Lance tells him in a weak voice, wincing as the words slap him in the face. It sounds petty out loud, a concern that doesn't matter at all compared to what they're here for or anything else. And well, if Lance's powers aren't helping anyone, what does the team need him for?

 Keith blinks owlishly, leaning in a bit as though that will help him understand what Lance just said better. Lance sighs softly, eyebrows sloping down as he looks off to the side. A part of him doesn't want to see Keith's face when he realizes what Lance means, when he sees that Keith agrees him. Except when Lance finally turns his gaze back to Keith, he's still lost, Keith scrunching his eyebrows together as he stares over at Lance. "What are you talking about?"

  "C'mon Keith, you're smart and you can do the math," Lance mutters in a tight voice, raising an eyebrow at Keith, who looks no less confused than he did a second ago. Lance lets out a low exhale, willing himself through every painful part of this, trying to keep his eyes off of Keith while he talks. "Hunk has a unique power set that can be a weapon and used for repair work and he's a genius, so is Pidge and her power is controlling technology which is everywhere, Shiro is literally already a hero and he's a great leader and strategist, Allura's a natural leader and she can borrow anyone within 50 feet of her powers, and you're one of the best fighters at the Garrison without even using your powers. And I can make myself look like John Cena."

  "I usually leave the math to Pidge, you should consider doing the same thing," Keith quips, smiling softly as he nudges Lance with his shoulder. Then Keith takes a deep breath, that determined look from before coming back into his gaze. "But okay, I'm not - I'm not good with words, but Lance you're important to the team. We need you. Maybe you're not a genius like Hunk and Pidge or a leader like Shiro and Allura, but neither am I. You build us up and you come up with great plans on the field and you pay so much attention to what's going on around us. We'd all have died at least twice if you hadn't been there. And if we ever need to do espionage that is like talking to people and not crawling through vents, which we definitely will, you're way better for that than me or Allura or anyone. And your powers are - they're like you."

  "Thanks Keith, all of that means a lot to me," Lance tells him with a warmer smile this time, leaning in so their shoulders brush. Lance is, he's still a little worried, but hearing that Keith, who's so mission focused thinks he's important and useful and needed means a lot to Lance. But then Lance frowns, cocking his head to the side as he rolls Keith's words over in his mind One part of it doesn't make total sense to Lance. "But what did that last bit mean, exactly? My powers are like me?"

  "That you know, they're flexible and kind of confusing but in a good way most of the time," Keith mumbles, flushing slightly as his words spill out, as though he can't keep them inside anymore. Then Keith looks up at him, gaze surprisingly fond as his flush deepens, one hand brushing over Lance's own and resting there for a few seconds. "And beautiful."

  "Shiro was right, when you get sentimental you really go for it," Lance murmurs into Keith's ear, earning himself a glare that's more affectionate than heated. Lance knows he's blushing now too, both of them red-faced and giving each other tender looks as they sit side by side on the couch. After a moment they both shift a part, Keith grabbing a book from the table and flipping through pages while Lance starts working on his essay for magical morality. Still, Lance thinks the fact that they're hands brushing every few minutes is a good sign.

  Lance is heading toward the roof three days after his conversation with Keith, hoping to snap photos of the horizon as the sun rises. He's thinking about asking Keith if he'd like to draw them. maybe they could put them side by side on the wall, add some art to the apartment. It's just getting cool enough that he needs his blue duffle coat over his sweater, a white scarf around his neck that he keeps tugging out as he walks up the stairs and pushes the roof door open. And there's Keith, only wearing a sweater and jeans, hair hanging loosely around his face and a bag over his shoulder. Lance can feel his heart sinking even as he tries to plaster a smile on his face.

  "Keith? What are you doing up here with a duffle bag crammed full of … what's even in there?" Lance says as he looks down at the bag, just over-packed enough that Lance can see the outline of a pair of shoes. Lance can feel his nerves building, but he tries to push them down. Just because Keith has a giant duffle bag doesn't mean he's leaving. Maybe he's going to do an art project across campus or having a picnic. One where he has to hike so he needs to change shoes halfway through. Those are definitely things Keith could be doing and make just as much sense as him running away.

  "All of my stuff, I wanted to see if it would fit for if I have to leave," Keith says in a carefully voice, glancing at Lance and smiling stiffly as though he knows he's confirming all of Lance's fears. Keith glances away from him and across the roof, fingers clenching a bit as he takes a step to the left. "I don't know where I'm going, so I have to travel light. If I leave."

  Lance takes a deep breath, glancing over at Keith with a raised eyebrow as the other boy shifts the bag on his shoulder awkwardly. It looks heavy and like the strap might be painful for him, though he guesses Keith gets to decide how sore he feels. For now, anyway. Lance takes a few steps toward him, reaching one hand out and brushing it against Keith's shoulder, voice slightly shaky when he speaks again. "Why would you have to leave?"

 "You know why," Keith answers him in a low voice, gaze hitting the ground below. Right. So, nothing changed. After all those papers he printed out, all those conversations and bonding moments, after the entire team told Keith they accepted him and wanted to help him, none of it matters. Keith is still going to walk away from all of this. Lance can feel the frustration building in his chest, shaking his head as he stares at Keith and slowly pulls his hand back from Keith's shoulder. Keith bites his lip, flicking his gaze between Lance and the ground, eyes growing more and more anxious with each passing second.  "Lance, I thought about it, I did. but at the end of the day, this is still the best choice."

  "How could you think this was the best choice after everything I told you and Pidge and Shiro and Allura said? What part of any of that made you think having surgery with unpredictable side effects was still the first choice?" Lance snaps, knowing even as the words spill out of his mouth that they're not going to help. But maybe nothing ever was anyway. Lance shakes his head, wondering how they all got under each other's skin so fast. He just wants their team of six to stay together, for Keith to be here like he is right now. Lance lets out a low exhale, reaching his hand back out and then letting it drop to the side. He has no idea what to do anymore. "Keith."

  "I guess I'm just not very brave, not like all of you," Keith answers him, gaze soft and wistful as he looks over at him, cocking his head to side as he gives Lance a small smile. He looks … scared and defeated, not determined like he did when he talked about getting rid of his powers before. It makes treacherous hope blossom in his chest, that maybe Keith is going to change his mind after all and go back downstairs and unpack his duffle bag and they'll laugh about this.

  "That isn't true, but even if it was, it's not too late to change that," Lance tells him, taking a few steps toward Keith and holding out his hand. Keith looks down at it, smile fading into more of a grimace as he takes a step forward. There's a whirl of emotions in his gaze, anxiety and longing, hope and fear, all blending together as their hands are about to touch, Keith's fingers brushing against Lance's palm - and then just like that, Keith pulls away from him and walks around him.

  "Goodbye, Lance," Keith murmurs as he waves at him, taking a step backwards and then he stops. Keith suddenly lunges forward and gives Lance a quick hug, hair brushing against his chin. Lance closes his eyes, arms wrapping around Keith's back for a moment, hoping against reason that Keith will just stay near him. But then Keith pulls back, and Lance lets him go. He's done everything he can. The choice is up to Keith.

* * *

  "Here is the paperwork for your tests, please fill them out and bring them back to me when you're finished," The front desk receptionist tells Keith in a warm voice when he arrives at the hospital Friday morning, his smile kind yet removed. Keith takes the paperwork and walks over to the other side of the desk, leaning against the edge of the wall. He stares down at the file, grabbing the pen and taking off the lid. He stares at the top for a second, all the different shades and thickness of the ink coming into his gaze. he's never used his focus like this when drawing. Keith wonders if it would've made it even more beautiful. Keith guesses he'll know now. That's the best choice. He knows that. Keith does.

  "Thank you," Keith mutters as he holds the papers, crinkling between his fingertips. The front desk receptionist nods from across the mostly empty hospital waiting room. The silence of the room is overwhelming, and Keith takes a deep breath and lets the soft clicks of the clock grow louder, the slight buzz of the fish tank, the way the water is bubbling in the water cooler. It's strangely calming in its own way, lets Keith get out of his own head and he could've had all of this for years. But it's too late now.

  Keith stares at the page, making one thin line of the 'K' that he stares at blankly for a few seconds. Keith … he doesn't want to this anymore. He doesn't. the realization hits Keith suddenly. Keith … he's not at a place where he likes his powers yet, but he doesn't want to get rid of them anymore either. Not when he knows how many more people he can save with them than without them, has the proof in Pidge not having a scratch on her. Not when he's never felt what it's like to read or draw when he can see and feel the paper like it's a part of him. Not when getting rid of his powers also means getting rid of Shiro and Lance and the team and everything else Keith doesn't want to lose.

  Keith wants to stay, he wants to be good and, maybe he doesn't have to trade his magic for either of those things. Maybe Lance and Shiro and the others are right. He doesn't have to lose them. Keith can stay. They'll let him stay, even with his powers, even knowing who his mother was and what he's like. And no, it's not just that. They _want_ him to stay. All Keith has to do is believe that he can change, that his past and his mother's past and all the other times he's been rejected don't mean that he will be now. And for once, he does, at least enough to slide the papers back down the other side of the desk.

  "Yes? Did you need something else?" the front desk receptionist asks as Keith gives him a weak smile from across the desk, one hand pressing against the cold metal table. He feels like a jerk for handing the papers back right after he got them. They probably took time to put together. Keith lies the paperwork back down on the desk, glancing over at the receptionist and gives him a weak smile.

 "Tell Dr. Ryner that I'm sorry, but I can't do this," Keith answers him, voice tight and apologetic even as he feels relief bubbling in his chest. The receptionist stares back at him blankly for a moment, and Keith sees his gaze briefly land on the financial department before it comes back to him. Keith cocks his head to the side, pushing his eyebrows together for a moment before he finally realizes he hasn't actually said what he can't do. "Removing my powers, I mean. I'm not going to do it so there's no point in taking tests."

  "All right, I'll let Dr. Ryner know you're canceling your appointment," the receptionist tells Keith with a firm smile, taking back his papers with a quick nod. If he's annoyed at all, Keith can't see it in his expression.

  "I'm sorry," Keith says softly anyway, eyebrows sloping to the side as he thinks about much of his time he just wasted. The receptionist just gives him a knowing look, like Keith is far from the first person to change his mind about getting rid of his powers. Keith nods back at him and then turns on his heel, marching out of the hospital and down the road to the bus stop, listening to the early morning sounds of crickets and fluttering of ladybug wings, the dew brushing against his legs as he walks through the grass.

  Keith doesn't know when he starts running, just that he has, down the path and past the bus stop. It's only three miles to campus, and Keith has the feeling he's going to make it there in record time, picking up speed as his joints feel less and less pressure. Keith knows he's probably going to be anxious about this later, but right now he just wants to go back to the Garrison and tell everyone he's back. If they want him. So, Keith keeps running, past a small forest and through the back entrance of campus, waving his key at one of the guards without stopping. He doesn't until he's on top of the hill facing the quad and finds himself staring at a familiar boy with messy brown hair and a blue shirt with gold at the edge of the sleeves. Lance.

  "Lance!" Keith shouts as he runs down the quad, waving his hand in the air, laughter bubbling in his chest. He's happier than he has been in a long time, feels like years of weight has been lifted from his shoulders. Keith knows enough to know this feeling is temporary, that his insecurities and fears and issues with his powers are going to take a lot of time to fix. But Keith knows that something has changed and shifted, the fear of having magic lessened enough that he can deal with this, let other people in enough to help him deal with this. Lance stares over at him, gaze exhausted and short curls sticking out in every direction. Keith stops a few feet in front of him, taking a few deep breaths as the run catches up with him. "Hi, I'm still here."

  "Yeah, I can see that - wait, you're still here. You're supposed to be at the hospital," Lance says, realization coming into his gaze as his eyebrows shoot up. Lance throws his arms around Keith, grabbing him into a tight hug and wrapping around his back. This time Keith doesn't pull away from Lance until Lance lets go of him. Lance's blue eyes sparkle even brighter than normal in the morning sun as his voice rings out across the quad. "Which means you didn't go!"

  "Well, I went, but then I changed my mind right when I got there and ran all the way back," Keith explains with another peal of laughter, staring up at Lance as he tries to calm down. Keith still feels all of these emotions swirling in his chest, this relief and this happiness and yeah, still a lot of fear, but maybe not all bad fear. Lance lets out a small chuckle of his own shaking his head as he leans toward Keith with a small smile.

  "Of course, you did, you drama king," Lance scoffs, but his gaze is tender and relieved as he slides one hand onto Keith's shoulder. Keith lets out a small gasp at the touch, giving Lance a fond look when the scoff fades away into a bright smile. Lance reaches his other hand out to grab Keith's other shoulder, squeezing both softly and for a second Keith wonders if Lance is going to pull him into another quick hug. He doesn't, patting him on the shoulders instead as he pulls his hands back. "I'm happy though, Keith, I'm really, really happy for you and I'm gonna be here to help you figure out your powers, if you want."

  "I do, I - would you be okay with me still being on the team?" Keith asks softly, some anxiety coming back into his gaze as he bites his lip. Lance frowns, lips curling and eyebrows scrunching together as he stares over at Keith. Right, he probably needs to explain it. "I know I kind of left, I mean, I didn't officially drop out of the Garrison, I just told Shiro and you, and then everyone else seemed to kind of know? But I want to still be a part of it if you guys don't think I'm too unreliable."

  "I mean, it's not up to me, I'm one of six, but you have my vote, and I can tell you right now that I'm pretty sure the other four people on our team are gonna be okay with it too," Lance answers him with a warm smile, bring his hand back to Keith's shoulder as he shifts so they're closer together. Keith meets his gaze and finds Lance's own is sincere and feels some of the fear go out of him, because he knows Lance is right. The team are his friends now and Shiro has been for years, and Keith knows that if he apologizes and works hard to fix his mistakes and train, that he can be a part of this team. He doesn't need to be a spy or leave the Garrison. He can have his powers and he can have people in his life too. He doesn't have to pick.

  "Yeah," Keith murmurs as he stares up at Lance, smile growing fonder as he watches Lance's own grin grow wider. Lance is beautiful, warm and kind and he tried so hard to help Keith when he didn't need to, shouldn't have even wanted to, and Lance has brilliant blue eyes and freckles over the bridge of his nose. Keith likes him. Keith likes him, and he wants Lance to know even if he gets rejected. Lance deserves to know someone does and Keith is sick of feeling afraid right now. "Lance, this might be the adrenaline and if you're not into it - if you don't feel the same way or whatever - that's fine, but I meant what I said yesterday. About you being important and gorgeous and - you've been there for me when you didn't have to be."

  "I mean, you're pretty cute too," Lance tells him with a nervous laugh, gaze tender in a way that throws Keith. He knows Lance thought about kissing him, back before everything got so rough, but Keith wasn't sure, he thought it might have just been an in the moment thing. Lance's gaze grows softer, fingers brushing over Keith's cheek as he moves into his space a little more. "And I was there for you because I wanted to be. I like you."

  "Really?" Keith mutters before he can stop himself, eyes widening again as he takes in Lance's words. Lance frowns for a moment, eyebrows sloping to the side for a second. Then he nods as though to answer Keith's question, expression softening. As he takes another step toward Keith, fingers curling around his jaw. Keith feels himself flush even as his gaze grows determined, one of his hands coming up to grip Lance's shoulder. "Lance, would it be okay if I kissed you right now?"

  "Yeah, I think I'd like that a lot," Lance says as he leans in, smile still there but a touch more nervous as he meets Keith's gaze, so their faces are only a few inches apart. Keith darts up, pressing his lips against Lance's as he wraps his free hand around Lance's waist. Lance slides his arm around Keith's back at the same time, breaking the kiss only to lean down and plant a kiss on Keith this time, eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. Keith slides the hand from his waist up to his cheek, linking his fingers through Lance's own, their hands coming down to rest at their side.

  "That was nice," Keith whispers as they break the kiss, still holding Lance's hand with his own and squeezing it softly as he stares up at him. Lance grins at him, gaze dancing and light as they stand there in the quad staring at each other. Keith has no idea how much time passes, and he doesn't really care. Mostly he just wants to kiss Lance again. So, he does, leaning up and giving Lance another quick peck, turning away with a scowl he knows the flush coming back onto his face belies when Lance starts laughing at his expression. He's happy. Stupidly happy, scowling at this ridiculous boy.

  "Yeah, it was," Lance says warmly as he squeezes Keith's hand back, leaning over to kiss Keith on the cheek. Keith leans into the touch, taking in the softness of Lance's lips, the way they're slightly more chapped at the corners than in the center. They're slightly cold because of the crisp morning air in a way Keith finds refreshing. "Now let's go show everyone else you're staying."

 "Okay," Keith whispers as they start walking down the quad toward the gym, slowly letting go of each other's hands as they walk. A part of him wants to keep trading kisses in the quad, but he also wants to see Shiro and Pidge, to start figuring out what being at the Garrison means for him now that he's a magic student instead of a fighter. And there'll be time for kissing Lance later, time for all of it. Keith's not going anywhere.


End file.
